Posted on 12/05/2014 11:40:20 PM PST by UnwashedPeasant
Whether you try to hide it or not, you fart. Everybody does.
But even though it's such a routine activity — the average person farts between 10 and 20 times per day — there's a lot about farting that you might not know.
As part of research into the microbiome — the rich community of bacteria that live throughout your body — scientists have learned all sorts of interesting things about the bacteria that produce gas inside your intestines. Here are 9 crucial things to know about flatulence.
(Excerpt) Read more at vox.com ...
It’s pretty funny as social satire. Canadians (crytpo-Americans) laughing at stereotypes of plummy Brits and plucky Aussies.
Pfooot!
Sharts, yes.
In high school a bunch of us were over at a buddies house. One guy is asleep on the couch and another decides to fart in his face. So he drops his pants, lines up and oops, it’s a shart.
So the fight begins between one guy who is laughing uncontrollably and another who is crazy mad and laughing uncontrollably at the same time. Good times!
“Here I sit, broken-hearted.....”
I wonder if i can get a Federal grant to do a study.......
"Do cats fart?"...A study on feline flatulence and potential global warming impact
The guy that sharted.....did he take a Mulligan?
Grocery store dry dog food has as the first or second ingredient GROUND YELLOW CORN, which is a complex carbohydrate, difficult to digest, and responsible not only for the smell but the large pile of crap when your dog takes a poop. Next time you are in a Pet Smart store, look for the NUTRO dog food, read the ingredients label, then go to the SCIENCE DIET, PEDIGREE, PURINA, et al, bags and compare the ingredients listed in the INGREDIENTS label found on the back of the bag.
Not only do these foods have corn, they also have POLTURY/CHICKEN BYPRODUCTS as the protein source. BY PRODUCTS are the head, feet and guts of the poultry source - the stuff people do not eat.
Do a Google for “Pet food ingredients”.
rude rude rude!
but never heard a cat fart...>>>>That’s ‘acause they sneaky little turds. I swear my cat let one slide and the girlfriend said “ Did you shiite yourself?” I said “ No I ALWAYS smell like this at 6PM.”
Washing down an egg salad sub with a cold litre of apple cider in tandem with the air circulation in the computer room was a deadly combo back in the day...other employees swore up and down they could see a faint yellow cloud circling the room before it finally dissipated. People learned to duck...
I’ve been on this thread too long...glanced at your tagline and thought I saw ‘Fart Worth’ for a moment...
Now the reason I tell that story is because we used to pull the posts out of the woods with a team of mules. We went into a ravine and as the wagon was full of these posts, and very heavy, as we start up out of the ravine those two mules, pulling with all they had began to fart. It was not a 'little freep'. These farts were of the order of a repeating Henry rifle. With every breath and every strain of the mules came an audible proof of effort which could not be denied. That was about 54 years ago. God bless those mules.
There is an old saying, and now you know where if comes from....."Farting like a balking mule."
Years ago, underneath that poem, I saw this written in a different hand.
“But Nature gave you a second chance.
You stopped to fart, and sh!t your pants!”
I feel the same about my Golden girl. She really had the SBD’s at night sometimes. If it was really bad I would plug my nose with tissues. lol
But I would gladly put up with that just to have her still here with me.
My Father emigrated here from Lochgelly Fife, Scotland.
My Mother’s family was Scot/Irish/Danish/?.
But more to the point, I grew up in a true “melting pot” city.Our neighborhood contained Scots, Irish, Italian, German, Mexican, Polish, Greek. Serb/Croat, Macedonian, Jews and a smattering of Hillbillies. It was common for parents to struggle with English, but *none of the children did.* The Blacks lived across an invisible line two blocks to the South, and attended the same schools as we did. There was very little racial or ethnic tension.
The common reality of 20th Century industrial life was the bond and we all developed cross cultural tastes and most of us became conversant in multiple cultures.
Tonight I’ll be making roast lamb (in a style taught to me by an Armenian) along with “Stuffed Cabbage Soup.” Desert will come from the same bakery where I got yesterday’s spinach pie. It’ll be Galata Burekos.
But, one must consider your term "Prowess". I mean by that, were the hairs in your nose or other confined with you in that room of desolation,....were they singed? Did you take note of 'curling' effect of the hair appendage. Was there a lingering 'taste' on the wind?
But I digress. By prowess, one must weigh in the balance the savagery to olfaction versus the audibility of the thunder. We have all experienced the "SBD" (silent, but deadly) fart which seem to inflict an immediate torticollis of the neck by all who are innocent of the deed, but and EXAGGERTED torticollis by there perpetrator. He gives himself away almost every time. The man of letters, the Proud Man of Farts does not try to hide his accomplishment. This brings me to the, what I call, the penicle of flatal oral achievement, the "Walking Fart". As a young man, he has not yet experienced this, though his cock-sure demeanor would try to alert the world that he is in his farting prime. No, no, a thousand times no. For, if he lives long enough, he's will arrive at the walking fart stage of life. This is the eructation of a series of expulsions, intermittent, yet very much regular, like pulling a trigger until the magazine is empty. It is an actuarial physiological warning of impeding evacuation as the crippled, old man rushes toward the John Crapper to avoid household contamination and soilage. The walking farts are a built-in warning system for the elderly man. It is also an exercise stimulator for as the farts begin to come, he know, by experience, he must increase his rush toward porcelain containment, or pay a very high price.
So, Mr.Hoagy , i do not in any way diminish your stated effort and analysis of your prowess. I simply mean to give you ...... food for thought....that others have had different experiences and analytical assessment. It is a game of statistics. For there are lies, damn lies, and Walking Farts.
I have a 10 pound dashund that would clear a perimeter of ISIS fighters for 100 yards.
Have you tried probiotics? They come in capsule form or in yogurts. They work for many people.
Also, are you taking any prescription medication? Certain ones can cause flatulence.
LOL! A friend of mine used to call that "leaving a bunny in church"...
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