Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
That’s a good idea!
Swimming is a great thing to learn.
I can Scuba dive without Lead weights, the instructor called me a ‘RockFish’. The nerve.
:)
Nully’s doesn’t have pockets to put the apples in...
Yes..
And I will take a wander about the perimiter and visually inspect the sundry sites that I watered with special solution to see if there is any ‘progress’.. (Usual progress on the next day is that the leafthings develop a noticeable curl. On the path toward developing a pleasing brown hue. Well - actually the nettles turn black.)
And I was surprised to see another white furbeast with no tail to tell in the area. Tends to indicate that the Manx genes are loose in the feral community around here.
So how long will it be before I get adopted again. Three miles isn’t all that far away for a wandering feline.
That will cost you. <_<
My problem with SCUBA diving is that I need a LOT of lead weights because I don’t sink. I can’t even swim to the bottom of a 7’ deep pool.
My son, however, is like you: if he stops moving, he sinks. If I stop moving, I just float.
Heh-heh :o]
That’s kind of happy news, to hear of another while kitteh with no tail to tell... ;o]
Actually, I like the B&W one, and as I was rearranging some books today, I came across the book that the movie was made from. It’s a little longer in the telling than the movie was, and doesn’t end with the LA folks calling the FBI.
GOOD movie!
“...How long before I get adopted again...”
Now you have been sighted.
Once a lock has been obtained on your scent trail, I’d say about 3 days.
Break out the welcome wagon! :)
Consider it a built in safety feature. :)
Afternoon, all. Nap with Jake completed. Next thing is to get five people ready to get their picture made with the swim team. Then they will swim.
Tom says the interview was not of the “Will we take you?” sort, but of the, “Are you sure you want to sign up?” sort. He does. The next thing is to visit the Caterpillar corporation training facility, where they have the construction equipment he will learn to repair. He says he can be registered before he leaves for his summer camp job, June 12.
That is what you call landing on your feet. :)
Plant Engineers are always in short supply.
That’s what I hear.
(Built in water wings...)
The conversation usually goes along these lines..
Oh, my! That sounds like excellent news for Tom! Good for him! NOW I’m excited! You will have to keep me posted on this, please!
While I was bumbling around in the kitchen earlier, getting ready to take my noon pills, I knocked over a cup of water. *sheesh* I hate when I do that.
The good news is that I have a loaf of artisan bread proofing, and it will be ready to bake in the morning. The recipe is so easy. The hard part is cutting an “X” in the top and sticking it in the oven!
Chuck was the only peep at the table today, though LuDean made a brief appearance on the way to her car, and he asked me if I would take him to the store in the morning, since he doesn’t trust the transmission in his truck. But I don’t mind taking him. He’s a good guy. And besides: He grew up eight miles from me! :o]
Yes, that’s very funny, but it sounds like me instead of Grandma...
I distinctly remember that it was NOT you who called me last night at 9:47 pm...
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