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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 07/31/2015 5:41:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Quick...let's all be silly!



RANDOM SILLINESS BEGINS......NOW....










White man problems...






A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a little cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door named Lacey, got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,' but before she could say 'F***-off'!, the Rottweiler ate her!"


A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.’

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."



A man is stuck in traffic on I-25 near Denver. He asks a Police officer about the delay as he walks from car to car speaking with each of the drivers.

The policeman says, "There are three Muslims blocking traffic and threatening to douse themselves with gas and set themselves on fire if we don't get them airline tickets to the Middle East. So we're taking up a collection for them."

The Man replies, "How much have you got so far?"

The Policeman responds, "About 30 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

 




TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness
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To: Heartlander; Darksheare; NoCmpromiz; Monkey Face; RedMDer; deoetdoctrinae; onyx; Tax-chick; ...

LOL +
#70


81 posted on 07/31/2015 12:17:31 PM PDT by moose07 (DMCS (Dit Me Cong San ) - Nah)
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To: moose07

Good one!


82 posted on 07/31/2015 12:19:39 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("All the time live the truth with love in your heart." ~Fr. Ho Lung)
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To: moose07

NOT my fault!


83 posted on 07/31/2015 12:51:32 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: Darksheare

That’s YOUR story..


84 posted on 07/31/2015 12:58:55 PM PDT by NoCmpromiz (John 14:6 is a non-pluralistic comment.)
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To: Darksheare

Are you sure?
It has all the hallmarks of a Darkshearrian type event.


85 posted on 07/31/2015 3:13:09 PM PDT by moose07 (DMCS (Dit Me Cong San ) - Nah)
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To: moose07

It would have had to have been a rabbit, or a funny looking piebald calico.


86 posted on 07/31/2015 3:20:33 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: NoCmpromiz

Yes, and nobody can prove otherwise.
I deal mainly with feline or leporid critters.


87 posted on 07/31/2015 3:23:57 PM PDT by Darksheare (Those who support liberal "Republicans" summarily support every action by same.)
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To: Lucky9teen

F abulous Thunderbirds
L overboy
E LO
D amn Yankees
E agles
R amones
M otley Crue
A erosmith
U 2
S mashing Pumpkins


88 posted on 07/31/2015 3:31:54 PM PDT by Fledermaus (To hell with the Republican Party. I'm done with them. If I want a Lib Dem I'd vote for one.)
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To: Heartlander; BenLurkin

89 posted on 07/31/2015 4:14:42 PM PDT by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: Lucky9teen
Bad Company
Aerosmith
Yes
Nazareth
Allman Brothers
T. Rex
Iron Butterfly
Van Halen
Eagles

90 posted on 07/31/2015 4:33:56 PM PDT by Baynative (Liberty lost is a high price to pay for the experiment of socialism.)
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To: BenLurkin

The list would have been shorter if I’d just used my real name, even if I’d included my middle name.


91 posted on 07/31/2015 5:56:09 PM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Nothing is sometimes the right thing to do, and always a wise thing to say.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Styx
U2
ZZTop
In Sync
Eagles


92 posted on 08/02/2015 2:08:36 AM PDT by princess leah
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To: princess leah

Sex Pistols
Concrete Blonde
Overkill
Thin Lizzy


93 posted on 08/02/2015 6:44:58 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Nothing is sometimes the right thing to do, and always a wise thing to say.)
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To: Lucky9teen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0OZemx167I


94 posted on 08/02/2015 11:09:39 PM PDT by Catechuman
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To: blueunicorn6
A band that starts with a “B”?

Blind Faith

95 posted on 08/03/2015 6:25:36 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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