Posted on 07/25/2015 4:12:45 PM PDT by Lazamataz
Click for this very funny video"
I once met a lass so fine,
She was drunk on barley wine
I'd been to sea for months of three
I knew I could make her mine
But the lass was past consent
So it was off with her we went
And we threw her in bed and rested her head
And we left, 'cause that's what gentlemen do.
A woman has a right to a drink or two
Without worrying about what you will do
We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe"
'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo
There once was a girl from Leeds
Who I heard was good on her knees
So I docked my ship for an overnight trip
To take care of all of my deeds
She had piles of tales to tell
And my mass began to swell
So I riled her down and raised her down
And performed c********s for an hour or so
Always take care of your lady fair
'Cause they deserve as much attention down there
We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe"
'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo
I once had a woman so fair
Whose womb contained my heir
With a son by my side, the seas we'd ride
The child she would bear
But my girl, she was no fool
She was working her way through school
So I did support when she chose to abort
Because it's her body and therefore her choice
No, we don't say "booty" 'less we're talking about gold
We don't look at chests 'less it's treasure holds
With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on her hip
We will never say "she" when we're talking 'bout a ship
We don't say "bitch" and we don't say "whore"
'Cause that language leads to things like body dysmorphoria
There was a lady with a golden eye
And the doctor said she would die
So she emptied her purse to lift the curse
And prayed to stay alive
She awoke the very next day
Hand in her grave she lay
But the scariest part of the story from the start
Is I bet you assume the doctor was a man
Women are doctors too
And for a fraction of the dubloons
We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe"
'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo
There was a slut with [breasts] to here
And an [butt] that--
'Cause it's "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe"
'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo!
I teach in an urban high school, and their substitute teacher skit can really brighten my day!
Smart guys—
“The comedians say that by not making fun of certain groups, it implies that members of the group aren’t “capable of self-reflection” or “don’t possess the mental faculties to recognize the nuances of satire.”
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/key-peele-comedians-make-fun-of-everyone/article/2545867
In the Wallace Beery version of Treasure Island (1934), one of the last movies before the Motion Picture Production Code, they slipped in this little pirate gem:
Why, I know some seafaring men,
them as boarded a Spanish brig...
...all loaded down with
Castilian dons and their beauteous ladies.
And what did they do?
Genteel like me, ye thinks?
No. They slices them dons
like bread loaves...
...and feeds them to the sharks.
And what did they do
to the beauteous ladies?
Why, after courting their favor,
as it were...
...saving your presence, matey...
...they slits the veins
of their pearly white arms...
...and uses their blue blood
to warm their rum.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.