Queen Elizabeth's hand washer dies

M&C.com ^ | Sep 24, 2012

[Daffynition]

Britain's Queen Elizabeth's hand washer has died.

Peter Houison Craufurd - who held the title Washer of the Sovereign's Hands - performed the role when the 86-year-old monarch was in residence at the Palace of Holyroodhouse, but he passed away last week aged 82, the Daily Telegraph newspaper reports.

Speaking in an interview prior to his death, he said: 'We used to have to write to Buckingham Palace to offer to wash the monarch's hands every time they were in residence at the Palace of Holyroodhouse.

[Daffynition]

Now there's a heck of a job opening...if you're willing to relocate....but you'll have to fight the nepotism.

[Private_Sector_Does_It_Better]

Mine hand washer is doing fine... Just in case anyone was wondering.

[smokingfrog]

R.I.P.

It’s getting really difficult to find a good hand washer these days.

[Revolting cat!]

Where do I apply? (Special rights with the NOT GUILTY princesses as benefits?)

[berdie]

The Won will be so darned jealous he doesn’t have a hand washer.

I think I’ll be on the look out for a new “hand washer” czar.

[FredZarguna]

Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock, and the rest of the Continental Congress wrote George III a letter washing their hands of the the Monarchy a long time ago...

[Revolting cat!]

[Dysart]

It is also being reported the hair washer for Debbie Washherhair Shultz has filed a complaint with OSHA over unsafe working conditions.

[GeronL]

lol

[Uncle Slayton]

With the economic downturn, I no longer can afford to employ a handwasher at my castle estate in the countryside.

I’m sure many other Americans have suffered the same plight.

[Daffynition]

The Royals. It's amazing how they are just like us.

[Revolting cat!]

At my company all the handwasher jobs have been outsourced to Bangalore.

[FredZarguna]

The ad placement is hilarious.

"Hey, been hand-washing? Please consider an automatic washer ..." I guess.

[Revolting cat!]

[FredZarguna]

Unless you also have no joints in your right arm, I'm guessing you have a great deal less in common with Prince “Tentacles” Philip than you think. [That picture is quite inexplicable otherwise...]

[Daffynition]

>>It is also being reported the hair washer for Debbie Washherhair Shultz has filed a complaint with OSHA over unsafe working conditions.<<

THAT is funny Dysart! HAHAHA!

[redhead]

THAT is a hilarious photo!!

[Daffynition]

Why does Monica come to mind?

[South40]

First her two dogs died and now her hand washer?!

Poor thing.

[wastedyears]

That design actually isn’t a bad idea.

[Revolting cat!]

It apparently recycles the stuff!

[MinuteGal]

Why does that photo remind me of the Mad Scene photo from Liza Minelli's wedding?

I hope someone posts it here.

Leni

[wastedyears]

They certainly wouldn’t be able to do that. Probably uses an IR sensor that shuts it off like all the other automatic toilets. I’m surprised it took so long for this to be developed considering we already have IR technology and automatic flushing toilets.

[Daffynition]

I surprised no one asked what a *ewer* is.

Or how this tityle came to be:

Houison Craufurd, who was the 28th laird of Craufurdland Castle, in Ayrshire, held the title because one of his ancestors chased off a pair of murderous thugs attacking James V. In return, the king gave him a farm, on the condition that his family be ready with water and towels to wash the monarch’s hands.

“The ceremony, or the washing, requires three people. I washed George VI’s hands at Holyrood when I was eight.” He washed the Queen’s hands a year after her coronation.

It is understood that his eldest son, Alex Houison Craufurd, will inherit the title.

[Revolting cat!]

[Daffynition]

The thought of where Hussein's might have been...sends chills. Inn that case, I'd opt for a commercial grade power washer.

[DeFault User]

I'm pleased to report that Prince Philip's hand washing attendant is still on the job and hopping to go.

[Boogieman]

‘More recently, we have been told by the queen’s office that, as we have already washed her hands once, that is all she requires us to do. So now we have to wait until Prince Charles takes the throne before we do it again.’

---

Sounds like the Queen takes a pretty sensible stance on this tradition.

[Michael.SF.]

So this guy spent his whole career in a hand job?

[FredZarguna]

My ancestors are Scotts.

In the Highlands, a "Ewer" is someone who isn't discussed at family gatherings.

[Daffynition]

Then it's probably no mistake that the castle is called Hollyrood House.

Wonder if she had *Royal Hand Washers* for each palace?

[Daffynition]

Like the *black ewer* of the family?

[Daffynition]

[Snickering Hound]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stole

There were worse jobs. Up to about a century ago, there was a position in the Royal Household to wipe the King/Queen’s...well, you know...

[Revolting cat!]

[Daffynition]

[FredZarguna]

This is a common misconception on the Internet. Your picture is not of Debbie “Blabbermouth” Schultz, but of her twisted sister, Sergeant “Shriver” Schultz.

[Daffynition]

You must be kidding, right?

[FredZarguna]

So this guy spent his whole career in a hand job?

At least he isn't the guy who has to blow them dry.

[Daffynition]

[FredZarguna]

Check the tagline on that post.

[Daffynition]

[Revolting cat!]

[FredZarguna]

Then it's probably no mistake that the castle is called Hollyrood House.

Are Brit papers even outsourcing their copy to China now? Maybe a local editor cleaned up the original Horrylood a tad.

[Daffynition]

Gives meaning to...

[Michael.SF.]

LOL

[Stormdog]

“So this guy spent his whole career in a hand job?”

Yeah, but it did have a happy ending.

[Revolting cat!]

[Daffynition]

Wait a mo....

[Daffynition]

Always the clymer. It never reigns but it pours.