Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 09/04/2015 5:55:01 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

14 Obnoxious Things We Can Finally Stop Doing Now That Summer's Over

Thanks for everything, Summer. Don't come back for another 12 months, m'kay?

1. Being punched in the face by sunlight at 5 am.

Dear Sun. Some of us would like to sleep in until 7. K-thx.

 

2. Worrying about whether there may or may not be a visible hair on your legs.

Bring on jeans, leggings, and never, ever having to bandage bloody nicks.

 

3. Feeling like you have to do something EVERY SECOND OF EVERY WEEKEND.

Sometimes I just want to sit in my dark, den of a house and watch TV and nice weather BE DAMNED.

 

4. Washing your filthy, filthy feet every night because flip flops protect you from nothing.

And only some of that is actual dirt.

 

5. Walking around doped up on Claritin because the AIR is 90% things you're allergic to.

A dry nose and eyes that don't water? Must be magic.

 

6. Feeling obligated to sit on the patio every time you go out to eat.


If I wanted to sunburn while I ate, I could've just had a sandwich on the sidewalk.

 

7. Caring about what that double scoop is doing to your beach body.


Just put on a sweatshirt and EAT ALL OF THE ICE CREAM.

 

8. Thumbing up the pictures of people who got to go on way better summer vacations than you.


FACT: If you got to leave the country, I secretly hate you.

 

9. Donating plasma just so you can keep your house a reasonable temperature.

Bring on open window weather!

 

10. Constantly being petrified that someone can smell your BO.

Not much you can do about it in 99% humidity.

 

11. Worrying about whether or not the sun is turning your body into a melanoma playground.

Life is so much simpler when you can wear long sleeves. (But seriously, always wear sunscreen. Always.)

 

12. Submerging your body in what are basically giant pee-filled bathtubs just to keep from having heatstroke.

Mmm... the refreshing feel of bacteria.

 

13. Making up reasons why you can't spend the weekend sleeping in a tent with 4 other people.

#1: I have a house.

 

14. Covering yourself in stinky chemicals to ward off bloodsucking insects.

First frost and they're all dead. Can't wait... mwahahahaha!

Silliness


***

One sunny day in January 2017, an old man approaches the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He speaks to the U.S. Marine standing guard and says, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine looks at the man and says, “Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here. ”The old man says, “Okay,” and walks away.

The following day the same man approaches the White House and says to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine again tells the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer President and no longer resides here.” The man thanks him and again just walks away.

The third day the same man approaches the White House and speaks to the very same U.S. Marine, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with President Obama.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looks at the man and says, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I’ve told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looks at the Marine and says, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snaps to attention, salutes, and says, “See you tomorrow, Sir!”

***

***

"In a new campaign ad, Jeb Bush referenced 'The Godfather' and said his nickname used to be 'Veto Corleone' because he vetoed so many bills in Florida.

When you're the third person in your family to run for president, maybe you shouldn't bring up a movie trilogy where the third one was clearly the worst." –Jimmy Fallon

***

"Today Jeb Bush announced he's running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush's message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign." –Conan O'Brien

***

"Jeb Bush is taking his presidential campaign on a tour of Europe. He's telling Europeans, 'I like you guys because you're comfortable having the same family in charge for centuries.'" –Conan O'Brien

***

He… makes…. me… so… sleepy…. ZZzzzz…
"Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House." –Jimmy Fallon

***

"By accident Jeb Bush announced that he was running for president.

And then he said, 'No, not yet. OK, I made a mistake.' And then later in the day, by accident, he called Hillary and congratulated her. " –David Letterman

***

"According to The New York Times, Jeb Bush identified himself as Hispanic on his 2009 voter registration form. While Hillary Clinton identified herself as 'President.'" –Seth Meyers

***

"Jeb announced on the Internet that he is exploring a 2016 bid for president. And to increase his chances, he's going to run as just 'Jeb.' He said, 'My last name? It's not important.'" –Seth Meyers

***

"Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

***

"Bush said his brother, Jeb, would make a great president. That's all we need. Big Brother's little brother." –Bill Maher

***



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bush; ofst; silliness; summer
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-47 next last

Ingenious kid hacks his parents' phones so that the word 'no' automatically changes to 'hell yes'

1 posted on 09/04/2015 5:55:01 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IN!!!


2 posted on 09/04/2015 5:55:54 AM PDT by Malone LaVeigh
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Malone LaVeigh

IBP


3 posted on 09/04/2015 5:56:50 AM PDT by envisio (I ain't here long... I'm out of napalm and .22 bullets.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Woohoo!! I’m taking a week off next week!


4 posted on 09/04/2015 5:58:14 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 6amgelsmama; 88keys; ...

ALL


MATTERS!


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


5 posted on 09/04/2015 6:00:46 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Good Morning!

:-)


6 posted on 09/04/2015 6:01:54 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: left that other site

Top Six! :-)


7 posted on 09/04/2015 6:03:48 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top ten


8 posted on 09/04/2015 6:04:21 AM PDT by barmag25
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AH MEN TGIF!!


9 posted on 09/04/2015 6:04:54 AM PDT by Currentriverrat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Currentriverrat

Number 10... woohoo.

Bet I am now 11.


10 posted on 09/04/2015 6:06:34 AM PDT by EQAndyBuzz (2016 - Jews for Cruz)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Top ten!


11 posted on 09/04/2015 6:06:46 AM PDT by Redcitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: left that other site

12 posted on 09/04/2015 6:07:15 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
"4. Washing your filthy, filthy feet every night because flip flops protect you from nothing."

What a relief! Now many of us can get back to washing our feet every other night. Or, like me, every 3 or 4 days. :)

13 posted on 09/04/2015 6:07:42 AM PDT by ETL (ALL (most?) of the Obama-commie connections at my FR Home page: http://www.freerepublic.com/~etl/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Redcitizen

Dang! Missed it by that much! Oh well. Happy Friday everyone. :)


14 posted on 09/04/2015 6:07:53 AM PDT by Redcitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

IN!!!


15 posted on 09/04/2015 6:08:43 AM PDT by TADSLOS (A Ted Cruz Happy Warrior! GO TED!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Happy FReeper FRiday!


16 posted on 09/04/2015 6:11:38 AM PDT by PROCON (GOD will NOT be mocked!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Redcitizen

17 posted on 09/04/2015 6:19:53 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: P.O.E.

That was a great show! Thanks for posting.


18 posted on 09/04/2015 6:24:13 AM PDT by Redcitizen
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

FLOATING SPOON on Mars


19 posted on 09/04/2015 6:29:30 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: ETL
What a relief! Now many of us can get back to washing our feet every other night. Or, like me, every 3 or 4 days. :)
You still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie?
20 posted on 09/04/2015 6:31:05 AM PDT by cartan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-47 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson