Posted on 12/25/2013 6:17:05 PM PST by Bender2
(Excerpt) Read more at espn.go.com ...
The Cowboys are really below average when you take into account the horrendous division they're in and the soft schedule they've had as a result. Their victory against the Eagles earlier in the year is their only win against a team that has a winning record.
Soft schedule? About 6 or 7 of the teams Dallas has played are still in playoff contention.
left you someone nice under the tree...Cackalacky chiggerizes the Hawklets
Bangles drum the Ratbirds
Godlets plague the Texicans
Dolts stampede the Kittens
Tunasnappers down the Planes
Biqueens tame the Lyins
Midgets crawl all over the Dreadskins
Stealers turdburgle the Stains
The Spares squeak it out on the Fudgepackers
Crankhos snort all over the Gayders
Cheatriots snap the Brims
Taints on top of the Buggerers
Whiners wear out the Redjays
Cheaps short the Alternators
Squacks peck the Rams off the cliff
Cattlehumpers choke the Chickens
left you someone nice under the tree... Many thanks... 
dude--
But there is a set protocol... 
around here on naughty Christmas presents--
Get... 
in.. 
line.
Yeah, wait your turn... 
like the rest of us!
Sorry, my hands... 
are tied--
Twas the Sunday before Christmas, when all through the league,
The playoff picture was shifting at baffling speeds.
Ugly numbers were hung on opponents with care,
Embarrassing playoff hopeful teams, most notably Bears.
The Broncos were nestled all sung in their bye,
With visions of Meadowlands behind wishful eyes.
The last game in Candlestick features a young man named Kaep
Versus Falcons who’ve just settled in for a long winters nap.
When in the NFC North arose such a clatter,
All three Divisional hopefuls could not have played flatter.
Rogers with his clavicle, and Cutler McCown’ed
One of two backups could end up playoff bound.
Losing 58 to zero the last time in Seattle,
The Cardinals were faced to with a daunting division battle.
They handed The Twelfth Man their first home loss in the last 14 attempts
And some help from Carolina keeps the Cards on the fence.
Romo almost added to the legend of bad Decembers
But when you win on forth and goal that’s all anyone remembers.
Romo to Murray, the goal line did break the ball,
To set up next week with the Eagles, a winner take all.
In Arrowhead Stadium, the Chiefs seem to have stumbled
As Smith threw two picks and added a fumble.
The Colts won in a previewed of this playoff match up
And exposed some holes the Chiefs need to patch up.
In St. Louis, players donned jerseys thrown back
Quinn’s 18 leads the league after adding three sacks.
While in Jacksonville another game with no meaning was played
How meaningless you ask? To a veteran center a screen pass was made.
Bengals reach the playoffs each of Dalton’s three years,
But red hair and Green put Dalton at the butt of some jeers.
But one seed above, the Pats hurt the Ravens playoff hunt,
Blowing out the birds, with two TDs from Blount.
Santa is cold in the North, while things heat up in the South,
The Panthers came out and punched the Saints in the mouth.
Panthers make the playoffs for what seems like the first time since Nixon,
On a game winning pass from Newton to Hixon.
Now Chargers! Now Ravens! Now Steelers wait to see who still gets in,
Because Tannehill found the ground, every time Bills were blitzin’.
To the top of the wild card, one more week of football,
Til all but one’s hopes are dashed, dash away all.
He sprang into action, from the season’s first whistle,
51 touchdowns, controlling the ball like a heat seeking missile.
Manning was heard to exclaim, in reference to his numbers out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, before I tell the NFL good night!”
Ho, ho... 
ho!
The San Francisco 49ers became the third NFC team to secure a playoff spot with their win over the Falcons. Here’s what is at stake for them — and the rest of the teams in the postseason mix — in Week 17:
Seattle Seahawks (12-3)
• Would clinch NFC West and home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs with a win or tie, or San Francisco loss or tie.
Carolina Panthers (11-4)
• Would clinch NFC South and a first-round bye with a win or tie, or a New Orleans loss or tie.
• Would clinch home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs with a win, Seattle loss and San Francisco win.
Philadelphia Eagles (9-6)
• Would clinch NFC East and the No. 3 seed with a win or tie.
Chicago Bears (8-7)
• Would clinch NFC North and the No. 4 seed with a win or tie.
• Would clinch NFC North and the No. 3 seed with a win, and Dallas win or tie.
San Francisco 49ers (11-4)
• Would clinch NFC West and a first-round bye with a win and Seattle loss.
• Would clinch West and home-field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs with a win, Seattle loss, and Carolina loss or tie.
New Orleans Saints (10-5)
• Would clinch a playoff spot with a win or a loss by Arizona, or a tie and an Arizona loss or tie.
• Would clinch NFC South and a first-round bye with a win and Carolina loss.
Arizona Cardinals (10-5)
• Would clinch a playoff spot with a win or tie and New Orleans loss.
Dallas Cowboys (8-7)
• Would clinch NFC East and the No. 4 seed with a win.
• Would clinch NFC East and the No. 3 seed with a win and Chicago loss.
Green Bay Packers (7-7-1)
• Would clinch NFC North and the No. 4 seed with a win.
Gadzooks, big! We're sucking hind tit... 
again!
How cuteee that good Chrismas poem
I’d predict the score for my Titanomachy Losers versus the This Is The Best We Can Do Since The Oilers Left, but nobody really cares.
Why, Seven, wouldn't I be a cuteee... 
to Bendy?
Whoa, Dancella... 
Seven was speaking of Murphy Row's 'Sunday Before Christmas' poem above--
Oh-- My... bad--
Yes, you... 
are!
Someplace, somewhere on this cold, cold old earth, Allegra knows and like me... 
she really cares for the twin plights of the Old Earlers and new Texicans!
http://media.khou.com/images/Bum-Phillips.gif
One of these days, Mrs. Chandler will be walking by as I’m scrolling past one of your posts and I’ll have some splainin’ to do.
I love you man, but take me off your list.
So bender is this lady going be Mrs Bender in near future
Done
so little time--
Speaking of women.....did you see the response of Jane Cuntler when asked about the Return of Aaron Rodgers?
Classic!
Looking bored, Cuntler replied: “I play Offense. I’ll let Lance (Briggs) worry about that.”
Rodgers will be bringing Cobb and Lacy along for grins and giggles.
GO!! PACK!! GO!!
| AFC | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
| DEN | X | X | - | - | - | - |
| KC | - | - | - | - | X | - |
| PATS | X | X | X | X | - | - |
| CINCY | - | X | X | X | - | - |
| INDY | - | X | X | X | - | - |
| BALT, PITT, MIAMI, SD | - | - | - | - | - | X |
Another day at the office
I’ll take up the slack. Sign me up, thanks.
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