Posted on 08/03/2012 6:02:56 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
That must be British, because “humor” is spelled “humour.”
Keeps stopping after 20 seconds
Sin ... zed ... pie.
LoL!
I was at Walmart, buying a bag of Purina Dog Chow for my dog, in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, right?
So on impulse, I told her that I didn’t have a dog, but I was starting the Purina Diet again and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no.
I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me.
DANG, she’s got long arms! *shudder*
SMGNEZ
MELMS
PTTABENIS
Must work differently with dyslexics :p
Run
Got
Yen
?
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that...
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do..
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. — Ricky, age 10
Prince Philip to Michelle: Obama looked better in that white dress.
That one is kind of subtle, a lot of people don’t get it until they look at it closely.
Love
Experience
Honesty
Bammie look like his daddy in that Stanley Ann/Paul photo!
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