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Ladies, every man you work with thinks you want to sleep with him
Forbes ^ | 7-26-2012 | Meghan Casserly

Posted on 07/31/2012 5:07:35 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot

A new study suggests that—no matter how platonic you imagine a relationship may be—every man you know but aren’t related to is trying to sleep with you. And what’s worse, they think you’re trying to sleep with them right back.

Yes, really.

....

And while this unique insight into the male brain is troubling for male-female friendships around the world—including your insistence that you “stay friends” with all of your exes—the findings are much more disturbing when put into the context of the workplace. What about the platonic relationships you have with your male colleagues? Do male supervisors believe their female subordinates are in love with them? How does that shape corporate culture, the assessment of female employees and women’s advancement in the office?

(Excerpt) Read more at forbes.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: anotherstudy; feminism; genderwars; napl; psychology; savethemales; sexism; workplace
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Scientific American reported

Attraction between Friends of Opposite Sexes

from a social sciense study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

1 posted on 07/31/2012 5:07:43 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot
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To: Sir Napsalot
Ladies, every man you work with thinks you want to sleep with him

I'm shocked!

I thought it was just me!;-)

2 posted on 07/31/2012 5:10:19 AM PDT by RoosterRedux (Obama: "If you've got a business -- you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen.")
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To: Sir Napsalot
this unique insight into the male brain

More like an insight into the brain of men who lack self-control - or what used to be called "incontinent".
3 posted on 07/31/2012 5:16:59 AM PDT by LearsFool ("Thou shouldst not have been old, till thou hadst been wise.")
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To: Sir Napsalot

I have worked with all types of women over the years...believe me the ones that look like Ohio State linebackers I do not want to sleep with...


4 posted on 07/31/2012 5:19:03 AM PDT by Popman (In a place you only dream of Where your soul is always free)
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To: Sir Napsalot

I never thought that about women I worked with, and at my age, I doubt any woman wants to sleep with me. I admit to working with some women who I would have liked to sleep with.

I don’t think I’m that different from the rest of the male population. This study must be crap. Was it taxpayer funded?


5 posted on 07/31/2012 5:19:03 AM PDT by Daveinyork
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To: Sir Napsalot
Meghan Casserly is projecting again.
6 posted on 07/31/2012 5:19:22 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it, and the Constitution and law mean what WE say.)
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To: Sir Napsalot

This is outrageous!!! How dare they spill the beans and release high security information like that. Traitors.


7 posted on 07/31/2012 5:20:17 AM PDT by BipolarBob
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To: Sir Napsalot

Very interesting. That certainly never occurred to me when I was employed.

Without reading the details of the original study, I wonder if the researchers made a distinction between “opposite sex friends” and “polite working relationship.” One need not be “friends” with coworkers of either sex in order to work together in a civilized way. I have polite working relationships with men in Scouts and church ministry ... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.

And does anyone other than me have a problem with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as “emerging adults”?


8 posted on 07/31/2012 5:21:29 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: RoosterRedux
They probably spent a boatload on this research
9 posted on 07/31/2012 5:23:44 AM PDT by WomBom ("I read Free Republic for the pictures")
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To: Sir Napsalot

Look at the way business women dress, relative to the way business men dress. Although they may not want to sleep with them, it is clear that women see an advantage to teasing men in the workplace.


10 posted on 07/31/2012 5:25:30 AM PDT by Born to Conserve
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To: BipolarBob
Yeah, breaching the sacred Men Rules.
11 posted on 07/31/2012 5:26:44 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: Sir Napsalot
Just another angle on the feminist angle that ‘all men are potential rapists’. In my opinion and experience, women in the workplace are every bit as likely as men to make assumptions about the interest of co-workers in them.
12 posted on 07/31/2012 5:26:44 AM PDT by pieceofthepuzzle
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To: Sir Napsalot
Forty+ years ago psychologists were saying the same thing:

“There is NO such thing as a platonic relationship between a man and woman.”

That's not sexism; both men and women succumb; in every such “friendship,” one or both will eventually harbor romantic thoughts...

