Posted on 06/30/2012 8:05:22 PM PDT by Marie
Ten years ago my family adopted a stray, adult male cat from our local shelter. He took to me immediately, but would barely tolerate my kids. He flat-out hated my husband on sight and that never changed. He did form an uneasy truce with our dog. They basically agree to ignore each other.
He's at least 12 now and the years have not been good for him.
He's always been terribly nervous. He over-grooms to the point of self mutilation and there are months where his belly is completely bald. He spends his time under the bed. He moves through the house with his tail low, darting from safe-haven to safe-haven. He's the only animal I've ever had that refuses treats. He only eats dry kibble. And, in the summer he'll refuse to eat even that and go down to skin and bones.
He's flea free and well taken care of. The vet has never found anything physically wrong with him. Nothing has worked to make him happy except one thing.
Being alone with me. When the house is quiet and empty, he's a different animal. He's affectionate and playful. Relaxed. He's been a true comfort to me when my husband has been deployed. He and I have our daily rituals. We are true friends. I think that, had the two of us been tucked into a cabin the woods for all these years, he'd have been fine.
But now we're moving and we can't take him with us. My daughter had planned to take him for me, but now things have changed.
The disruption in the house has driven him mad. He's defecating all over the house for the first time. He's scratched his own throat terribly and I've just discovered that the wound is infected.
In the evening, for just an hour or so, he crawls into my lap for comfort. He relaxes and purrs and behaves like a happy, normal cat.
And then he's off again. Running and hiding from imaginary bad guys. Ripping out his hair and scratching himself bloody.
I've never had a problem putting down a sick animal. I know that there comes a point to let them go.
But he's not dying! He's just miserable and crazy. I know that, if he goes with my daughter's new family, he's going to be insane and drive her insane with the random pooping.
I don't think that it's fair to ask her to put up with this. She is buying her first house. And I don't think that it's fair to keep him in this miserable state.
But then we have that hour or so where he's a normal, happy cat and I don't think I can go through with Monday's euthanasia.
When is it time to let a crazy cat go?
I wholeheartedly agree with your wonderful post (especially the last line).
It’s possible the cat could take to your daughter’s household and settle down. I don’t see why he shouldn’t be given at least that chance.
When you take in a dog or a cat you can only guess at what they've been through before finding you.
That cat had a free pass 'till the day she had a stroke and stumbled to me for relief...fortunately Marie was out of town.
There are hard days and there are really hard days and there's some grace in accepting the only hard ones knowing the really hard one is coming sooner or later.
And, to gunsequalfreedom;
I'm fairly well armed but none of my 1911s has ever climbed into my lap for a nap. I've had a couple of Glocks and hated both of them (little guy, a Highpower or Para Ord is about as big a grip as I can tolerate). The Highpower may make me feel more secure at night, but it can't keep me warm. Either the M1A1 or 12 Gage could easily clear the back yard, but the pitbull is quite adequate and likes to have her tummy rubbed. The mini-poodle isn't good for much except being the bull's best buddy, he's still skittish with strangers but I pulled him out of some bushes after watching him being hit by a car so I cut him some slack as well.
I'm sorry for you.
As a multiple cat and dog owner, I hurt for your dilemma. I’ve had to put a cat down in the prime of her life and it devastated me. That being said, I don’t have a problem of putting an animal to sleep if need be. There’s no pain and the alternative is better than than an ailing animal. If you are unable to keep the kitty, what kind of life will he live when you’re gone? He’s miserable now and harming himself to infection. Putting the critter out of his misery would be good for all. Just my humble opinion.
I would say any time you think he may be hiding a handgun on his person.
Oh wait... put down.
Nevermind.
Have you tried psych drugs for your cat? Buspirone helped my neurotic cat be a LOT calmer. Plus, if your household being turned upside down is a short-term thing, you can use diazepam (Valium) to calm him down. Unfortunately you can’t keep cats on diazepam long-term because it can cause liver damage ... but OTOH, if your alternative is to put him to sleep anyway, you might feel comfortable risking it. (Usually vets want you to get them off diazepam within 5 days.) If I were in your shoes, I would definitely try psych drugs. You will need to talk to your vet to get them, but they are not expensive. (And if your vet has seen the cat relatively recently, say within the last year, they should be okay with prescribing the drugs over the phone so you don’t have to pay for a vet visit.) You should be able to get generic drugs cheaply at Costco or someplace.
