Mass. woman arrested for beaning boyfriend

Boston Globe ^ | June 25, 2011

[ConservativeStatement]

METHUEN, Mass.—A Massachusetts woman is facing assault charges after police said she threw a baseball and hit her boyfriend in the head during a heated argument.

Methuen police said Maritza Alvarado was arrested Thursday when she told officers that she got angry with her boyfriend and beaned him. The 26-year-old Methuen resident is facing a charge of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

[ConservativeStatement]

Bud Selig is not going to be happy.

[bigheadfred]

Sounds like she has a pretty good arm.

[arderkrag]

1. He has a valid case.
2. A real man would have responded to a baseball the proper way: with a bat.

[ClearCase_guy]

The problem isn’t so much that she throws like a girl; the problem is that he catches like a girl.

[maine yankee]

“What league did you come from?”

“California Penal.”

[Gene Eric]

She pitched, he couldn’t catch...

[advance_copy]

Beaned in Bean-Town... Love that dirty water...

[cripplecreek]

I had a girlfriend smack me in the head with a brass goose.

How does a real man respond to that?

[Oldpuppymax]

Beizbol haz bin berry, berry gud to her!

[Venturer]

Goose her back.

[Christian Engineer Mass]

I wanna know why...

[optiguy]

The Giants could use her.

[cripplecreek]

Because we were teenagers fighting over something so I decided to agitate her by making her think I was making a date with someone else on the phone.

[ConservativeStatement]

Where’s Jobu when you need him.

[SaraJohnson]

Have her arrested for assualt! No way men should tolerate being physically abused by women or anyone else. It would be illegal for you to whack her back and she’d have you arrested so you have no other choice but to report the assault to the police.

What did you do?

[daku]

He ought to at least get to first base

[mylife]

“Baseball bean berry, berry good to me”

[cripplecreek]

What did you do?

We worked it out and spent the next several years together. We actually did pretty good considering the fact that we were youngsters.

[mardi59]

You cook the goose and kick her brass. Sorry...long day.

[maine yankee]

Where’s Jobu when you need him.

“Hats for bats”

[Michael.SF.]

I know Tony Conigliaro can empathize with this guy.

[zerosix]

Is it just me or do I remember news stories even like this but using names like Ryan, O’Roark, Shaunessey instead of Juan Valdez, especially from Mass?

[Michael.SF.]

so I decided to agitate her by making her think I was making a date with someone else

ahhh, the ignorance of youth.

In retrospect, I am sure you now realize that when men create plans to out scheme women, we are starting at the back of the pack.

I am convinced that those "Home Economics" courses the girls had in high school was a front for: 'Using your large head, to defeat their small one.'

;)

[ConservativeStatement]

I’m pretty sure that is the hometown of Susie Castillo, a recent Miss USA.

[Thrownatbirth]

He’s lucky the bowling ball wasn’t lying around.

[SaraJohnson]

I take it that was the last time she attacked you if you stayed with her after giving her a chance. Good for you working it out successfully.

[Squantos]

?

Give her a Christmas Goose early ?

[Christian Engineer Mass]

I'm trying to think of some don't kill the golden goose analogy but it's eluding me

[Lmo56]

She shoulda taken lessons from the guy in the Doritos commercial ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoYku5U0VFE

[haroldeveryman]

Goose her back.

[acad1228]

My wife whooped on my head with my own nuncahaku (nun-chucks). It was my fault, I shoulda never taught her to use them.