Posted on 12/05/2016 10:12:16 AM PST by C19fan
Dear Sugars,
My husband has a life that many people who are "rule-followers," like me, would envy. When I first met him, it was undeniably a passionate love affair. I'd never dated anyone or known anyone like him before. He took risks, lived all over the world, had many passions and has been a loyal friend. He's seven years older than I am, and we met at work, where his power and seniority at the office was insanely attractive to me. The year we got married, he wanted to take a risk and go back to graduate school to find his dream job. I trusted his judgment, and between his savings, my new job, and some sacrifices, we comfortably lived while he went through two years of graduate school. My husband now has his dream job. I'm proud of everything he's accomplished and what we were able to do together to make it happen.
Over the past four years, my career has skyrocketed in ways I never could have dreamed of. I've broken through the hypothetical glass ceiling in a male-dominated industry. I am a huge believer in women in the workplace and always will be. If they become the breadwinners in marriage, more power to them.
Now herein lies my problem — I became the breadwinner in an extreme way. I committed to supporting us for two years, but we're going on four now, and it will likely be five. Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses. What I've found is I can't live this girl-power lifestyle that I believe in.
(Excerpt) Read more at npr.org ...
How many red pills did I take? All of them.
This girl has issues. She is fundamentally unhappy with so many aspects of her life.
She needs to explore her issues more deeply than she can do, by writing to NPR.
She might do both of them a fzvor long term, by seeking divorce. No matter what her husband does, she will still be pissed off at him and their lives together. Some aspect of their lives will piss her off anyway.
Is there such a thing as red pill overdose?
Darling, if you truly love your husband you’ll do him the great favor of leaving him.
seeing as it is equal rights, then if he leaves her does she have to pay alimony now, and get the house, and dog?
I do not believe so.
“Go back to school” is usually synonymous with “postpone work”.
Actually, the responses of the NPR people to this shallow woman are quite sensible, not what I expected.
yea must be so hard for those rich folk who have these problems.
Maybe they should come to my neighborhood. Then watch what you have your A/C or thermostat , buy store brand food all the time, and think a pound of shrimp at Christmas is a special treat fore the family.
“I hate myself for it.”
That can happen when reality rubs your nose in the fact that you are as full of crap as a Christmas goose.
“I hate my sexist, wealthy, materialistic father”
Why, you smarmy ingrate. Just swallow the fact that you “broke the glass ceiling” as a special-privileges minority hire, and live on your husband’s salary.
“I hate that I want a more traditional lifestyle with a husband who can provide for me.”
Sounds like your husband can provide. What’s the matter, pride won’t let you live with less money? Stop, you’re breaking my heart.
“I don’t think I can be the financial provider and a mother.”
You can’t. That’s why God tells us not to do that unless we have to.
“And I hate that I would never look at my husband the same way if he was a stay-at-home dad.”
You would hate yourself for responding appropriately to the revelation that your husband is an honorary woman? How can one person get that screwed up?
“Our income divide is so extreme that I pay for 90 percent of our living expenses.”
If you are married, there is no “I pay”. Income, expense, assets and liability belong to the household.
That’s her real problem.
Evidently his dream job doesn’t pay squat. I’m sure they couldn’t have seen this coming.
Buyers remorse?
” My husband now has his dream job.”
So, they didn’t talk about the money aspect of things?
failure to truly 'get' that concept leads to no end of misery.
Dear Huma
This women is so stupid. First, she needs to understand that if the situation was reversed and she had a dead end job which she gave up to have kids, she would find herself sitting at home changing diapers trapped at nap time, unable to go out because a 6 month old has a schedule that is dictating her life. Her husband would come home late from time to time after a drink or dinner, telling her about the great things in the office. And all she has to offer, is their child’s poop was green today. She will feel trapped. When you take on responsibility you can feel trapped. Welcome to the world of responsibility.
If she married him for the money, she is an idiot. If she is not having kids because of her job, she is an idiot. If she thought that her career was 30 years of straight up, interesting change, she is an idiot. And the fact that she is blaming other people for her values demonstrates that she is both an idiot and shallow.
She should decide what she wants in life, and then she should go for that. Children are hard. Careers are hard. Marriage, at times, can be hard. And achieving money does not necessarily get you to your goals and certainly does not determine happiness. Come up with goals other than, I want to make money. You can have enough money very easily. You don’t need endless amounts. And stop blaming your mother-in-law and your father. This is your life. And if you’re not happy, its your fault.
She doesn’t say what either of them does for a living. His dream job might be ‘community organizer’.
It would also be interesting to know what kind of position she holds. I could use a wildly successful career myself, instead of just a successful one, LOL.
I think they would be better off separating so she can see if what she imagines the issues are meet up with reality.
The article reads like she wants to be ruled by the hated patriarchy so she can play housewife and mother because work is hard.
She’ll never be happy in that scenario. She’ll always oppose what she truly wants and she’ll never have fulfillment.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.