Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Fantastic Craigslist Jeep Posting
craigslist ^ | October 9, 2013 | jgpwh

Posted on 10/17/2013 5:28:12 PM PDT by condi2008

Here's the deal, kids: This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import....

(Excerpt) Read more at enid.craigslist.org ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Hobbies; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: jeep; liberallosers; realmen; usedcar
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
1 posted on 10/17/2013 5:28:12 PM PDT by condi2008
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: condi2008
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone? Ding! Except I don't want a smartphone.
2 posted on 10/17/2013 5:31:57 PM PDT by golux
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

Yes, I have a 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo ZJ. That is the kind that climbs over rocks.

I’m so tempting of fate, it has street cruising ties on it.


3 posted on 10/17/2013 5:33:49 PM PDT by SatinDoll (NATURAL BORN CITIZEN: BORN IN THE USA OF USA CITIZEN PARENTS)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: golux
"Except I don't want a smartphone"

I don't want an auto trans. either.

4 posted on 10/17/2013 5:41:29 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: condi2008
Best line...

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

5 posted on 10/17/2013 5:42:11 PM PDT by JediJones (The #1 Must-see Filibuster of the Year: TEXAS TED AND THE CONSERVATIVE CRUZ-ADE)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

“-Would this make a good car for my daughter? Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance. Additionally, there isn’t really enough room in the back for that little bastard she’s dating to try anything.”

Well...not entirely true. I did the deed back high school with my ex-GF’s Jeep Cherokee owned by her dad. If it folds down, yer’ good to go XD


6 posted on 10/17/2013 5:42:32 PM PDT by max americana (fired liberals in our company last election, and I laughed while they cried (true story))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

EPIC!


7 posted on 10/17/2013 5:43:52 PM PDT by bigbob (The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

Good machine, bad fuel mileage.
Mine never got over 15 mpg, despite efforts to improve.


8 posted on 10/17/2013 5:47:36 PM PDT by nascarnation (Frequently wrong but rarely in doubt....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

LOL


9 posted on 10/17/2013 5:47:47 PM PDT by Crim (Palin / West '16)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

ROTFLAMO!!!

If I lived back in OK I’d buy that POS. Would be perfect for fishing, caving, hiking, etc.

Being it’s in Enid it does bring back memories of this hotter I use to date from there.

Long drive from Tulsa to see a girl but, she was worth it.....
Til I got sick-O-her-Shiite....

She was babelicious but, spoke English...I guess. Sometimes couldn’t tell when she yelling 120 mph, with gusts up to 180...


10 posted on 10/17/2013 5:51:26 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway-Enjoy Yourself ala Louis Prima)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

Good ad; made me chuckle.

I’ve never owned a JEEP, but a friend of mine back stateside always told me if I ever got one, get the in-line 6. Very reliable engine.

He’s been a private auto mechanic for at least 25 years, and he’s worked on probably every kind of car there is, even Lamborghini. The only car he won’t work on: original VW Beetles. He hates ‘em, lol.


11 posted on 10/17/2013 5:57:14 PM PDT by AnAmericanAbroad (It's all bread and circuses for the future prey of the Morlocks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here’s the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It’s a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.

If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, “Hold my beer and watch this ...”?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, “I could hit that from here with the .22 ...”?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol’ lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?

If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don’t know, I’m not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it’s empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven’t fixed it.
-Driver’s side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn’t matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don’t want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven’t upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17” Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain’t happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter’s idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can’t justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What’s wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver’s side door cosmetic issues.
And it’s pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I’m not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I’m plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven’t had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6” lift and giant tires on it?
I don’t give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God’s sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn’t really enough room in the back for that little bastard she’s dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I’d drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier’s check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I’ll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don’t show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That’s great, I don’t give a shit. Unicef ain’t running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don’t HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I’d rather keep it.
But if it’s going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you’re an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.

WELL DONE!


12 posted on 10/17/2013 5:59:35 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jet Jaguar

If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


13 posted on 10/17/2013 6:01:56 PM PDT by condi2008
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: max americana

“Well...not entirely true. I did the deed back high school with my ex-GF’s Jeep Cherokee owned by her dad. If it folds down, yer’ good to go XD”

Heck, back in high school my GF had a 1981 Chevette.(new car)
The passenger seat DID lean back, so, yes we were good to go!


14 posted on 10/17/2013 6:02:17 PM PDT by 9422WMR (: " Tolerance is the virtue of a man who has no convictions".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

Hilarious!


15 posted on 10/17/2013 6:03:03 PM PDT by caver (Obama: Home of the Whopper)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nascarnation

I have an ‘01’ in black. 170k I get about 19-20 mpg on the freeway and 14-15 mpg. Thing is I can beat the crap out of it or try hyper milling and the mileage stays the same.


16 posted on 10/17/2013 6:03:52 PM PDT by Woodman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

This guy is a terrific writer, good enough that he’s probably a professional. I’d love to know who it is. Probably a Freeper, or should be.


