Posted on 11/23/2016 6:47:36 PM PST by markomalley
...because I do
This Blessing is more like the greatest responsibility on earth where you have to monitor it like a three year old your whole life.
You know I have never regretted a dime spent, but I can assure you that the smiles and unconditional love I get everyday are beyond any value. Any child costs but do you regret that or only money spent on one with special needs? Anyone can face a health issue that costs money, time, energy should we just discard anyone with a problem.
I have a story.
Her mother came down with measles in her first trimester. The baby was born with multiple defects: Madelung’s Deformity (a musculoskeletal disease), neurological auditory defects which rendered her deaf, malformed ears, and a cataract in the left eye (in the 50s not surgically remediable). The doctors at the time said the baby would never amount to anything but a ward of the state.
The father was an up-and-coming professional musician, with a promising career in Las Vegas. Instead of sticking her in an institution, he gave that up to stay near the home in New England, playing the local venues. The mother worked menial jobs to make ends meet.
They eventually enrolled their daughter in the American School for the Deaf, where she delivered the Salutatorian speech at her graduation. She went on to graduate from Gallaudet University.
How do I know her? She’s been my beloved wife for 36 years. We have a daughter who is a nurse and her husband is a Veterinary Assistant. They have three terrific kids and another on the way.
Yes, it is a blessing. I’m sorry you can’t see that.
Wealthy parents have more opportunities to help these kids develop to their highest potential. Of course these special schools are only found in a few in certain states. Much like the MR population, the earlier and more intense programs yield the optimum results.
If I had an autistic child or severe LD kid and no money, I would move to Connecticut (Massachusetts-2nd choice) because they have incorporated the best special-ed learning programs within their public school system. Otherwise I’d be prepared to research a great deal and mimic their programs, as best possible with other home-schooled similar kids.
Private Schools Specializing in Autism: Pros and Cons
More and more private schools are opening which specializes in serving children on the autism spectrum. These schools are expensive since they build in full-day therapeutic interventions including speech, occupational and physical therapy as well as academics.
Tuitions can easily be as high as $75,000 per year. They may also be the ideal choice for your child with autism.
Autism-only schools serve both high and low-functioning children with autism, and can do a great job at both ends of the spectrum. Young people with Asperger syndrome may find themselves at home for the first time in their lives at an Asperger-only school.
There, they may find true friends, supportive and understanding teachers, and opportunities to thrive in new ways. Children who are more profoundly autistic will find highly trained specialists with the time, energy and commitment to providing intensive, caring 1:1 interventions.
Autism-only schools are often set up based on a specific therapeutic philosophy. For example, there are private schools which spend the majority of the day implementing the behavioral intervention. There are others dedicated to teaching through Floortime, and still others with the focus largely on Relationship Development Intervention. If you know what you want, you can find it locally and you can fund it, you’re in great shape. If not, you may have to go with the program that’s available and fundable.
The downside of a school for children with autism is the world unto itself. While at school, children experience ONLY people who understand and care for them. Their peers are all autistic. Even parents of their peers “get” their autism.
Even when the school deliberately creates opportunities for inclusion in the typical world, those opportunities are carefully contrived and controlled. That means that your child with autism will have relatively few opportunities to learn the coping skills they’re likely to need when they graduate.
I am saying a normal life is over for both the parents and all the children in the family. As a matter of fact you have to worry about the extra hardships in life passed onto another sibling child in all these cases. Or what losses the sibling child takes because of the tons of energy and resources going into the challenged child.
There yours, you love them but depending on the situation or if they are boys, things can get 1000% more difficult.
You would go OMG if I went into the antics of the 37 year old from age 20 on. Holes in walls, broken doors, anxiety, hookers with aids, constant emergency room visits and sense of self reliance or responsibility.
I work in a general high school and all schools within the Wake County NC system offer special needs classes. Some schools serve different needs but classes are available to all special needs under the ADA. May not meet the offerings of those private schools but services are available.
Good for you, but it depends on the capacity there for that result.
Girls FAR easier to deal with than boys also.
It’s a case by case situation, your wife’s result was a great one, but you made the case about how life changing it was to the family. Thank God she has you and a great daughter.
So somewhere in New England, she got a great education despite of her difficulties. And there lies the key- her location.
American School for the Deaf- the first, the best, and one of the only deaf schools in the country. Children outside of New England and a few other locales with special needs have miserable choices and their education and their lives suffer greatly.
Public schools for the most part, label the kid for the highest level of funding and provide minimal services. It’s a very sad joke of a system. Truly, a mind is a terrible thing to waste and it’s frustrating. Public schools can be very wasteful and they often lack the proper staff.
I encouraged a mom to allow her kid to be labeled ‘autistic’ although he was not, just to get the 3Xweek speech services he otherwise would never receive. He was entering kindergarten -mute, but not deaf, with high functioning asperger’s. However, his mom would volunteer at the school 3 days per week-gardening, to ensure he actually got his speech therapy (yes, like a spy). Speech Therapists are often over-burdened and we found the district was falsifying the log book to pretend that hundreds of hours of services were given that were never actually provided to the SE kids.
Another toddler was labeled deaf by the PS. Mom toured the program for those kids and literally threw-up. Parents flew him to Manhattan Eye & Ear Institute where it was discovered he had 30% deafness in one ear and about 15% in the other. But he had CAPD and was fitted with high tech hearing aids and given a microphone for his teacher. His mom and I went to six private schools until we could find one amiable to educating him wearing the microphone around teachers neck. It was Christ Church -a Methodist school. With speech therapy and extra tutoring he did well and progressed to Catholic High School. He is athletically gifted and was a state ranked wrestler. A great kid. Graduated college with a psychology degree.
While I understand how you recognize the beauty of special gifts, truly without the best parents, educational opportunities, and advocates, things often turn out real badly. Their lives can often be a huge burden and a personal struggle. Each case is different.
Sorry for your situation truly. Our life may not be “normal” to some but what is normal for one family isn’t normal for another. We have friends with children who would be considered “normal” and they have so many problems with them that I see our life as so much happier and more free.
Yep! I saw a very poised(tall) but none the less little 10 year old boy. Much braver than I am. No way in hell I could be up on that stage and I am way older then he is.
One child was 5 classes away from graduating college when stuff struck and it was watching a life instantly ending in all truth.
Classes are available - special needs - ADA- mainly a joke.
Have you ever interviewed a Special Education teacher?
Some are teaching dyslexics, asperger’s, autistic, mentally retarded, deaf, etc. Yet they have never taken coursework that cover those specific areas. It’s the luck of the draw.
Most of the kids end up tossed into general education classes ‘as mainstreaming’ and the kids get little or nothing. Just paced along. The best way to find out is check the internet specific forums and read the local comments.
In some schools, in order to get specific services for specific issues, parents often resort to suing their school district. Sometimes their successful, often times not.
Many special needs kids families withdraw them from the schools and the schools are often thankful because they lack the proper resources to do the job. There’s an industry of these private schools catering to needs, but they deserve careful scrutiny before you fork over the farm to pay.
I have a friend whose son has Downs Syndrome -aged 30 years old. The suburbs of San Francisco did an amazing job with him and he is very high functioning adult. Early on he had PT, OT, and Speech 1:1 all day long (3-8 yrs. old.) The district invested a ton of time & resources into him, it paid off. He was mainstreamed for middle school & HS.
The quality of services are all relative to your location.
I do not as a Special Education teacher consider myself a joke. I won’t argue with you as I see no reason to try to convince you of such a strongly held belief nor subject myself to being called a joke.
American School for the Deaf- the first, the best, and one of the only deaf schools in the country. Children outside of New England and a few other locales with special needs have miserable choices and their education and their lives suffer greatly.
You are so wrong. The American School for the Deaf is a terrible school. It is an oralism school. My wife didn't truly get a good education until she got to Gallaudet where she learned ASL.
At ASD she was abused emotionally and physically by the students and the teachers for her physical disabilities.
It was the unconditional love she received from her parents that made the difference in her life, not the schools she attended.
What a terrible poverty of the soul that you should feel this way. I am sorry.
The application of the intent of ADA can be a real bad joke. But, not all spec-ed teachers, there are some great ones. My best friend, especially. She was great at teaching needs kids until she was stabbed in the face with a pen, just missing her eye. She is now a principal, and her teachers push a panic button when they are attacked or a kid needs restraining and she dispatches someone to do the job.
Your area, Raleigh, just opened the first charter school in NC that focuses on young people with intellectual, social or developmental disabilities. That’s an interesting concept- the opposite of inclusion.
Wake County & NC may be doing a much better job than some other places. But many families in other states have not been pleased with special education for decades.
I’ve seen lots- inexperienced SLD teachers, teachers that are unqualified to teach or help specific types of kids, and the biggest issue- the lack of availability of the SLD teachers. One teacher assigned to juggle two schools, with teacher-aides used to patch in? When the parents have to teach the kids math, reading, writing, speech, and provide therapy privately, because the school’s SLD program fails, the school’s ADA compliance is a joke. The schools have learned to carefully rewrite and word IEP’s with ambiguous often meaningless already achieved goals and services they don’t deliver.
And the other huge issue- kids that are mainstreamed that actually need very specific small group help- they are lost in the crowd. And integrating some kids who are so severe, they entirely disrupt and are dangerous within the classrooms. They interfere with the education of the rest of the class. I know the teacher is not responsible, but the district or the state has allowed this to become the norm. I don’t know if this changes with a new Sec. of Education, or if it remains a state / local issue.
Nearly everyone I knew whose kid needed special help always ended up leaving for private schooling, boarding school, or homeschooling.
Thank God for her loving parents. She must have been very bright and tenacious to have survived a terrible schooling and came out on top.
That’s horrible about ASD, I hope they have turned around since that was several decades ago and are not still strictly oralism. Galludet U. has a second school campus in St. Augustine for both the deaf & blind.
I think online learning or partial online learning can be a huge learning tool for special needs kids because the materials can be delivered in written or audio form and repeated as necessary at the learners convenience. Interaction is often more engaging between teachers and students or within guided group activities.
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