Posted on 01/09/2015 4:40:53 AM PST by Lucky9teen
I did.
Contast that ‘no’ list with the list from Team America:
America, F* Yeah! [Caution, rough language]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R5A0pg4oN8
In my inbox this morning:
A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco.
While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat.
It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?” Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman.
The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”.
As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.
A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.
Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay. Again, after a couple blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.
Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.
“Ahhh,” said the owner, “You come back for story?”
“No sir,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Muslim.”
TOP 30!
LMAO
Oops!
In the 18th century the arabs invented the condom using the lower part of a goat’s rectum.
In the 19th century the British improved the condom by first removing it from the goat.
I like cows,
They got the skinny feet.
Yeah, like their friends, the sha-ved sheep,
They got the skinny feet.
—The Suburbs, “Cows”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkZy4yChJkU
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”
The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”
The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”
The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”
Congratulations on your divorce. Now, stay single and live happily ever after. No joke.
IN! Finally...
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