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He threw a tantrum. She ignored him.
The Week ^ | February 3, 2016 | Annabbel Monaghan

Posted on 02/05/2016 4:56:59 AM PST by daniel1212

I saw a woman leaving the YMCA recently with a baby strapped to her chest. She had a second, slightly larger baby in a stroller. And she had a tantrum-throwing three-year-old holding her hand. She was infested with small children. I couldn't help but stare...

The three-year-old was trying to make a scene. I say "trying to make a scene" because he was waging war against his mother, and she was refusing to participate. With a steady gait and an even expression, she ignored him.

It was the most spectacular moment in parenting I have ever seen. This woman, who I imagine lives in a shoe, should teach a seminar.

The three-year-old kept saying "You're so mean to me," over and over again. I tried to think back to all of the things I would have said in this situation when I had toddlers to defend myself against. "I'm mean??" I would have started. "You're the one who..." But this mother said nothing. And without a reaction from his mother, this kid was firing blanks.

He tried a new approach. "I'm freezing. I don't even have any pockets." To which his mother calmly responded, "Oh, that's too bad. You should have brought a jacket with pockets."...

The key to our parking lot heroine's success is that she was decidedly not self-conscious. She was aware that I had stopped in my tracks to watch this scene, riveted. But in the same way that she wasn't going to hand her power over to her three-year-old, she wasn't going to hand it over to me either...

As they got in the car, the child threatened, "When we get home I'm going to my room!" His mother replied, "I think that's a wonderful idea."

Checkmate.

(Excerpt) Read more at theweek.com ...


TOPICS: Education; Humor; Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: brat; children; discipline; liberal
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To: Quality_Not_Quantity

The fact that she thinks that way explains why she was amazed that ignoring bad behavior is the right way to handle it.

The author is a moron


21 posted on 02/05/2016 5:39:35 AM PST by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: Quality_Not_Quantity

It was meant to be funny, but IMO failed. I almost quit reading at that point.

Basically, the writer marvels that someone had the self-confidence not to bargain with a 3 year old (or with a bystanding author).


22 posted on 02/05/2016 5:40:19 AM PST by MortMan (I am offended by those who believe they have a right not to be offended.)
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To: daniel1212
I saw a woman leaving the YMCA recently with a baby strapped to her chest. She had a second, slightly larger baby in a stroller. And she had a tantrum-throwing three-year-old holding her hand. She was infested with small children. I couldn't help but stare...

My oldest daughter is right there now. 3 kids, 5 and under. We were there 30 years ago.

It's worth it.

23 posted on 02/05/2016 5:44:18 AM PST by Lee N. Field ("I don't care if there's a billion of you. You're in a cult.")
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To: Nifster

That statement repulsed me, too. It got even better when the author assumed she must live in a shoe.

A normal parenting response to normal preschool whining is now a spectacular sight to behold. It’s also pretty normal to have a few children close in age. I had my first four in less than six years.

I get that the author is impressed with this mom, but the tone gets under my skin.


24 posted on 02/05/2016 5:44:48 AM PST by NorthstarMom (God says debt is a curse and children are a blessing, yet we apply for loans and prevent pregnancy.)
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To: daniel1212

My daughter threw a laying on the floor, kicking, screaming tantrum ONCE when she was a toddler. A good, swift spank ended it and she didn’t try it again.


25 posted on 02/05/2016 5:44:49 AM PST by reegs
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To: daniel1212

One more thought - The key to ignoring kids (and politicians) acting out is to first assure compliance. The 3 year old was trying to engage verbally, but is otherwise noted as complying - having no choice, most likely, but complying with the requirement to move from the store to the car.

Ignoring the imploring voice to get into a debate is one thing, but the republicans in washington try to get us to engage verbally (with “show votes” on defunding Obamacare, for example) while being spectacularly non-compliant (by funding Obamacare for 2 years in the omnibus just passed).


26 posted on 02/05/2016 5:45:02 AM PST by MortMan (I am offended by those who believe they have a right not to be offended.)
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To: daniel1212

...demand that the bystanders pay the child cash to stop him from whining.


27 posted on 02/05/2016 5:45:09 AM PST by nitzy (I don't vote for Republican'ts)
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To: daniel1212
Gee, what happened to parenting skills...

My wife and I raised six children all very close in age except for the last one...he was an -gift- eight years later!

The idea that my three year old child would conduct an argument with me in a public place would not register in my brain or theirs...

That simply was not allowed to happen...

We did it though training and godly discipline...

Throwing a temper tantrum is a form of passive rebellion, basically a child telling you I'm going to make your life miserable until I got what I want and be in control...

Child are not the center of the universe, the faster they are taught that the better behaved they are...

28 posted on 02/05/2016 5:46:09 AM PST by Popman (Christ alone: My Cornerstone...)
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To: daniel1212

Years ago when I told my manager at the time that we were expecting our third or fourth child (I can’t remember which) looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears and asked, “What are you thinking??!!” What little respect I had for her then ended right there.


