Posted on 02/26/2014 4:54:54 AM PST by TruthShallSetYouFree
another thing—ci think that once patterns are set, people react reflexively, they stop even hearing what they are saying or are not aware of how they are reacting. it takes pulling back and listening to yourself and your spouse and looking at your interaction, and then maybe talking about it to try to elicit some kind of change.
That is an interesting statement becuase I came so close to interrupting my old friend and asking if she realized how hurtful her comments were to her husband. I didn’t though because it is their business and obviously he does feel inferior because he isn’t helping them financially. It is a mute point now anyway because she retired early so they are living off of his SS and whatever they inherited from her evil republican parents.
When my husband and I first married I would tease him about a few things - and he finally told me he grew up with a Mother who would tell anyone, anywhere teasing things about the kids. He said it was humiliating and he didn’t like it. Joking is one thing, but when it crosses the line to something humiliating, or meant to be, he wasn’t going to have it in his life. Now this guy is not a weenie, as you know, so I quickly realized his childhood was not what mine had been. I have always appreciated him talking to me about it instead of letting it fester and become a problem.
it is good that he told you how he felt about it.
how the hell do you tease a Marine anyway? “Ha-ha - you needed BOTH hands to kill that guy!!!”
She caught him crying at the end of “Home Alone.”
The Siberian express returned in the wee hours here, too-it is 40, and raining off and on-bummer...
Revelations about the spying
On everyone here in the USA
By those who have no business
In our daily doings anyway
That are out in the open now
Thanks to Snowden’s flight
Shows that no one is incognito-
We all have a dog in the fight
For those who do this spying
The outlook may indeed be grim-
They point the finger at Snowden
But the traitor isn’t him...
I grew up around the same kind of thing and chose to do the opposite and I am happy. So is the boss. ;)
A+++
Neat-o incognito!
I was reading the posts about respect, and whyisa’s account of the woman who ragged on her husband in public, and was reminded of what a prof of mine said many times in class-he said that teasing like that was a form of contempt, and that the partner/person doing the “teasing” was often secretly angry and resentful, seeking to act on those feelings in a vicious, but socially acceptable way, and often lack confidence.
MrT5 was my best friend long before we ever dated, and that has unique difficulties, but neither of us ever, ever disrespected the other in public. My 1st husband and I didn’t do that, either, but I know women who trash their men in front of others-I try to avoid them if they are with their husbands...
Thank you!
yes it is very unfortunate. i met my friend last week, the one whose husband has leukemia and he has forbidden her to tell their daughters. She is understandably angry and upset with him, as well as worried about his health. it was good for her to unload to me about her feelings, and while i know it is definitely wearing on their marriage, i also know she would NEVER publicly abuse him. it’s funny too, bc she is as strong and outspoken as i am, and she said how it has been killing her to bite her tongue and not tear him a new one at home because of all of this, bc two of the girls are still at home. She has also said she doesn’t like modeling this behavior for her daughters, that they should know that if their husband is pulling some crap they should call him out on it. i think that’s something else that people do not commonly think about, how their behavior, in a marriage, is a model for their children. my other friend, with the mentally abusive husband, has also said that she doesn’t want her daughter thinking that taking this behavior from a husband is a good thing. I think there should be a lot more introspection and attention given to interpersonal relationships, at home especially, but everywhere really.
Well, that was a touching movie....;^)
Well done!
Exactly - it is contempt behind the layers of eye rolls and small laughs.
My cousin axed my advice re signing on to an Internet forum and I told him, “You’d better go incognito, Richie!”
Thank you!
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