Ladies, every man you work with thinks you want to sleep with him

Forbes ^ | 7-26-2012 | Meghan Casserly

[Sir Napsalot]

A new study suggests that—no matter how platonic you imagine a relationship may be—every man you know but aren’t related to is trying to sleep with you. And what’s worse, they think you’re trying to sleep with them right back.

Yes, really.

....

And while this unique insight into the male brain is troubling for male-female friendships around the world—including your insistence that you “stay friends” with all of your exes—the findings are much more disturbing when put into the context of the workplace. What about the platonic relationships you have with your male colleagues? Do male supervisors believe their female subordinates are in love with them? How does that shape corporate culture, the assessment of female employees and women’s advancement in the office?

[Sir Napsalot]

Scientific American reported

Attraction between Friends of Opposite Sexes

from a social sciense study published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

[RoosterRedux]

Ladies, every man you work with thinks you want to sleep with him

I'm shocked!

I thought it was just me!;-)

[LearsFool]

this unique insight into the male brain

More like an insight into the brain of men who lack self-control - or what used to be called "incontinent".

[Popman]

I have worked with all types of women over the years...believe me the ones that look like Ohio State linebackers I do not want to sleep with...

[Daveinyork]

I never thought that about women I worked with, and at my age, I doubt any woman wants to sleep with me. I admit to working with some women who I would have liked to sleep with.

I don’t think I’m that different from the rest of the male population. This study must be crap. Was it taxpayer funded?

[Navy Patriot]

Meghan Casserly is projecting again.

[BipolarBob]

This is outrageous!!! How dare they spill the beans and release high security information like that. Traitors.

[Tax-chick]

Very interesting. That certainly never occurred to me when I was employed.

Without reading the details of the original study, I wonder if the researchers made a distinction between “opposite sex friends” and “polite working relationship.” One need not be “friends” with coworkers of either sex in order to work together in a civilized way. I have polite working relationships with men in Scouts and church ministry ... it’s very difficult to believe that any of them thinks a 46-year-old married woman with ten children, including a 6-month-old baby, is interested in sex with them.

And does anyone other than me have a problem with the designation of people in their 20s and 30s as “emerging adults”?

[WomBom]

They probably spent a boatload on this research

[Born to Conserve]

Look at the way business women dress, relative to the way business men dress. Although they may not want to sleep with them, it is clear that women see an advantage to teasing men in the workplace.

[Sir Napsalot]

Yeah, breaching the sacred Men Rules.

[pieceofthepuzzle]

Just another angle on the feminist angle that ‘all men are potential rapists’. In my opinion and experience, women in the workplace are every bit as likely as men to make assumptions about the interest of co-workers in them.

[ROLF of the HILL COUNTRY]

Forty+ years ago psychologists were saying the same thing:

“There is NO such thing as a platonic relationship between a man and woman.”

That's not sexism; both men and women succumb; in every such “friendship,” one or both will eventually harbor romantic thoughts...

[Sir Napsalot]

#1 sciense

science

[ari-freedom]

[SumProVita]

A new study (and several older studies) suggest that.....ONE study proves nothing.

[showme_the_Glory]

Very interesting. That certainly never occurred to me when I was employed.

So......it has no effect on the unemployed? :-)

[elcid1970]

Your “business women” link no worky. But I’ve heard for forty years that “slit skirts & miniskirts don’t belong in the workplace, and a woman who wears either won’t be taken seriously”.

So why do professional women go right on wearing them, and getting promoted? Now don’t tell me, let me guess.

At least women have quit wearing pantsuits. Yuk. With one notorious exception, our Secretary of State, who not for nothing is known to her bodyguards as the “Flying Buttress”.

;^)

[Islander7]

Lots of women flatter themselves with such thoughts.Truth is most are not desirable.

[rbg81]

A couple of thoughts here (as a man who has been around):

1. Its true that a [straight] man will imagine what its like to have sexual relations with a female co-worker if she is halfway decent looking and/or nice. For the most part, this is just an involuntary, fleeting though—not something you ponder or act on. It tends not to happen with women who are relatively unattractive, old, or have bad personalities.

2. I seriously doubt that mature men imagine female co-workers have a “secret crush” on them. The exception is if women give real signals to this effect. These signals can range from obvious flirting to less subtle things, like laughing at your banter (even when its not really funny), hanging around for longer than they have to, lingering eye contact, unnecessarily close physical proximity or even offering to pay for things. This last one is a subtle, but surprisingly good indicator—perhaps because woman may not think of it as a signal. Even if you have fleeting sexual thoughts about a woman, most men can tell if ia woman is truely interested or not.

3. The most disingenuous statement in the world is when a woman says to a man: “But....I thought we were just friends.” All women over 18 understand male-female dynamics very well. Women realize how men are wired and can intuitively tell when a man is attracted to them. And they use it for all its worth—especially when a) they are not attracted to us and b) they know we won’t act on it. At the end of the day, when it comes to using sexuality, they are the professionals and we are the amatuers.