Skip to comments.Boy, 11, and his mother are arrested after he 'raped his 6-year-old sister'...
Posted on 03/12/2013 8:17:06 PM PDT by Morgana
click here to read article
It’s a discussion board. People post, other people discuss.
As horrendous as this is, sadly it’s not new - even at age 11. I hate to infer that it’s the “good side” of our permissive society, but the fact is that kids today ARE more apt to tell someone when assaults like this happen. In years past, inhibitions about sex and the stigma attached to an assault result in more girls (and boys, even more so) keeping the secret, and paying the price in the long run.
That does not even matter in my opinion. A preteen cannot naturally have any concept of adult sexual urges. Any actual flaws in an individual's personality will continue even after reaching majority age.
I worry much more about the stigma on young children of being branded as criminals for actions of which they can have no actual understanding. Discretely private counseling may have saved these children's futures but exposing this publicly will condemn them to institutionalized ruin.
I actually did find this in the Oklahoma News paper also.
“Explain to me how these disturbing posts serve some noble purpose.”
Gives Texans material for more Okie stories?
Other than that, I agree - there is no reason to wallow in the behavior of those who dwell in the shallow end of the acculturation pool.
Excuse me? I thought that this was a public forum. I am no-one’s “minion”. I’m betting you’ll be waiting a long time for an answer from her - just like it’ll be a long time before you ever get another answer from me. Get over yourself...
I’m thinking you may have wanted to address this to another poster? - at least the first portion?
I completely agree with the second part of your post. When I was growing up in an abusive household myself in the 70s no-one talked about this. It wasn’t until the late 80s that I learned in HS more about the stigma and long-term effects of abuse. And, I’m grateful that people no longer assume that every child who was abused grows up to continue that cycle - that was one of the most difficult things I had to overcome in discussing my own experiences.
As I posted above, this issue has affected my own children, but not through anyone in our family, and it was due to my education of my children about these issues that we found out immediately - I’m very grateful to say. My daughters are adults now, and doing well. (I do have their standing permission to discuss these issues in public, btw... Just for the record)
disgusting that Mom would want to pretend it never happened
I don’t think it should have been publicly reported with the names not censored. It’s a glaring abuse of privacy of the victim, imo - regardless that her mother as an adult was charged, and I’m assuming that it was through her publicly available records that the reporters got the information they used in the article(s).
As for the Sex Offender Registries. I know in Colorado that if one is charged as a juvenile the statutes allow for the child to petition the court to have mandatory reporting as a sexual offender removed after they have successfully completed sexual offense counseling, and have met their other probationary terms. I have mixed feelings on this, but the records would still be available to Law Enforcement if the person is ever suspected in a crime at any time in the future (if I understood the laws correctly).
In the case I am speaking of a 30 something married mother of 3 went to inner healing at her church and came out convinced her older brother raped her repeatedly when she was 5 and he 6. He continued this behaviour for a couple years then ignored her sexually. The girl now hates her brother and has cut herself off from her parents as well because they “let the abuse happen” to her and ruined her life. The parents are still married (40 years) and in love with their grandchildren who they have also been cut off from. They don’t know what to believe but feel their life is ruined as well.
I have been talking to the girl’s mother and have told her that my feeling is that the boy would not have stopped the behaviour if he was physically capable of it and would have felt empowered to continue it forever, and that we don’t know where these memories came from suddenly. There is such a thing as false memory.
Now I’m wondering if I am wrong in my thinking.
Slight correction - it should have been published without revealing the location of the home for which public records could easily be obtained thereby identifying the people involved. That’s if it should have been published at all. But, it was published, so that’s neither here nor there at this point.
I have heard of false memory syndrome, but I’m not a big believer of that. I don’t know about the church or the people involved in the “inner healing” counseling either.
It is possible that she is telling the truth. It’s also possible that her parents didn’t know it was going on, but that would be less likely, imo. Even if they didn’t know precisely what was going on, I would tend to think there may have been signs that a parent definitely could overlook.
As for being married for 40 years, I can’t count that personally as a reason to completely believe their claims over that of their daughter. So many things are screwy like that - particularly if there was/is some sort of abuse or dysfunction.
If I were in their shoes, I would believe my daughter over the son, but that is my opinion, and I don’t know what, if any, other behaviors the daughter may display now, or may have displayed in the past, y’know?
I will say that I had to cut my (adopted) father and sister out of my life completely due to the health, safety and well-being of myself and my family. I kept in touch with my mother and sister until my mother passed, but at that point other things came to light that gave me no alternative.
