And gearing up for his...(ah-hem)....inauguration...
He'll need plenty of these there...(and not just for those attending)...
and one for the digital age...
Posted on 01/16/2009 5:16:26 AM PST by Lucky9teen
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards...
The man, who was a priest, said “I am a Father.” The little
boy replied “My Dad doesn’t wear his collar like that.” The
priest looked up from his book and answered “I am the Father
of many.”
The boy said “My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.” The priest, getting impatient, said “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, “Maybe you should use a condom and wear your pants backwards instead of your collar.
More, why Beer is Better than Obama...
Beer wants to make you sociable; Obama wants to make you socialist.
No matter how often you pee, you can’t rid yourself of Obama.
A beer hangover means you had a good time; an Obama hangover means the good times are gone.
Beer will make the ball game more fun; Obama will tax your balls off.
Too much beer means some of us will occasionally have to say “I’m sorry.” Too much Obama means we’re all gonna be very, very sorry for a long, long time.
This is an oldie, but it still brings a little chuckle.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
Asked her students the following question:
“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how
Would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.What
About you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be
Right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the
Dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and
Show us your good manners?” “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused
For a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I
Hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
The teacher fainted...
CIVICS 101 3rd GRADE
We are worried about “the cow” when it is all about the “Ice Cream”.
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.
We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.
To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother.
The day arrived whe n they were to make their speeches Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Every one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.
Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”
She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a land slide.
Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream,
SEVENTY FIVE percent of the people react like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other TWENTY FIVE percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.
LOL good one
I didnt vote for Obama, but I will give him a change to suck it up.
this is great!!
A funny Obama motto: “A penny saved is a penny taxed.”
Another funny Obama motto: “If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.”
When Obama and tax collectors meet, they wink at each other.
Under an Obama presidency the IRS will be more diligent about detecting red flags, like leftover money in your bank account after you pay your taxes.
Obama says we should be proud to pay more taxes, but the funny thing is that most of us could be just as proud for half the money.
Have you ever noticed how Obama thinks nothing is impossible as long as somebody else has to pay for it?
There’s nothing wrong with the people who voted for Obama that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.
Once Obama is president if you get up early, work late and get a second job, you will still be able to get ahead - if you hit the lottery.
Blessed are they who find Obama funny, for they shall never cease to be entertained.
When Obama is sworn in as President, the only real “gun nuts” will be the people who don’t have any.
It’s a funny thing about socialists; give one an inch and the next thing you know he’ll be president.
Obama said “NO” to drugs, but they must not have heard him.
Even though Obama doesn’t have any experience, we’ll get plenty.
Obama’s cabinet is shaping up to be a funny sort of life form; lots of legs but no brains.
Critics are telling lies about Obama... and most of them are true. (Tip o’the hat to Winston Churchill.)
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average Obama voter. (Another tip o’the hat to Winston Churchill.)
The Obama administration respects our property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
And that 25% know there never will be any ice cream actually given out to the DUmasses.
You got that right.
Standby!
Unfortunately his idea of being a “good” president is counter to the American Way. CHANGE.
Here’s hoping he wakes up to reality. They say “question authority” (meaning the status quo). I say also question the agitator pushing for revolution and change. Ask him who funds him and what he means by “change”.
I was listening to a 1967 interview with Timothy Leary and he was saying that America’s time was up (the older generation) because the young people were going to toss out the old system just as the Roman Empire was overthrown. A lot of generations suffered while we “rebuilt” after the fall of the Roman Empire.
Take your clothes off.
Wait till I tell Petronski!!!!
Lets get this straight. Poo is excrement. And if something is a sham it is a fake.
Why do people wash their hair with fake excrement?
re: 105
ROFLOL
You’re killin’ me Lucky!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.