Death of a spouse

billys kid | 12/25/14 | billys kid

[billys kid]

Death of a loved one I know it's late. However my husband passed away October 1st. And I'm not coping very well. He had just turned 56 in August. I miss him so very much. Any help would very much be appreciated.

[Uncle Miltie]

He would want you to live well and be happy.

Be good to yourself and others.

Find new things that make you happy, and do them.

Think of him with love and good cheer.

Life is for the living. Live it all now too.

G-d bless you.

[xp38]

You are not alone. There is wisdom in the replies you have gotten. When my mother passed away in 2006 I asked for prayers from fellow Freepers and they responded. I received great comfort from their replies here on FR. Many others here have also gotten blessings from our online community. I hope you receive the same.

[jennings2004]

John 9 - Blindness from birth that God might be glorified.

Job - Lost everything that God might be glorified by his patient persistence...Chapters 38 to the end are especially uplifting.

John 11 - Lazarus died and was raised by Jesus that God might be glorified.

Now, as a Freeper friend, I and others will hold you up before God in prayer that your faithful endurance during a time of great personal distress might bring glory to God!

[jennings2004]

Interesting...I graduated from MSU in 1959....

[Cvengr]

The good news for the believer is he’s been promoted is is now face to face with the Lord.

Even though we know this, we still are faced with that grief, which seems to wrap it’s fist around our heart and firmly jerk it without our control.

Funny thing about that grief....it’s the very same feeling God has every time we sin, or “miss the mark” of God’s Plan. It’s why He refers to sin as Grieving God the Holy Spirit.

The grief isn’t caused by our actions, but rather by a series of events beyond our control. God doesn’t violate our volition, but when we step away from faith in Him, by our own volition, which He is not controlling, it grieves the Holy Spirit in His work in us.

Likewise, in the death of our loved ones, even though we recognize they are probably in a better place, our hearts grieve because we no longer commune physically with them, beyond our control.

There is a time for grieving, and adversity. While Adversity is inevitable in life and in death, stress is optional, through faith in Christ.

Study His Word this Christmas, and let Him guide you through faith and the work of God the Holy Spirit indwelling you, and His Plan will unfold fruitfully.

[Northern Yankee]

May your day be one of support with loved ones around.

I pray that you gain strength in the passing days ahead. You show courage and strength through your notes of appreciation.

God Bless you!

[Shimmer1]

See? She knows.

I won’t exactly heal, but it will ease. Just not for a while. If you’d like to call me, I’m going to FReepmail you my phone number. We can talk about your wonderful memories!! Absolutely your choice. God bless.

[italianquaker]

Time heals but remember time takes time.
Sometime talking to a grief support groups help and make you feel like you are not alone

I wish you comfort

[Shimmer1]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3240727/posts

[Yosemitest]

Advice is hard to give when you don't know hardly any facts or background.
And it's not smart to give much personal information over the internet.
But that being said, many people say that you shouldn't make any major decisions until at least one years after the death of your loved one.
Be thankful it was't a divorce that separated you from him, and that you were together until the end.
At least you don't have to deal with all those questions, self analysis, and pain.

Now, depending on your health, your religion, the number of children you have, your financial situation, your greater family and friends, and your pets (all of your responsibilities); you might consider a long vacation to a different location, to really (deeply) think.
You're not too old to start again, and memories are good, but don't live a ghost of a life.
If you liked married life, you might consider trying another relationship.
But wait at least one year before you start looking.
We're not meant to live alone, but some of us do.

Read your Bible, because the answers are in there.

[Yosemitest]

Advice is hard to give when you don't know hardly any facts or background.
And it's not smart to give much personal information over the internet.
But that being said, many people say that you shouldn't make any major decisions until at least one years after the death of your loved one.
Be thankful it was't a divorce that separated you from him, and that you were together until the end.
At least you don't have to deal with all those questions, self analysis, and pain.

Now, depending on your health, your religion, the number of children you have, your financial situation, your greater family and friends, and your pets (all of your responsibilities); you might consider a long vacation to a different location, to really (deeply) think.
You're not too old to start again, and memories are good, but don't live a ghost of a life.
If you liked married life, you might consider trying another relationship.
But wait at least one year before you start looking.
We're not meant to live alone, but some of us do.

Read your Bible, because the answers are in there.

[tbw2]

Invite friends and family over so that the day or any day isn’t as lonely.
If no one is readily available, go to the nearby nursing home or VA to volunteer. When I took my kids to visit a relative, my kids chatted with a woman who took interest in them. She later said no one else visited her except for her birthday and mother’s day.

[trussell]

Prayer warrior ping. So much sadness...please, say some prayers for her comfort and peace.

God Bless

[left that other site]

I am praying for you, dear FRiend.

I went through this three years ago, and it is a struggle.

((((HUGS))))

[MomwithHope]

It IS a Merry Christmas for all today. I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you are not alone, always good to be with whatever family you have. My hubby got a sad diagnosis the week before Thanksgiving and I hope to make every day Christmas for him as long as we are together. Married 36 years. Love never dies and believe you will be together again someday. God Bless!

[metmom]

Know that people are praying and the God understands the pain better than we usually think He does. He suffered the death of a loved One, too.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

I’m so sorry for your loss - My advice is to tell those around you what you need - if it is a hug or to talk about your spouse. Others have no idea if talking about that person causes you pain or makes you feel comfort. Many offer help but don’t know what type to give - and of course there is a balance between asking too much of those around you and not asking enough, but I’ve seen both and almost always family and friends say they don’t know what they can do to help.

[Blue Collar Christian]

Say and type what you feel, your friends will listen and read. Best that friends are just there for you in your grief as you lean into it. They are sad with you.

[Bill Russell]

My family’s prayers are with you. You are hurting because you have had a major loss. It will get better, but you will have to mourn. It takes time. Today is perhaps the most painful of days to be separated from someone you loved, and still love so much. But it will get better. Just like any healing, it will hurt a little bit less each day, until one days you will start to feel “normal” again. — The depth of your pain is a measure of the depth of your love. Your husband was a very lucky guy to have someone miss him so much.

God Bless, Bill.

[ViLaLuz]

I lost mine 2003. Holidays are always hard, although it does get better after the first one. Pull close to Jesus and He will carry you through. That was the only way I made it. i’m sorry about your loss. Good bless you sister.