13 posted on 07/31/2012 5:26:48 AM PDT by ROLF of the HILL COUNTRY
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To: Sir Napsalot
#1 sciense

science

14 posted on 07/31/2012 5:30:12 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: Sir Napsalot

15 posted on 07/31/2012 5:33:23 AM PDT by ari-freedom
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To: Sir Napsalot

A new study (and several older studies) suggest that.....ONE study proves nothing.


16 posted on 07/31/2012 5:33:43 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. - Modified Descartes)
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To: Tax-chick
Very interesting. That certainly never occurred to me when I was employed.

So......it has no effect on the unemployed? :-)

17 posted on 07/31/2012 5:36:43 AM PDT by showme_the_Glory (ILLEGAL: prohibited by law. ALIEN: Owing political allegiance to another country or government)
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To: Born to Conserve

Your “business women” link no worky. But I’ve heard for forty years that “slit skirts & miniskirts don’t belong in the workplace, and a woman who wears either won’t be taken seriously”.

So why do professional women go right on wearing them, and getting promoted? Now don’t tell me, let me guess.

At least women have quit wearing pantsuits. Yuk. With one notorious exception, our Secretary of State, who not for nothing is known to her bodyguards as the “Flying Buttress”.

;^)


18 posted on 07/31/2012 5:38:31 AM PDT by elcid1970 (Nuke Mecca now. Death to Islam means freedom for all mankind. Deus vult!)
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To: Sir Napsalot

Lots of women flatter themselves with such thoughts.Truth is most are not desirable.


19 posted on 07/31/2012 5:41:49 AM PDT by Islander7 (There is no septic system so vile, so filthy, the left won't drink from to further their agenda)
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To: Sir Napsalot

A couple of thoughts here (as a man who has been around):

1. Its true that a [straight] man will imagine what its like to have sexual relations with a female co-worker if she is halfway decent looking and/or nice. For the most part, this is just an involuntary, fleeting though—not something you ponder or act on. It tends not to happen with women who are relatively unattractive, old, or have bad personalities.

2. I seriously doubt that mature men imagine female co-workers have a “secret crush” on them. The exception is if women give real signals to this effect. These signals can range from obvious flirting to less subtle things, like laughing at your banter (even when its not really funny), hanging around for longer than they have to, lingering eye contact, unnecessarily close physical proximity or even offering to pay for things. This last one is a subtle, but surprisingly good indicator—perhaps because woman may not think of it as a signal. Even if you have fleeting sexual thoughts about a woman, most men can tell if ia woman is truely interested or not.

3. The most disingenuous statement in the world is when a woman says to a man: “But....I thought we were just friends.” All women over 18 understand male-female dynamics very well. Women realize how men are wired and can intuitively tell when a man is attracted to them. And they use it for all its worth—especially when a) they are not attracted to us and b) they know we won’t act on it. At the end of the day, when it comes to using sexuality, they are the professionals and we are the amatuers.


20 posted on 07/31/2012 5:42:03 AM PDT by rbg81
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To: Tax-chick
And does anyone other than me have a problem with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as “emerging adults”?

Asinine comment. (not yours, the so-called designation)

21 posted on 07/31/2012 5:43:54 AM PDT by Gabz (Democrats for Voldemort.)
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To: SumProVita

Anyway, I still think the ‘young adults’ are influenced way too much by tv shows.

It seems every tv sitcom/drama/reality show, every one is sleeping/attracted to every one else, esp. in work environment.

There were certainly rumors of such romantic flings at my work place(s), but very rare considering the large number of employees. As for fantasizing .....


22 posted on 07/31/2012 5:44:42 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = CCCP; JournOList + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey!)
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To: showme_the_Glory

I did not get the impression that the research was limited to “friendships” between coworkers, so it’s probably applicable generally, to the extent it’s accurate at all.

The “Forbes” article seems to be discussing single adults, so it makes sense to me that they would be checking one another out as sex partners.


23 posted on 07/31/2012 5:44:42 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: Tax-chick

“I have polite working relationships with men in Scouts and church ministry ... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.”

They don’t rationally believe it could possibly happen but the thought of fantasy exists. Someone with self control doesn’t act on his thoughts but it is impossible to not have them in the first place.


24 posted on 07/31/2012 5:45:59 AM PDT by ari-freedom
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To: Sir Napsalot

I call BS. I don’t want to with any of them, and I am sure they don’t want to with me either.