29 posted on 02/05/2016 5:47:18 AM PST by reegs
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To: ConservativeDude

Agreed. We have 4 kids and whenever my friends ask, “I don’t know how you do it,” I reply, “Well, there no NOT doing it.”


30 posted on 02/05/2016 5:48:36 AM PST by reegs
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To: NorthstarMom

True words


31 posted on 02/05/2016 5:50:50 AM PST by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: Nifster

I agree. I would have (in an appropriate manner) wore his butt out. It’s what taught me. I think the worst one was when Dad took me our of church services. It was NOT comfortable sitting on that hard pew when we came back in.


32 posted on 02/05/2016 6:00:25 AM PST by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: daniel1212
If the mom was a liberal pol she would have said "It's all Ted Cruz's fault."
33 posted on 02/05/2016 6:02:28 AM PST by norwaypinesavage (The Stone Age did not end because we ran out of stones)
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To: wideawake

During the late 30s and early 40s my Mother and Father were inVested with 3 boys of their own an 30+ foster and a few day care children.
There was a war going on in the world.
My Dad’s WW1 job had him on call 24-7, but at home base.
None of us children and our children, ever spent a day in jail.
Even a few became came Ministers and Missionaries.
Good MOTHERs inVest!
God Bless them!
God help those that need help!


34 posted on 02/05/2016 6:02:38 AM PST by GOYAKLA ( Pick-up the pace, I'm eighty!)
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To: Gaffer
Yes a poor choice. I think the tone of the article was admiring, and I think the choice of “infesting” was intended more to convey that this woman was dealing with extenuating circumstance that maybe the author or someone else would consider extreme, but one with she handled rather routinely.

You are right, whereas the liberal response could likely be something like:

1. "What is this women doing with 3 young children (did she ever hear of contraception or abortion), especially when she is obviously struggling to care for them."

2. "As a psychiatrist I can say that the mother obviously does not realize the emotional damage that she is inflicting upon the child by not giving proper attention to his cries for attention, and meeting them. The author should have reprimanded the mother or called child services."

3. "It is cruel to let a child [who actually sounds like he is at least 5] suffer like that [cold hands] due to his poor choices [a jacket with no pockets], and expect him to learn what kind of jacket to wear."

4. "What is this women doing dragging three young kids around? Maybe she cannot afford day care, and which is a reason why we need the government to pay for this."

5. "The women sounds like one of those misguided stay-at-home career mothers who and likely believes in the physical discipline of children, thus likely producing another future angry male."

For the record, i think children are a blessing from God and are to be loved and cared for as such, but that lack of discipline and not teaching them to be self reliant (in dependence upon God) and to make do in difficult situations is a degree of a form of child abuse. The same hands that hug may have to sometimes spank.

35 posted on 02/05/2016 6:12:15 AM PST by daniel1212 ( Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned and destitute sinner+ trust Him to save you, then follow Him!)
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To: daniel1212

I agree except with number one from a liberal point of view. It would be: This woman clearly has not benefitted from life’s lottery and MUST have additional tax payer support to bring these lives to a just, fruitful and rewarding outcome. We must immediately tax everyone to accomplish it.


36 posted on 02/05/2016 6:16:26 AM PST by Gaffer
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To: Popman
My wife and I raised six children all very close in age except for the last one...he was an -gift- eight years later! The idea that my three year old child would conduct an argument with me in a public place would not register in my brain or theirs... That simply was not allowed to happen... We did it though training and godly discipline... Throwing a temper tantrum is a form of passive rebellion, basically a child telling you I'm going to make your life miserable until I got what I want and be in control... Child are not the center of the universe, the faster they are taught that the better behaved they are...

I can only imagine what a MONSTER you would be called if you posted that on MSM forums! Even by so-called Christians.

37 posted on 02/05/2016 6:18:34 AM PST by daniel1212 ( Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned and destitute sinner+ trust Him to save you, then follow Him!)
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To: Nifster

“I quit reading when the stupid author said the woman was infested withcjildren”

You missed a good piece then. The mother executed perfect skills.


38 posted on 02/05/2016 6:19:36 AM PST by zek157
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To: reegs
Years ago when I told my manager at the time that we were expecting our third or fourth child (I can’t remember which) looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears and asked, “What are you thinking??!!” What little respect I had for her then ended right there.

Yes, that corresponds to my #1 response by liberals above.

39 posted on 02/05/2016 6:20:40 AM PST by daniel1212 ( Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned and destitute sinner+ trust Him to save you, then follow Him!)
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To: GOYAKLA
During the late 30s and early 40s my Mother and Father were inVested with 3 boys of their own an 30+ foster and a few day care children. There was a war going on in the world. My Dad’s WW1 job had him on call 24-7, but at home base. None of us children and our children, ever spent a day in jail. Even a few became came Ministers and Missionaries. Good MOTHERs inVest! God Bless them! God help those that need help!

Which are now largely to be found only in museums. (Actually imagine a museum of such families, now nearing extinction in post-Christian America.)

40 posted on 02/05/2016 6:23:15 AM PST by daniel1212 ( Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned and destitute sinner+ trust Him to save you, then follow Him!)
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