To go to the ethics of the situation ... I too hate to put an animal down who is simply a problem, rather than actually being ill. It is a tragedy when that happens. I really urge you to talk to your vet and go for the psych drugs. Iffen it was me, I would start the cat on buspirone immediately since it takes a while to kick in, and put him on diazepam immediately as well, to keep him calmer while the buspirone is starting to work. Then by the time you need to stop the diazepam, the buspirone might have started to help him. Your vet may have ideas on better drugs as well. Good luck!!!!!
I hope you’re wearing asbestos underwear.
I have just had some upsets with my 12 year old kitty, Ebonie. She too licked her tummy bald and I had her into the vet umpteen times to try to sort out what is going on...she also had troubles with her anal glands...soiling outside the litter box and scooting....finally an outstanding surgeon removed the glands and no more licking which drove me nuts and the potty problems are solved too. One hitch, the meds given post surgery sent her into seizures..those seem to have resolved now too but she is a little unstable...her get along is ok once her get up gets her up..Your kitty’s problems may be physical and she is trying to tell you something is wrong. Get kitty well checked out, check the foods, and take a hard look at what is going on in the household...check that you have enough litter boxes one cat 2 boxs...all those sorts of things before you result to taking that last drastic action...kitty is trying to tell you something is wrong.
Marie, one last thing ... reading the first time, I did not see that you had scheduled the euthanasia for Monday. I urge you not to do it Monday, but to consult with your vet instead and try drugs instead (as outlined in my original post, or of course whatever your vet might recommend ... but I will say I have had tremendous luck calming down crazy cats with diazepam. It is a miracle drug for crazy cats!!!). If the drugs don’t help, you can always go forward with the euthanasia as originally planned, later. But your post makes it clear you will feel really guilty and sad, and feel that you have let your crazy buddy down. I urge you to give it pharmeceuticals a try first, and see if you can work this out after all. good luck!!!!!
My in laws had a neurotic cat that sounds like yours; sans the extreme licking and scratching. It did almost starve itself to death, after coming face to face with our cat; who was almost an exact physical clone. They took it to the vet and got it some kitty Quaaludes. It was never a truly well adjusted cat; its behavior did level out, though.
I would explore that route, before taking such extreme recourse. I agree with a previous poster. If you don’t, as a pet lover, you may regret it.
My dog went deaf 2 years ago and went blind about 6 months ago, I told her if she still eats and wags her tail we will be OK She has learned to walk the walls when going from one room to the next and probably by smell, when I let her out onher 40 foot cable, she knows exactly where to do her business...she does all things by smell. I also found out she is allergic to chicken so I check my dog food and make sure there is no checken in it...She use to love to go throught the drive through with me cause she would get her order of chcken nuggets. The vet told me to give her snacks of green beans...she loves people food and green beans have lot less calories than chicken nuggets...1 can last about 1 1/2 days. (she is too fat) I am hoping she is down to 80 pounds, last trip she was 90 and not good for her weak back end....she is about 13 and still wags her tail and eats so we live one day at a time...
Cat needs to be put down
And i have cats....and dogs
I would suggest a vet
In rural areas we often do it ourselves but its not easy i can tell you
If the cat is that anxious its either putting it to sleep or doping it maybe
But i mean its a cat....no way for a cat to live honorably
And cats are rather proud as we all know
One other thing you might try... Feliway pheromone diffusers. You plug them into an electrical outlet. Works for some cats. They diffuse calming pheromones. Doesn’t work for all cats, perhaps, but might calm your cat a big.
One other thing you might try... Feliway pheromone diffusers. You plug them into an electrical outlet. Works for some cats. They diffuse calming pheromones. Doesn’t work for all cats, perhaps, but might calm your cat a big.
There are indeed some no-kill retirement places for kitties, run by such organizations as the National Cat Protection Society. For a fee, they will take in your cat for the rest of its life. However, this is not free. Many rescues might be hesitant about taking in a cat who might be considered unadoptable. It’a very difficult to find cats a new home after they are adults, particularly if they’re “seniors” (more than about 7 or 8 years old). I’d try the pheromone diffusers first, or else Prozac (or something similar). Yes, lots of cats are neurotic. It’s part of what makes them so charming.
I second the poster in the 3rd posting, pray for your cat. The cat needs your prayers. I will pray for your cat as well. :)=^..^=
Also Slings and Arrows has good advice also. Ask your vet.
Also ask about at the cat’s vet, foster home care for the cat that is tempory.
Also if your daugther is interested in taking the cat in, good for her. I give her my support.
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