25 posted on 07/31/2012 5:46:37 AM PDT by Infralutheran
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To: Gabz

” Asinine comment. (not yours, the so-called designation) “

Not an incorrect designation of this generation’s 20-30 year olds, unfortunately.


26 posted on 07/31/2012 5:47:49 AM PDT by ari-freedom
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To: Sir Napsalot
A normal,unattached man cannot be “friends” with a woman he finds to be attractive particularly if she,too,is unattached.He can *pretend* to be friends while hoping for something more to happen.Homosexual males can certainly be friends with a woman,attractive of not,because he,in reality,is just one of the girls.An attached man who's trying to get a woman,attached or otherwise,into the sack is just a scumbag.And no,not all men think that women are trying to get *them* into the sack.In most cases that's just delusional thinking.
27 posted on 07/31/2012 5:48:01 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Poor Barack.If He's Reelected,Think Of The Mess He'll Inherit!)
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To: Gabz

If that’s the way people think of themselves - and I assume the author does, since she used the term - it seems to me that they are giving themselves permission to act in stupid and immature ways that contemporaries who define themselves as “adults” would not.

My 18-year-old might be considered an “emerging adult,” although I’m more inclined to say “teenage pain-in-the-neck.” However, a 30-year-old man had better have arrived at unqualified adulthood.


28 posted on 07/31/2012 5:50:25 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: ari-freedom

It is one thing for a man to consider me as a possible sex partner, although I rather hope they wouldn’t, but it’s something else again if any of them thought I was considering them back, as it were.

I’m out of the age range of the study, anyway, although many of the men I see are in their 20s and 30s - because their children are the age of our younger ones - while my husband and I are in our late 40s.


29 posted on 07/31/2012 5:55:52 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: Sir Napsalot
Yep
30 posted on 07/31/2012 5:57:27 AM PDT by KeyLargo
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To: Sir Napsalot
Well, I wouldn't say all or every, even with the straight guys. Some? Absolutely? Others? Not my type.

You’ve worked late nights and even weekends to show your supervisor he can count on you. But your boss hasn’t gotten the message; instead, he’s filed those nights and weekends under “romantic pursuit” and your hard-work as pleas for his attention.

As the current big fish in a small pond, the last thing I want to deal with is a harassment lawsuit because I'm in the position of authority creating a "hostile work environment". Business stays business. It keeps me safer.

31 posted on 07/31/2012 5:57:45 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (Holding my nose one more time to get rid of Eric Holder)
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To: Sir Napsalot

They JUST figured this out?!


32 posted on 07/31/2012 5:57:59 AM PDT by poobear (Socialism, in the minds of the elites, is a con-game for the serfs, nothing more.)
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To: Sir Napsalot

“Anyway, I still think the ‘young adults’ are influenced way too much by tv shows.”

__________________________________________

I agree....but I see such influence across all age brackets. The more secularized we become as a culture....the worse it will be. Our *authentic* quality of life deteriorates in direct relationship with our secularization.


33 posted on 07/31/2012 6:00:50 AM PDT by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. - Modified Descartes)
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To: Tax-chick
with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as “emerging adults”?

Considering that I'm in my 30's and own two businesses, Meghan Casserly's number won't be going in my little black book anytime soon.

34 posted on 07/31/2012 6:01:59 AM PDT by Darren McCarty (Holding my nose one more time to get rid of Eric Holder)
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To: Sir Napsalot

If men are such pigs, then who are all these men sleeping with?


35 posted on 07/31/2012 6:05:36 AM PDT by umgud (No Rats, No Rino's)
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To: Sir Napsalot
Why men and women can't be friends
36 posted on 07/31/2012 6:10:16 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Government is the religion of the collectivists.)
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To: Darren McCarty

I’d say you have emerged!


37 posted on 07/31/2012 6:11:53 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: Tax-chick

Like I said - asinine!

My 14yo considers herself and emerging-adult......I think of her more a brat! She did however get on an airplane in Norfolk, change planes in Baltimore and arrive safely on her own in Tampa yesterday. I wanted to cry when she walked passed those TSA agents yesterday. One o them smiled at me and said “She’ll be fine, Mom.”


