This one?
Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie
Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.
He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.
He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.
He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.
But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.
The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.
In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.
And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.
I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.
But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.
I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.
But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.
When is it time to let a crazy cat go?
I looked up pleonasm in the dictionary and saw a picture of a neurotic cat.
In full agreement with Lx. DON'T do it, at least not until you've tried the meds.
My "Cats Only" vet reports fantastic results with Prozac, especially for litterbox issues. She says it works better for cats than it does for hoominz. Generic Prozac is $4.00 at Walmart, but for a kitteh you "quarter" the pills, so once you have the Rx it'll cost you a dollar a month.
Pill Pockets make it very easy, my cat has no clue she's getting a pill.
Please give your friend this one more chance before you do something you'll possibly regret.
Alright. I slept on it. I read all of your posts and I rally appreciate all of the understanding. People who don’t love a pet just can’t understand the delima. “It’s just a cat. If it’s pooping all over the place, put it down.”
As for meds and the other suggestions, I have to remind you all that we’ve been dealing with this for a decade. I’ve spent thousands of my (very patient) husband’s dollars on this animal over the years. We’ve tried most of the suggestions here. Over a thousand dollars (I don’t want to think about the exact amount) on tests. We even had to bard him with a vet for several days for fluids and tube feeding when he refused to eat or drink one summer. (Almost a thousand for that round of treatment and tests... and we were broke at the time.)
I’m letting him go. He’s not happy. I’m not asking my husband to put more money into an old animal. I’m not guilting my daughter into taking a disruption into her new home and marriage. I’m not ruining my landlord’s property with cat feces and urine.
I’m not going to put my responsibility onto other people’s shoulders.
And I’m not abandoning this cat to an unknown fate. I am still responsible for him.
I’m going to go ahead with the home euthanasia.
Thank you all for your thoughtful input and understanding. This is hard, but I do believe that it’s the best thing for my little buddy.
I don’t know if animals have souls or not, but I do believe that there’s a special part of him that needs to go ‘home’ now. He did his job here and he did a great job! It’s time to get this guy away from this terrifying place and let him rest.
Sounds like you lasted a lot longer than I did, we had a beautiful female who was a very good cat. She disappeared for 3 months, came home very skinny. It was in the middle of the winter and we think she got trapped maybe in someones garage while they were away for the winter. She was never the same, nervous, spooked easily, very neurotic. We finally realized it was a big disruption and after more than a year of hoping she would settle down we had her euthanized. She was not happy and was suffering in her own way. We have a very good vet and talked with him before hand and he agreed. Best wishes on a diffficult decision.
She is now starting to feel comfortable being around the other two. We gave her her own space to retreat to and feel safe. The meds stopped the "outside the litter box" behavior.
I would not put this cat down until you have tried medication. Have you ever the tv show, My Cat From Hell? The guy has some wonderful ways to help cats like yours.
If you cannot take the cat with you, please give him to a no-kill shelter. I volunteer at one and the people who are employed there will help him. They will isolate him for a few weeks, do medical tests, and give him some loving care and good grub. Please don’t euthanize him!
P.S.: It sounds like your cat was originally a feral cat. They usually bond with only one person. I have such a cat.
It’s been my experience that no-kill shelters are very selective about the animals they take since their space is so limited. Given his behavior problems make him virtually unadoptable, it’s unlikely they’d take him.
When I took Mimi in from my back yard, I was vetless, so I took her to a “holistic” vet to get checked and make sure she didn't have anything she could give my other 2.
I told him about her cough. He said cats sometimes cough, nothing to worry about, all tests came back fine, etc.
Took a while to find a great vet, but I did. I knew that cough was something, especially when it got worse.
This wonderful vet I now have instantly diagnosed her w/ chronic asthma. Poor thing suffered these past couple of years. He mimicked her cough to a tee.
She's got another huge problem the 1st vet missed as well. Surgery is on 7/10.
My point? Your vet is probably misdiagnosing him.
Isn’t it amazing how quickly they go downhill? My eldest, Kitty, died at home on 12/16/10.
We were together 19 years, 1 week and 2 days. It was devastating. I knew she was going. I took off work so we could spend the last couple of days together.
It was awful; however, I just could not bring myself to put her down. I knew her time was near and I told her it was okay to go now. Before that, I was begging her to stay and get better. She tried, she really did.
May God help you get through this, then. Both of you.
Too bad for the kitty.
This one?
Don't image, have a look. At a glance your carpet may look clean but under a microscope its a whole different story. This is pet dander in carpet.
And this is just one of the little critters that feast on pet dander in carpet.
Dinner is served! This may look like a dog scratching but it is really a dog preparing another meal for the bugs in your carpet.
Humans shed skin and hair, and feed the mites too.
Having a pet of course increases this, but unless you live in a sealed bubble, your house is going to be full of dirt and bugs no matter what.
“I hope you’re wearing asbestos underwear.”
? Whatever.
It sounds like you’ve had a lot of animals and none has given you this trouble before. In all the years and all the dogs and cats we’ve had, we’ve only had two neurotic animals and they were both dogs. OK, three dogs. I forgot Sadie. I’m not at peace with the decisions we made with any of the three. I won’t go into details. But we did the best we could with what we were able to do at the time. It’s in the past and I won’t grieve about it. One suggestion that I haven’t heard regarding cats - there is a large contingent of people who post on kitty ping who think that cats cannot be allowed to be outside. I have always had a cat but never one who was not allowed outside whenever he/she wanted outside. I’ve never had a neurotic cat. I’ve never had a cat pee or poop inside. I don’t even have a cat box for the one I have now. He just waits and goes outside. Much healthier for all concerned.
Our kids are not allowed to scratch inside the house...
Seriously, it is a big, big difference between a dog and people. I understand there are some people that don't shower every day but do you know anyone that gives their dog a bath every day? Dogs in a house is just plain gross.
I’m surprised that you would say that on a public forum filled with cat lovers.
I will refrain from the comment I’m thinking.
I've read your reasons and I understand spending a lot of money on an animal when you don't have it. Unfortunately, some vets are extremely unethical and once they see in your eyes that you'll pay whatever it takes to make that animal better, you get every test there is, they always need to be hydrated although it sounds true in your case.
Please give this kitteh a chance to live, find a no kill shelter, if you lived near Sacramento, I would be glad to help you. They have volunteers and the one my wife volunteers at will take any cat and then they post adoption posters for them on the web. Some are destined to live forever at the shelter as they aren't adoptable.
I understand about the litter box. We just got an abandoned female who doesn't get along with the other kittehs. So, I take her upstairs to bed and she sleeps at my feet. Well, one night, I woke up and she had used the blanket I was sleeping in to do #2. I was not pleased. She'll scratch at the throw rugs which means she needs to be put in a litter box. We're hoping she learns soon because two nights ago, she was scratching at my shorts so it was a quick trip to the litter box.
It sounds to me like you've taken a lot of time and put a lot of thought into this decision; you're not trying to be cruel, just what you think is best for the little guy.
Maybe some of the suggestions in this thread will give you options you didn't know you had.
I hope to read that you've changed your mind but if you don't, I won't hold it against you, not that I have a right to anyway. None of us know what you've done over the years and you have to be able to sleep at night which I think you will as you've spent so much time, money and emotions trying to help him. Good luck and prayers.
EXACTLY!! Can’t imagine thinking that all animals have fleas or some such. (They don’t if they are taken care of.) Also can’t imagine fearing LIFE that much! (Dust, dust mites, dirt, pollen, hair shedding, skin shedding —if it’s living it’s going to shed — and yes, this includes humans who sometimes shed the grossest things imaginable.)
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