Posted on 04/07/2012 4:17:27 PM PDT by InHisService
My last interview was typical of the new "selection process" employers utilize to weed out the unwanted and unemployable. The first interview was only round one in the boxing ring fighting to get a job. The recruiter gave us the heads up about the selection process.
"Today is the first round, and out of that group we will select those who will be brought back for a second interview. If that goes well, we'll have a third interview, where we will interrogate you with a Tae Kwon Do master on hand. You will be tied to a chair with rope and hooked up to an electronic gadget and a lie detector test. At that point, we will determine if you are telling the truth about your previous employment and each time it doesn't prove out, an electric shock will be sent to your brain, and our man will practice some torture methods on you."
(Excerpt) Read more at voices.yahoo.com ...
What they don’t understand is it’s a two way street. You are also interviewing them.
This article describes a process I find vaguely familiar. My most recent experience is quite different. I posed two statements/questions to disqualify myself. Didn’t work. They had pretty well made their minds up.
One of my favorite bad interviews was in 1993. In the first of a series of co-worker interviews the lady asked “so why do you want to work with us?” I responded “I’m not sure yet that I do.” Oh, that’s a third comment I made to disqualify myself five weeks ago. I cited that experience and told my interviewers that they owed me a response.
Anyway - all is well so far. And we never got to the lie detector or Kenpo master.
It also works both ways, I found out my prospective manager contributed to stopping the repeal of gay marriage in California.
I just can’t stand the interview process. I would just love to respond this way, but of course, never would. After three months I finally got a job, and a pretty good one.
Yes that’s true, I have read prospective employers look people up via internet searches and FB. It’s so easy to find info about people nowadays!
One of the better jobs I’ve had started with an interview with a younger HR type and the owner.
HR; “What do you see as your role in this company ?”
Me; “To be paid well to do what that man asks me to do.”
Owner; “lets go back to my office and start talking about what I need. When can you start ?”
“Try telling employers what you’re really thinking!”
I’ll go one better. My interviewer asked a question which was neither right nor wrong and after giving the answer he said that was not what he was thinking.
“If you were a tree, what kind would you be?”
“An Oak”
“No, I was thinking pine.”
“WTF?!?!!”
Agency:
“How did the interview go?”
“If I have to go through this one more time, I am coming to your home and eating your kids.”
“That bad, eh?”
You nailed it! That’s exactly what you answer. And you add in, “I will exceed your expectations.”
LOL! Job interviewing is the worst. The other thing is job applications, I have an article about that too. One job wanted to know what I’ve been doing since High School - I graduated 30 years ago!!
That’s awesome, good answer!
>>Me; “To be paid well to do what that man asks me to do.”<<
You don’t get hired by me. If I wanted a lackey, I would have asked for a lackey. The absolute last thing in the world I want from anyone at the management or above level is to require me (as “the man”) to be responsible for managing your activities.
The proper answer is: “To use my skills and background to deliver value — in concrete and measurable ways. By doing this I will do my part in helping the enterprise to move forward. In essence: to be the best (rolename) in the company and improve from there.”
You don’t get hired by me. If I wanted a lackey, I would have asked for a lackey. The absolute last thing in the world I want from anyone at the management or above level is to require me (as “the man”) to be responsible for managing your activities.
The proper answer is: “To use my skills and background to deliver value — in concrete and measurable ways. By doing this I will do my part in helping the enterprise to move forward. In essence: to be the best (rolename) in the company and improve from there.”
LOL - yeah, you don't want a lackey - you want a Politically Correct lackey, who correctly recites PC phrases that boil down to doing what you want people to do - which starts with speaking in such a way as to cover your ass, so that you don't have to be responsible for being the one that told them what to do - so that you can take credit for successes, and blame them for failures.
In other words, you're one of those "make your own job" crypto-micro-management hypocrites.
I am continually shocked and amazed that applicants don't tell us to go to hell. I occasionally do get the :::nervous laugh::: "I hope this isn't any indication of how the business works!". It is. Run.
We've got one very high up individual who will request phone interviews and blow them off on a regular basis. On Monday, I will be rescheduling one applicant for the third time. The first time, she just forgot to call. The second time, she decided after it was scheduled that she wanted that day off and didn't feel like talking to anyone.
99% of what passes for “business” is people figuring out ways to get paid for not being responsible for anything.
1% is the work that actually goes into making and selling something.
And those percentages are wildly optimistic, but hey, it’s Easter weekend.
what do you guys do if they ask what you GPA was?
I always tell them my GPA. Then say; “I graduated college when a “C” was a “C”.” Today it seems like everybody is an honor student.
Yes but the way grades are justified today is by claiming that the "old" way of grading was unfair.
So who are you to argue with political correctness?
Therefore you must adjust your "C" to fit the new paradigm, and give yourself an "A" average.
After all, isn't it true that you tried as hard as you could, given your socioeconomic status, the color of your skin, the race of your ancestors, exposure to secondhand smoke, an in reference to certain advanced intrpretations of the scale of functional autism?
Well then.
A.
LOL
Ouch, that’s gonna leave a mark!
I love interviews. You get to meet new people, most of them smart, and have rollicking conversations!
>>In other words, you’re one of those “make your own job” crypto-micro-management hypocrites.<<
No, I hire people.
You are wrong and my task here is to tell FReepers not to listen to your inane and incorrect advice.
And your attitude in this rant pretty much tells intelligent people what they need to know.
If you don’t believe in the company you work for and don;t understand how what you do contributes to its success then you are a drone.
And it wouldn’t surprise me that you are unemployed — and I reiterate: NO ONE should accept your childish (and useless) advice.
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