Posted on 04/23/2015 1:22:19 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
You probably saw the story yesterday that McDonald’s had yet another rough quarter, with sales down globally yet again. I didn’t think it was worth blogging again after reading this part, but please indulge me before we get to the good stuff:
Shares of the fast-food company were up almost 5 percent in early trading. At midday, they remained 3 percent higher at $97.70 as investors shrugged off declines in quarterly earnings and sales.
McDonald’s global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months fell a worse-than-expected 2.3 percent in the first quarter, and the company warned of another drop in April.
Net income tumbled 32.6 percent to $811.5 million, and revenue was down 11 percent at $5.96 billion.
No biggie — Wall Street had already priced in another bad quarter, but maintaining confidence that new CEO Steve Easterbrook is busy working on a turnaround plan.
That was certainly my position (I’m not a shareholder) on the matter. Easterbrook would, I assumed, pare down the menu, maybe improve the beef, and (please! please! please!) put the beef tallow back into their formerly world-class french fries. “Wait and see” seemed to be the prudent thing to do before blogging one more time about McDonald’s.
But I can tell you right now: McDonald’s is almost certainly doomed. Or at the very least, Easterbrook is the wrong guy to head up the burger chain — any burger chain, for that matter.
To understand why I’ve come to this conclusion, read the very next line from the story:
Easterbrook plans to unveil his plan for turning McDonald’s into a “modern, progressive burger company” on May 4.
Now maybe I should withhold judgement until I see this plan next week. Maybe a bold headline like “McDonald’s Is Doomed” is just the kind of baseless clickbait fear-mongering I try to resist indulging in.
But a progressive burger company? Really?
How about a barber shop with shampoo laced with Nair? No, that doesn’t seem like a good idea to you? Let’s talk about it at my bar, where I water down the scotch. No, you’d rather not? Well, that’s how I feel about a “modern, progressive burger company.”
A progressive burger chain is like a quiet rave, a smoke-free poker game, or a free & fair Chicago election.
A burger chain serves up the sandwich version of meat & potatoes — the very antithesis of “progressive” anything. A fast-food burger is supposed to be simple, hearty, wholesome, perhaps-not-entirely-healthy fare designed for families on a budget and on the go.
It’s not wraps. It’s not tofu. It’s not sprouts. It’s a burger and fries, ably prepared from decent ingredients at a price that encourages people to indulge. In short, it’s nothing of which Michelle Obama is ever going to approve — not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Easterbrook is misusing the word “progressive” just as badly as American “progressives” do every time they use it. But I doubt it, at least until Easterbrook’s plan is revealed.
But how “progressive” will his plan turn out to be?
This shouldn’t be rocket math. Progressivism has come to mean top-down, pre-engineered, overpriced, “we know what’s best for you,” nannystatism — which is not what I consider to be a fun meal with the kids.
A fun meal with the kids is decent, fast, inexpensive dining on American food. There’s nothing “progressive” about it. And any attempt to force that square peg into the round hole of our hungry mouths is doomed to failure.
Would it surprise you to learn that Easterbrook is a Brit?
Me, neither.
Meet you at Steak ‘n Shake?
I used to crave their Cherry Pies, which were usually available around Presidents Day in honor of George Washington. Haven’t seen or tasted one in several years. Still stop regularly for a large java. $1.06 around here. Can’t beat that with a stick.
Moron. He had to put “progressive” in there and instantly offend 40% of his potential client base.
Not that I eat at McD’s very often, but I eat at “progressive” restaurants a lot less, meaning never.
Hey, how is Five Guys Burgers? One JUST opened here and I have yet to try it.
If McDonald’s folds where are we going to find a public bathroom while traveling? But then again, if they do fold perhaps we won’t need as many bathrooms on the road....lol
I always figured Ronald was gay, but I suppose he will now have to be transgendered.
I’ve read that McDonald’s is so big it can move the world’s commodity market. So even without the crazed idea of becoming “progressive” the law of large numbers may be working against them.
For a traditional hamburger chain that is wildly successful, they should look at In-N-Out.
Maybe Ronald will come out as gay. That’s sure to save the company.
I was thinking about the 70’s when the inner city McDonald’s were growing. They made money then but after say 2000 everything went downhill.
McDonald’s makes the best tasting french fries of all the fast food companies.
5 guys is awesome. Pricy, but worth every penny.
I’ve stopped eating at Burger King entirely since they’ve gone gay
It wouldn’t be too hard to stop going to McDonalds.
There was a place here...near Imperial PA...about ten years ago that remade a 50’s diner venue. Played 50’s as well as adult standards. Hosted car cruises and dances. It was GREAT for folks like mrs p6 and me.
Lasted maybe two years. Eat n Park was ready to do a chain of similar diners but it fell through.
The economy just could support the investment.
Really as a recently forcibly retired from radio after 30 years guy I can understand. There aren’t many of us at the baby boomer age who want to go out, spend money, and hobble home.
The Window moved. Oh well...
No, I’m not. Microwaved hamburgers served slowly on styrofoam buns, with a side of tasteless but highly salted fries and a foo-foo shake are not what built McDonald’s. Relegating me to the value menu because you are promoting your “new chicken tomatoe [sic] lettace [sic] sandwich and a salad and coffee for 7 dollars” is not the way to get me in the door.
Bring 3 kids in, and the five of you won’t get out fast or filled, and the bill will run you sit-down diner amounts of cash.
The modern McDonalds is to fast food what the GOP-E is to conservatism. Clueless.
“Hey, how is Five Guys Burgers? One JUST opened here and I have yet to try it.”
I ate there a few times with a friend, who just loved it. Big orders of fries, above average burgers, prices pretty high. Overall pretty good, not fantastic.
A smaller chain came along called The Habit, and both my wife and I love it.
About 125 so far, mainly California but also in Arizona, Utah, New Jersey and Nevada so far. Like surprisingly several food joints, it started in the incubator of Santa Barbara in 1969.
“If McDonald’s folds where are we going to find a public bathroom while traveling?”
I suspect it will soon be a progressive, transgendered accommodating restroom. Your wife will use the restroom with a really ugly guy dressed as a chick.
Oh Noes....
My first real job was at a McDonald’s (the 2nd one in Maine I believe). In college I kept a New England McDonald’s map in the car.
My wife put me onto Five Guys. I’m naturally skeptical of overpraise, but she was right...they are great. And they give you more fries (great tasting as well) that you can handle. Worth the the extra money.
There was a shooting death at a McD’s here in Jacksonville last night that involved several sons of Obama. I don’t think they were competing for a job opening, though.
The last time I went into one—which was several years ago—I literally feared for my safety. Not only did the melanin-laden clientele glare at me, the melanin-laden person behing the register with the neck tattoo glared at me as well. I got a drink (self-serve) and got the heck out.
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