I’m sorry to hear you know a family that is dealing with so much pain in their lives. I’ll say a prayer for all of them... It’s a horrible thing to deal with, that’s for sure. I hope the daughter is at least seeing a reputable therapist now who will help her address her anger, and resentment, and come to accept the things she cannot change, and find her happiness again. A good therapist might possibly be able to tell if she’s been manipulated in any way. I don’t know if there’s a way to inquire about the people in the church, or those who ran the retreat, but perhaps it would be possible to discover if there have been any other similar circumstances that do not go along with statistical likelihood? It is important to keep in mind though that the statistics of female abuse victims is quite high these days.
Recovering memories of abuse in a woman’s 30s is not uncommon at all - particularly if she has a child that is right around the age that she was first abused. There is also the possibility that she has remembered all along, but just recently found the strength to tell.
Sorry so long... I’ll say a few prayers for you, too as I imagine it’s hard for you to deal with the situation seeing all the pain as well. If it truly did happen when both she and her brother were young I hope that there is some way they can work through things. Nothing is worse, imho, than a family torn apart... :(
“...a 30 something married mother of 3 went to inner healing at her church and came out convinced her older brother raped her repeatedly....”
I don’t know if you are privy to the specifics of the case ... but was it a case of the woman suddenly “remembering” what had gone on ... or had she always remembered, and the inner healing session finally empowered her to speak out? There’s a world of difference there. Many abuse victims keep their secrets for decades, but it does not mean they are lying, simply that they were so shamed that they could not bring themselves to speak out.
FWIW, I think it’s very possible that her story is true. It may be that as she herself got older, larger, and more angry about the situation, she did something, such as threatening to tell their parents, etc., that made the brother quit.
Wow, thank you for all your input. It does help me get a different perspective on what my sister and her family are all going through.
My sister did not work when the children were growing up and was a consistent (evangelical) Bible study leader etc. No one ever drank or even smoked. She cannot believe she wouldn’t have known something was wrong. However the father did idolize the son and try to live all his own childhood dreams through the son via sports etc. Boy could do no wrong but rebelled when older. The girl was so sweet and kind and smart and beautiful.
Only the two kids know for sure what happened but in the meantime a whole family is devastated.
I have been thinking that since it was in my eyes physically impossible for the boy to act this way that it was probably false memories but it looks like I could be very wrong.
Thanks again for all your time and imput.
to be honest...i have no clue
i have kids...3 boys...i think a 7 year old lad will only have what one might call a need to urinate ..er..firmness...whew
anyhow...i think it would be difficult
molestation and feeling up that sort of thing would be more likely than rape
i doubt any boy under mid puberty can technically rape
when i was a boy in the 60s...i knew of an 11 year old who had sex...
girls...i don’t know...i knew some who were having intercourse at 13...that is about the earliest i ever could verify
but some of those girls once they got started and liked it or enjoyed the attraction power it gave them...howver warped...cut quite a path..like...they shoulda locked em up in a convent maybe
i feel for their parents looking back
i was a late bloomer till an older married woman forced herself on me...despite my protestations..lol..bless her heart../s
it’s a strange world..i look back and wince sometimes
but today we mommy the stew out of kids...those who do actually parent yet our culture hypersexulaizes them
it’s a paradox
It is a paradox and thanks for your input.
I have been having trouble visualizing a child of the 70’s/80’s who could envision rape at 6/7 years old and corner his sister for years without the parents being aware.
Today I would hesitate more to think that envisioning rape or even sex was out of the question because hormones could be enhanced from modern diet. Schools are required to teach young children about sex and especially in one parent homes I would think the mother would have trouble paying attention to everything. Especially the TV with sex everywhere.
When I was 12 I slept in a truck cabin with my male cousin, my aunt and uncle and I was sure for a year afterwards that I was pregnant because I had slept with a man. I was afraid to confess my sin even! No one told me it could be otherwise. That’s how you got pregnant!
Our culture is so different now from then that it is almost incomprehensible.
I have 3 sons. My oldest will be 36 this year.
I will never forget how surprised I was when I realized infants have erections. There is no sexual aspect to it at that age, but little boys learn it is a particularly “sensitive” part of their bodies.
I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but a 7 yr old & 11 yr old doing these things suggests either poor parenting or the possibility they had been victimized
“Real gentlemen don’t engage in viewing pornography.”
Not everyone that raises kids is a ‘real gentleman’. And that was true in the past too, when 15 year olds would try to buy some of this garbage - not much luck.
I don’t think the name “Gentlemen’s Club” is intended to be an accurate assessment of the patrons.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.