17 posted on 10/17/2013 6:05:13 PM PDT by ottbmare (the OTTB mare, now a proud Marine Mom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paladin2
I don't want an auto trans. either.

I thought it was a reasonable sale until I saw that deal breaker.
18 posted on 10/17/2013 6:13:07 PM PDT by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the Occupation Media. No Blood For Ego!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Woodman

The part I loved was you could drive it like a sprint car in the snow in 2WD and then switch to 4WD after you slid off in the ditch to get back going.


19 posted on 10/17/2013 6:14:03 PM PDT by nascarnation (Frequently wrong but rarely in doubt....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

That was poetry. May he rest in the halls of Valhalla.


20 posted on 10/17/2013 6:15:12 PM PDT by dljordan (WhoVoltaire: "To find out who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008
I've owned two. They will do anything. I went with a friend on a 4-wheeling trip through Utah a couple decades ago - he in a CJ, hairy-chested macho purist who scoffed at my effeminate closed vehicle until the day near Moab - 115 in the shade only there wasn't any - when he climbed in for a trip into town and I introduced him to the concept of air conditioning. Next time I saw him he had a Land Rover.

Wimp.

21 posted on 10/17/2013 6:18:03 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: condi2008
The hell with the Jeep - I wanna have a few beers with the author of the ad! AND I'M BUYING! LOL


22 posted on 10/17/2013 6:21:28 PM PDT by Viking2002
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PA Engineer
My SO/wif has a Smartphone. It's great on a trip when I can't get to a Laptop/Desktop real copmputer with a useable Keyboard (for my fat fingers/thumbs) and a screen with best resolution (1024x768 in 1992 - 1920x1080 in 2013).

Plus I still like to be able to take things apart and get them to run after they are put back together.

23 posted on 10/17/2013 6:22:26 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Viking2002
Good point. Depth charges could be a plus.

Heck, let's just go 4-wheelin'. Then imbibe around a fire.

24 posted on 10/17/2013 6:24:06 PM PDT by Paladin2
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: nascarnation

I got 20+ all the time in the parents old one. It’s in the barn at my sisters place in KY collecting pigeon crap, but it still runs and has about the same mileage.

Now I want to go save it... This guy gets 2 stars on the man card. I hope he posts here...

True story, at about 30K my mom drove the then nearly brand new Jeep with the straight six UNTIL IT SIEZED UP! after it blew a hose. I was all “OMG MOM! There’s GAUGES for that stuff!!! They’re not DECORATIONS! Parents take it to dealer, they replaced the hose, refilled the coolant and changed the oil and it started back up like nothing happened and never used a drop of oil. That six has got to be one of the top 5 badest ass engines durability wise to ever roll off a line...


25 posted on 10/17/2013 6:24:35 PM PDT by Axenolith (Government blows, and that which governs least, blows least...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Paladin2
Hey, that's what I call parallel thinking! I'll bring the fishing gear, too!


26 posted on 10/17/2013 6:26:50 PM PDT by Viking2002
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: condi2008
Thanks for the laugh. I would have enjoyed it more if it was a Jeep Wrangler instead of a Cherokee. That ad reminds me of two hilarious songs by that strange country/folk/TV jingle artist from days gone by, C.W. McCall:

Four Wheel Drive

Classified

If you're ever down on life, just check the links above and listen to these tunes. The lyrics and delivery are genius. LOL.

27 posted on 10/17/2013 6:27:23 PM PDT by Alberta's Child ("I've never seen such a conclave of minstrels in my life.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nascarnation

Good machine, bad fuel mileage.
Mine never got over 15 mpg, despite efforts to improve.

That’s sad, I had a 1985 Grand Wagoneer that got 14 on the highway all day long, oh yeah until the engine caught fire and it burned down, mileage really sucked after that.


28 posted on 10/17/2013 6:30:43 PM PDT by Mastador1 (I'll take a bad dog over a good politician any day!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

My ‘95 Cherokee is sitting in the driveway with driver’s front on jacks. Need to replace the hub and can’t get the damn thing off. All the bolts are out and it’s frozen solid.


29 posted on 10/17/2013 6:35:20 PM PDT by VeniVidiVici (Play the 'Knockout Game' with someone owning a 9mm and you get what you deserve)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Alberta's Child

Thanks for the link—I’d never heard Four Wheel Drive, but Classified was a standard on the country station where I grew up.


30 posted on 10/17/2013 6:49:02 PM PDT by Hieronymus ( (It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. --G.K. Chesterton))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: JediJones

Love the trip reset button on the pic of the dashboard


31 posted on 10/17/2013 6:52:37 PM PDT by bamabound (teach them how to think, not what to think!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

LOL!!
Bookmarking.


