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To: Yaelle
There is a lot of unwanted sex at frat parties. My cousin was new to college and drinking, and had a bit too much, and was alone somewhere in the frat basement and someone had his way with her -— she was coerced but not forced, but it was definitely not wanted. She was naive and barely 18. Girls like that feel sickened and also guilty. They do take responsibility — they shouldn’t have been there, shouldn’t have been drinking. They don’t report it. But it’s still unwanted sex and might happen 100 times a semester.

Well, after the 100th episode that semester, maybe you should have had an intervention with your cousin.

More seriously, she "was coerced but not forced, but it was definitely not wanted" is very ambiguous. Keep in mind that the boys in question are ALSO "somewhat naive", and not mind readers (especially after a few drinks). To a teenage guy, there is a major difference between the girl saying "I'm not comfortable doing this" versus "No, I don't want to, I'm leaving" and her getting up and leaving. Statements like "I'm not comfortable" or "I'm not sure" are taken as invitations to continue making out until she goes along.

25 posted on 12/14/2014 8:34:09 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: PapaBear3625

I didn’t say it happened hundred of times with my cousin! ;)

But I agree. The guys are immature and excited and drunk, and it’s hard for them to feel the exact difference between being seductive and coercive.

So these things will happen. However, the original question was, is a girl,safe at a frat house party, a house based on partying and getting some. She would be safer just dating a guy she met on campus.


29 posted on 12/14/2014 10:17:49 AM PST by Yaelle
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