Posted on 07/31/2012 5:07:35 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot
A new study suggests thatno matter how platonic you imagine a relationship may beevery man you know but arent related to is trying to sleep with you. And whats worse, they think youre trying to sleep with them right back.
Yes, really.
....
And while this unique insight into the male brain is troubling for male-female friendships around the worldincluding your insistence that you stay friends with all of your exesthe findings are much more disturbing when put into the context of the workplace. What about the platonic relationships you have with your male colleagues? Do male supervisors believe their female subordinates are in love with them? How does that shape corporate culture, the assessment of female employees and womens advancement in the office?
(Excerpt) Read more at forbes.com ...
LOL! I can understand that. Admittedly, I’m not in the mainstream of socialization, but it seems to me that exchanging friendly text messages takes an association out of “working together politely” and into “personal interaction with room for development.”
I have an age-related aversion to using abbreviations, even when texting, although I’ve assimilated “K” and “pls.” The only people I text are my husband and my hairdresser, and my preferred colloquial signoff (if we’re going to meet) is “Seeya!”
You’ve got that right!
She’s spending the week with my dad and my brother, with some visiting with my aunt. This is the first time she is spending any time with any of my family on her own. heck, she only met my brother for the very first time 2 weeks ago, when we all showed up in Florida to surprise my dad on his 75th birthday.
Well, true. We didn’t find all these children on the doorstep ...
I think want to or think about is way more accurate than trying to.
My perspective, having been in the workforce um ... "a number" years in several different companies is this ladies. In any good sized work environment:
All this leaves just a couple of guys who have actually checked you out and thought, yeah, if I ever get a chance... But all/most as the original author suggests? HA! I also imagine it is just about exactly the same for the ladies regarding us guys.
No, I think you’re missing the sex-specific cues sent in such ‘teasing’: women more likely with their being physically attractive and men by being financially successful and in a position of power.
I don’t have that issue at all — I just don’t text. I hate my touch screen phone and thus just don’t do it!
This is a public plea:
PLEASE one Helen Thomas photo a day is PLENTY! No More!!! Nobody sane can take it any more.
Any fugly feminist mug would have made your point, but HT tops the cake.
Click through to the abstract of the study and it doesn’t appear to make the claims in the article at all.
Twenty-something men are sexually attracted to more women than the opposite. That’s surely not a shock, but it’s a long way from every man thinks every woman in the workplace wants to get it on with him.
Brother, you are giving women *waaaaay* too much credit. I didn't figure it out until I was 26. I was happily married and working in a male-dominated job. One by one, all but two of the guys I worked with made a pass at me at one point or another.
I was truly shocked and horrified. I honestly did not see it coming. My husband had warned me and I didn't believe him.
The way female friends interact with each other (hugging, doing nice things for one another, intense personal conversations) was natural for me. When I started making friends with the guys, I treated them the way I would a good female friend. I NEVER thought that these idiots would see it as flirting. (Alright - *I* was the idiot.) They knew I was happily married. I thought that my ring was all the clarity that I needed.
My daughter is 20 and just now starting to figure it out. (Her dad and I have beat her over the head with this reality since she was 14... 'he wants to have sex with you'...)
No. Young women are pretty oblivious. And that can go on for much longer than it should because she doesn't *want* it to be true. Who wants to lose a good friend? So even when the reality starts to set it, she'll push it away for as long as she can because friendship means so much to her.

Nah, only the hootchie mamas who wear micro miniskirts to the office think that.
I call BS. Sounds like a bunch of hard core feminists, who no man would ever desire, did this study. If there was any truth to this, there would be many more affairs and sleazy behavior at work than we see.
There’s a difference between harboring thoughts vs. acting thereon.
This article is an insight into the minds of the gullible.
Yes, of course, every many is checking out the old women, the fat women, the women lacking teeth, etc. And, of course, he thinks every granny that looks at him wants to sleep with him.
This is journalism by the stupid for the stupid based on social “science” by people with an agenda.
Ha ha—good find!
*guffaw*
Followup studies will discover the location of bear defecation and the religion of His Holiness Benedict XVI.
I really want to sleep with the 5’-2” 250# ‘ers that waddle around my workplace.
google Narcissistic personality disorder...
spent the worst 7 years with one....
they love to have many conquests and they have a high need to be told they are wonderful..
very controlling ..
most politicians fall under this classification
“In my opinion and experience, women in the workplace are every bit as likely as men to make assumptions about the interest of co-workers in them.”
I think this is closer to the truth of the matter. Studies are worthless.
I don’t know what else you call 20 and 30 year olds who have not emerged from their parents basements. Adult just doesn’t seem to fit.
I think a woman offering to pay for things is most often an intentional indicator of not being romantically interested—and so not becoming indebted or open to accusations of leading a man on.
No problem here that can’t be solved by a few new Federal agencies and a hundred thousand pages regulations.
I have worked with and for women over the years. Perhaps one or two might have had some interest in me. I will admit to having found one or two attractive, but never acted on that because I’m quite married, as well as simple self-preservation at work - meaning not wanting to make the workplace hostile for myself because of my own actions.
Perhaps they only conducted the survey at Peyton Place? LOL
The way female friends interact with each other (hugging, doing nice things for one another, intense personal conversations) was natural for me. When I started making friends with the guys, I treated them the way I would a good female friend. I NEVER thought that these idiots would see it as flirting. (Alright - *I* was the idiot.) They knew I was happily married. I thought that my ring was all the clarity that I needed.
“Men are pigs.”
Not just men. I can’t repeat here the things I’ve heard come out of the mouths of some women, not to mention actions.
The only thing that holds me back:
1. I have a GF who I love...so won't even consider it
2. Afraid of getting caught and losing my job. A upper level manager was caught with a female co worker last year..both in their 50's and both were canned. I know there have been other romances started at work and progress into full time relationships among my coworkers.
Women and men CANNOT be close friends w/o the male in the back of his head wanting to get in her pants if she is remotely attractive.
All 3 of my long term gf's started out as good friends and turned into more...never have I progressed into a relationship from a date with a stranger. Men and women together as very close friends will always lead to love or a disapointment with one of them.
I think a woman offering to pay for things is most often an intentional indicator of not being romantically interestedand so not becoming indebted or open to accusations of leading a man on.
Absolute nonsense. A pretty girl is a pretty girl, and a fat chick is a fat chick. Most female co-workers I had were not pretty girls...
I suspect the feeling (or lack thereof) was mostly mutual.
“...I treated them the way I would a good female friend...”
That one rings a bell with me. I’ve been treated that way, and I’ve recognized it as such, although it was a little startling when I first experienced it in my younger days.
Wrong. Not even remotely tempted. Have the greatest hubby in the world and would never want anything else. This “study” is just another proof of the sad state of morality and self control in our culture.
Wrong. Not even remotely tempted. Have the greatest hubby in the world and would never want anything else. This “study” is just another proof of the sad state of morality and self control in our culture.
Yeah. This article looks like liberal projection. "I can't control myself, so obviously no one else can.", or somesuch rationalization.
I work with women every day. No sex. Frankly, it really doesn't ever cross my mind. The only time I mention it to my wife is when something might look improper - for instance, I'm meeting a (female) potential client for lunch this week. I've no idea what she's like or what she looks like (only talked on the phone), but I don't want Mrs WBill to even get a sniff of a wrong idea.
And does anyone other than me have a problem with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as emerging adults?
Nah, I don't like it either. Gives you some insight as to the mentality of the writer of this piece.
If you think SS wearing pantsuits is Yuk, imagine her wearing skirts.
No, thanks.
I have to push the number keys to text, but it’s the best way to quickly communicate with my husband (”Get milk, bananas pls.”) because he doesn’t answer his phone or listen to his voice mails, so any attempt to talk to him on the phone ends up being tag.
I’m shocked!
I thought it was just me!;-)
Nope. Sorry. You are not the only one she wants to sleep with.
This^ ^ . I lived with my sister and her 2 female roommates for 8 weeks(long story). My mind was blown what one of her roomates did through actions..never looked at women the same way. It was a mind opener that women are just as piggish as men maybe more but they have slightly more self control..well not this roommate lol.
.I wish I could post the pics.
Ha! I remember having that conversation with my daughter when she was about that age. She looked at me incredulously and said, “you mean all those guys want to go out with me?” I laughed and said, “oh no Honey, they don’t want to DATE you....”. She told me I was wrong and didn’t understand, blah, blah, blah, they’re just friends. She still refused to believe even when her father agreed and said he’d once been a teenage boy and knows how they think.
I know some men that I think are handsome and/or charming. There’s a particular guitarist that my whole choir (married women between 40 and 70) sighs over when he’s at our church. However, I’m not interested in sex with any of them. It’s nice that their wives have a good-looking husband. (I have one, too!)
Maybe that’s a difference between men and women ... or maybe it’s just a difference between me and some of the men whose posts I read here.
no worries ladies... if you’re a liberal, not only do i not want to sleep with you... i find you repugnant and disease ridden who is wholly unable to be trusted and willing to abort any child without informing the father
liberals
disgust
me
Someone did (your husband?) and recently. How do you figure pregnancy does not conjure sexual fantasy?
I don't have to cringe like that, because I wear skirts that reach my ankles. One can be so much more relaxed and confident when not worried that everyone can see one's undies.
Not simply to maintain equal reciprocality?
That is new to me. On the surface I’d say it’s the opposite of suggestive—it’s a one-up sort of thing that would seem to take traditional male-female romantic relations completely out of the picture.
You missed the direction, too: I was pointing out that it was logically improbable that *I* am interested in sex with *random non-husband man*, not the other way around. And younger men ... get real, what a bore.
There is a nice, older man from Puerto Rico who flatters me because I remind him of his late mother, but that’s hardly the stuff of a steamy affair.
Yes, I do! It appears to be a trend in that the age of indisputable adulthood has increased consistently over the years. We can read about 12 year olds leaving their homes and becoming apprentices and cabin boys and the like in the 1800s. The "Child Labor Laws" addressed a very real problem that was common to all the Industrial Revolution societies.
Now, we have laws on the books that can be interpreted as extending a form of childhood to age 26 (obamacare insurance coverage). We have the apocryphal stories about the 'professional students' who delay graduation as far as is possible. We have the permanent 'protest movement' which appears to consist of these ages we are discussing who's salient feature appears to be "no adult employment" (or desire for any).
Our society is far more flexible than ever before but can it take 25%+ minority youth unemployment? Can we expect entry-level learning jobs to be made available when our lawmakers seek to raise "minimum wage" to $10/hour? Can you be an adult, emerging or otherwise, without making a living on your own?
Just don’t assume that women know what they’re doing. In my situation, I really didn’t see these guys as guys.
I finally woke up (to my horror and my husbands smirks of ‘I told you so’) and have lived with my ‘rules’ for 16 years. I never touch a non-related male unless I’m pulling him from a fire. I am never alone with a non-related male. If a situation comes up where I *must* be alone with a non-related male (repair man), my husband is aware of the situation and I never allow him to get closer than 6 feet. I’m not a b*tch about it, but I keep the lines very clear. I don’t trust ANY male.
The attitude that ‘women know what they’re doing’ is a dangerous one. I can see how men could come to resent women and - possibly even come to hate them - if they believed that.
It is just as difficult for a woman to see things from a male’s perspective as it is for a man to see things from a woman’s. You think that, because such behaviors have a sexual context for you, that it must be the same for her.
Guys and girls *are* different and sometimes the male brain is friggin’ alien to us.
And yes, there are plenty of manipulative brats out there who do tease men. But it takes so little to ‘tease’ a guy! You really do have to go to extreme lengths NOT to.
About 10 years ago my husband and I were friends with another couple. We would get together and play hearts. One night, I had gotten up for a beer and went to sit back down at the table. The idiot had his legs spread out under the table and I accidentally kicked his foot when I went to sit down. I said sorry and he pulled his leg back.
His wife told me that he went off in the car on the way home about me ‘playing footsie’ with him under the table. She was there. She remembered the situation and she defended me. And that wasn’t the only time that he did that.
His BS did end up ruining my friendship with his wife. It placed doubts in her mind and she eventually stopped trusting me. Even though I was NEVER alone with him, she started wondering if I was trying to seduce her husband.
When we first became friends, she told me that she had never had a female friendship last before because ALL of her friends ended up hitting on her husband. Now I see where she got that from.
People who think “only” men are pigs are fooling themselves. Being intentionally vague, I worked in a select industry for many years which involved many celebs and one that especially involved travel and stays at hotels. When a male is young and rich, for some reason, women do anything, and I mean anything, to latch onto that person. These women weren’t just the groupie types, I am specifying support staff of the same or similar employers. Women are generally more demure about these methods while men are usually more open; however, I have seen plenty of so-called “victims” who not only initiated but also completed their tasks only to regret it when they realize they aren’t that special.
I was once a manager in an industry where the workforce was 85% female, and I must say I never suffered from this delusion (though I did meet my wife there)
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