32 posted on 10/17/2013 6:53:20 PM PDT by RandallFlagg (IRS = Internal Revenge Service)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AnAmericanAbroad
I’ve never owned a JEEP, but a friend of mine back stateside always told me if I ever got one, get the in-line 6. Very reliable engine.

He’s been a private auto mechanic for at least 25 years, and he’s worked on probably every kind of car there is, even Lamborghini. The only car he won’t work on: original VW Beetles. He hates ‘em, lol.

Kind of funny, but I own an older Jeep Wrangler with an in-line 6 and love it, but my first car was a late 1950s VW with a 36hp engine. Easiest car I ever worked on. Took the old engine out in my driveway by myself and replaced it with a later model 40hp engine using only a floor jack.

33 posted on 10/17/2013 6:57:02 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono (NRA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

I like this guy.


34 posted on 10/17/2013 7:06:48 PM PDT by backwoods-engineer (Blog: www.BackwoodsEngineer.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: VeniVidiVici

I drive my 65 CJ5 around the block sometimes. It feels like it is going to come apart at 45 it being geared so low but it is so much fun.

It only has a foot and change of pipe for exhaust so it is kind of loud for a 4 - 134. I’m sure it annoys the Stalins next door just by it sitting in the carport.

It was a craiglist find in SC near the NC line up above Spartanburg.

The passenger side locking hub appears to be frozen in “free”.

I also use it as a stock video subject as well when working on it which is why it takes me longer to do anything since I am (rusty/ancient) mechanic and camera jockey.

This is one I caught with the 100mm fixed macro that came about by accident. It isn’t much but it got accepted. No special effects. Just the lens and a 60D.

http://footage.shutterstock.com/clip-4860200-stock-footage-electricity-arcs-to-one-side-from-open-distributor-cap-connection-with-loose-wire-to-one-side.html?src=search/kmV4aeL55Uq5wsbxjpXj6w:2:30


35 posted on 10/17/2013 7:11:49 PM PDT by wally_bert (There are no winners in a game of losers. I'm Tommy Joyce, welcome to the Oriental Lounge.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: AnAmericanAbroad

-Why are you such a dick? Everything is relative; you should see my friends.-
Now that’s funny!

Had a ‘93 wrangler and a ‘97 cherokee, wish I still had them both. Little blue wrangler would climb a chain link fence if I asked it to, and come up asking ‘what’s next?’
CB Ch. 10 “Curb Jumper”


36 posted on 10/17/2013 7:16:59 PM PDT by enraged
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: enraged

Bookmark


37 posted on 10/17/2013 7:33:54 PM PDT by publius911 (Look for the Union label, then buy something else.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: max americana

Well...not entirely true. I did the deed back high school with my ex-GF’s Jeep Cherokee owned by her dad. If it folds down, yer’ good to go XD

I assure you that 35 years ago I Would Find A Way.


38 posted on 10/17/2013 7:41:59 PM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

He should copyright this. Awe-inspiring. My testosterone levels rose while reading it.


39 posted on 10/17/2013 7:42:58 PM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: VeniVidiVici

Need to replace the hub and can’t get the damn thing off. All the bolts are out and it’s frozen solid.

My $0.02 of advice: 50/50 mix of acetone and transmission fluid. Soak heavily over and over for a day, heat, then MANY short taps with a real metal hammer (while wearing safety glasses, I will show you the ophthalmologist’s bill) _while tension is on it with a puller_. It WILL come off.


40 posted on 10/17/2013 7:47:44 PM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: The Antiyuppie

ANSI approved safety glasses


41 posted on 10/17/2013 8:18:21 PM PDT by fulltlt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: nascarnation

It’s the only vehicle I’ve ever owned that drives better off road and in the snow than it does on dry pavement. On mine the A/C keeps crapping out, that’s starting to drive me nuts (I’m starting to show my age). Funny thing is I find myself looking for another one every once and a while.


42 posted on 10/18/2013 2:05:35 AM PDT by Woodman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: condi2008

This has to have been written by a FReeper Jeeper . ROFL!


43 posted on 10/18/2013 2:19:56 AM PDT by Pajamajan (Pray for our nation. Thank the Lord for everything you have. Don't wait. Do it today.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: VeniVidiVici
My ‘95 Cherokee is sitting in the driveway with driver’s front on jacks

Ya wanna sell that old fridge that's lying on your front lawn? :)

44 posted on 10/18/2013 2:43:59 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (a)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day; Tijeras_Slim

Epic craigslist ping


45 posted on 10/18/2013 4:39:38 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nascarnation

And FWIW, this is the second Jeep I’ve owned. It’s like a luxury SUV compared to my ‘46’ Willys CJ2A. That thing was a beast. My family bought it in 1966 for $150 with about 150,000 miles on it. The frame finally rotted out under the battery from acid dripping on it in about 1984. Sold it to my cousins husband who was a mechanic with over 300k. I don’t know what happened from there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was still on the road.


46 posted on 10/18/2013 5:39:12 PM PDT by Woodman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson