It should come down to what kind of wedding reception and where.
Backyard, church basement/hall, restaurant cheap/fancy, hotel/wedding factory, wedding venue, destination wedding.
Guests should try to at least cover the cost of “plate”, which could range from $40 to $150.
If one can’t afford the “fee”, then decline invitation and send the gift. Better way is to see how the wedding, venue, food and overall atmosphere goes and reward the newlyweds appropriately. Nowadays it is nice to see normal people getting married and they appreciate any generosity to help them start new life in this overtaxed reality.
Wedding is not just reception for the newlyweds, but occasion for close and distant family, friends to get together and celebrate the sanctity of marriage while enjoying the socializing at the wedding venue.
We were recently at perfect destination wedding at www.MVmanor.com (NY, NJ, PA corner) and enjoyed meeting family, witnessing happy occasion and rewarding newlyweds for their efforts to start the new family.
Whata difference from “cocktail and finger food reception wedding” in NYC. Some don’t even bother getting married, or......
I can't comprehend even this. A wedding is supposed to be a religious sacrament. It is the giving of solemn and sacred vows before the community and before God. It is not a party or an excuse to dun others for money. If you want to bring others who are close to you into your joy by extending them hospitality, that's fine, but don't expect them to compensate you for the mildly interesting spectacle of your wedding and reception. It's as appropriate to expect money at a wedding as it would be to expect people to pay you if you invite them to Thanksgiving dinner.
I usually give something I believe the new bride and groom would find beautiful and perhaps useful--perhaps an engraved silver bowl, julep cups, flatware pieces for their silver service, a Waterford vase or bowl, etc. They can take it back if they don't like it, but usually they do like and use it. of course, I try to attend only weddings of people I know well and they are usually well-reared young Southern ladies who will actually find a use for such gear.
How strange people are nowadays! Must be the advent of television reality shows or something so that everyone imagines she has to be a fairy princess for a day, no matter how much it costs and how far removed it is from reality. When you remove God from the center of the ceremony, you get this sort of greedy vulgarity.
Of course, one of the couples in this article is a lesbian pair who state that "weddings are for getting set up financially for the future," so what can you expect. I'm pretty sure they don't spend much time on their knees before the Lord anyway. Mistake #1: going to the wedding of people like that.
you are nuts
“guests should cover the plate” what complete bullsheet
I disagree - the bride can choose from a lavish wedding with very expensive food or a simple ceremony - but it shouldn’t be up to the guests to fund her vision of what her dream wedding should be. This is her party and her expense and those who attend give a gift because they want to, not because they are obligated to fund her dream day.