38 posted on 07/31/2012 6:13:12 AM PDT by Gabz (Democrats for Voldemort.)
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To: Tax-chick

It is one thing for a man to consider me as a possible sex partner, although I rather hope they wouldn’t, but it’s something else again if any of them thought I was considering them back, as it were.

When a woman responds to a man with a friendly “c u soon :)” text message, he will take it all the way in his mind.


39 posted on 07/31/2012 6:15:07 AM PDT by ari-freedom
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To: Gabz
"I wanted to cry when she walked passed those TSA agents yesterday."

Understandable at any age!

40 posted on 07/31/2012 6:17:25 AM PDT by ari-freedom
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To: Sir Napsalot

Looking at the pickings in our so-called culture today, I’d say these findings explain why so many men just stay on unemployment or disability and sit around all day playing video games and watching porn in their parents’ basement.

“Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself” - gazing out at the used car lot of available offerings, for most men this means celibacy, or ought to.


41 posted on 07/31/2012 6:17:53 AM PDT by dagogo redux (A whiff of primitive spirits in the air, harbingers of an impending descent into the feral.)
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To: Sir Napsalot

This study seems very flawed. I work with a number of women and I don’t think one of them wants to sleep with me. In fact, over my career, I can only think of a handful of times when I thought a female co-worker was putting off signs that she wanted to have a more involved relationship (which I never pursued for all the legal problems that can come from something like that).

I actually have experienced the opposite in one organization where I worked — a woman who slept with at least two of our male co-workers.


42 posted on 07/31/2012 6:19:00 AM PDT by Opinionated Blowhard ("When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.")
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To: Gabz

Congratulations! They can be amazingly competent, while at the same time being impossibly bratty ;-).


43 posted on 07/31/2012 6:20:25 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("To contracept is to rebuke a woman for being a woman." ~ Donald DeMarco)
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To: Sir Napsalot

Men are pigs. I have told my daughters this fact. All men, of any age, no matter who they are have some of that pig inside. It is something as natural as breathing, but we men learn to live with it. As long as the thought police don’t arrest us there will be thoughts of sex flying into and out of mens minds on a regular basis. Even Jimmy Carter (not someone I usually agree with) admitted to lusting in his heart.


44 posted on 07/31/2012 6:22:34 AM PDT by jdsteel (Give me freedom, not more government.)
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To: Sir Napsalot

Imagine if the study reversed the genders. I am 100% sure people like this Forbes author would be up in arms. But since this supposed study makes men look bad then it can be proclaimed from the rooftops. The entire premise of the Forbes article is false. It makes the mistake of taking a study about friendships and putting into the context of a working environment.


45 posted on 07/31/2012 6:22:34 AM PDT by C19fan
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To: Sir Napsalot


46 posted on 07/31/2012 6:22:39 AM PDT by WakeUpAndVote
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To: Born to Conserve
Look at the way business women dress, relative to the way business men dress. Although they may not want to sleep with them, it is clear that women see an advantage to teasing men in the workplace.

Oh, please. Yes, there are women who dress slutty - but that is usually not tolerated in the workplace. To me, it seems like a woman who dresses nice, is clean and wears nice makeup will be attractive - and men see that as a 'tease'.

And Lord help her if she has breasts...

Well then she's just asking for it.

47 posted on 07/31/2012 6:24:20 AM PDT by Marie ("The last time Democrats gloated this hard after a health care victory, they lost 60 House seats.")
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To: ari-freedom

Not my point. not at all.

When I flew back in April for the first time since 2000, I was understandably nervous because of all the horror stories I’d heard and read (primarily here on FR) over the past few years. I was pleasantly surprised by the professionalism and politeness of every TSA agent I encountered. Same thing when I flew again 2 weeks ago.

I do admit, one of the first questions I asked my daughter when she called me between lights was about security. She said it was just like we dealt with 2 weeks ago.

While I will not deny the truth of the stories I’ve read, I have been fortunate in that it has not been my experience.


48 posted on 07/31/2012 6:28:04 AM PDT by Gabz (Democrats for Voldemort.)
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To: Tax-chick
... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.
Well, she's obviously interested in sex with somebody.
49 posted on 07/31/2012 6:28:45 AM PDT by Bratch
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To: BipolarBob

Revoke his Man Card.


50 posted on 07/31/2012 6:29:23 AM PDT by dfwgator (FUJR (not you, Jim))
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