(Satire) Unlocked iPhone Worthless After F.B.I. Spills Glass of Water on It (Link Only)

The New Yorker — The Borowitz Report | March 29, 2016 | BY ANDY BOROWITZ

[Swordmaker]

Unlocked iPhone Worthless After F.B.I. Spills Glass of Water on It — by Andy Borowitz — The New Yorker — The Borowitz Report. Link only due to copyright issue.

[EagleUSA]

This whole story now reads like a very poorly written spy novel. Farce at best.

[Chode]

on purpose no doubt

[sagar]

Gubmint screws it up.

[GSWarrior]

You are a bad man

[PGR88]

indeed, I suspected agitprop and diversions all along, not its just ridiculous.

[InvisibleChurch]

Put it in a bag of rice

[lee martell]

Satire. You really had me going. Nowadays, nothing seems off the table of possibilities.

[Clay Moore]

They bricked it and this is a convenient excuse to cover for why they don't get any info off of it.

[RC one]

They’re a bunch of dumb SOBs for announcing that they could decrypt it in the first place. Morons.

[LostInBayport]

This post is news satire from The Borowitz Report.

And pretty funny satire at that. I did think it was real for a few seconds; the incompetence of our government really knows no bounds.

[dennisw]

Pathetic stab at humor here and iphones will always be hackable. Its just that in the future hardware hacks will also have to be done where one or a few key chips are lifted out, reprogrammed and reinserted. And if not the same chip than an identical different one programmed just the right way. Making this a combo hardware/software hack

The just hacked iPhone only needed a software hack done by Israelis a few notches more intelligent than the Cupertino foam party boys and the PLA/Foxcomm operatives they farm out the rest of their software development to. When will the foam party be moving to the new Apple cult/Louis Farrakan style mothership building?

[moovova]

I hope they had the insurance.

[KarlInOhio]

This post is news satire from The Borowitz Report.

And Hillary had already sent a case of bottled water to the agent investigating her server.

[PghBaldy]

Here’s the funny thing- news today said they cracked it on Sunday. Easter. Anyone believe government workers were working on Sunday?

[hsmomx3]

What a joke!!!

[SubMareener]

This post is news satire from The Borowitz Report.

[gaijin]

Come on..!

If the FBI really did extract actionable info from the phone, who thinks we’d want the bad guys to hear of it and get all prepped up..?

No, you’d want the bad guys TOTALLY RELAXED, soaking up the sun, poolside, right as your guys fast-rope down and cap them all in their foreheads.

Oh SURE they bricked it, suuuuure..!!

[dfwgator]

[Rembrandt]

These definitely ARE men of the “O”