Posted on 10/22/2017 9:52:46 AM PDT by Sean_Anthony
Never allow others to burden you with unwarranted guilt and shame. You will find your load heavy enough without adding spurious claims of ignominy and sordidness to it.
I first became familiar with the term “toxic masculinity” a couple of years ago, and thought to myself “Oh great, some more post-feminist misandrist bulls—t. Misandry is “the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men or boys.”
But I recently read an article by Maureen Ryan that pulled me up short and allowed me to see the light, so to speak. When Ms. Ryan speaks of “toxic masculinity” she is not referring to masculinity per se, but to a very specific type of masculinity… and I could not agree with her more.
The proper response to those who built civilization is “thank you”.
From the article:
“....Near the end of her article, which is somewhat lengthy, honest, pointed and powerful, she writes the following:
Believe women. Believe men. Believe survivors. Believe that some people are capable of the worst things. Believe that a percentage of men don’t resist the sexist, abusive conditioning baked into toxic masculinity. Believe that some enjoy inflicting pain and transgressing norms, or all of us coming forward means nothing.
Maureen Ryan “A TV Executive Sexually Assaulted Me: A Critic’s Personal Story”
Coming as it does near the end of Ms. Ryan’s list of deplorable male sexist behavior, I can easily see why she considers it “baked into” toxic masculinity. These reprehensible attitudes and actions appear to be de rigueur in Hollywood (and I know for a fact it exists in many other areas and professional fields as well).
Still, I have a problem with the term “toxic masculinity,” which intentionally or not, gives the impression, the connotation, that masculinity itself is somehow toxic. I have met and known women my entire adult life that I would describe as toxic, and yet the term “toxic femininity” sounds absurd to me.
TOXIC WOMEN
By “toxic” I mean men and women whose attitudes, behaviors, and very being poison the atmosphere around them. They run the gamut from sly, soft purveyors of venomous innuendos and mean-spirited gossip, to sadistic cruel monsters.
Although I would say that, hands down, toxic males outnumber toxic females, there is still no lack of toxic females to go around. Some are just mean-spirited—itches, others are outright haters of men. Some pretty much hate everything, including themselves. I’m no spring chicken, and I’ve been around the world a time or two and know what I am talking about.
In addition to toxic women themselves, there is the indisputable fact that many women are attracted, to one degree or another, to “bad boys.” The genre of female romance novels is not popularly known as “bodice rippers” without reason. And it is commonly accepted that many women find males in positions of power…alluring.
Which is all to say that what is good for the goose is good for the gander—toxicity is not a one-way street, and women have their work cut out for them cleaning up their own toxic spill.
NOT PLAYING THE VICTIM CARD
Women such as Rose McGowan and her ilk are the antithesis of victims. They are brave, inspirational, and praiseworthy. They are also human, with all that implies, so I will not raise any of them on a pedestal…but I do salute their guts, their grit, their courage and impassioned chutzpah. Their cause is righteous and their anger well and truly justified.
I have a few words about playing the victim card though. It can turn out to be an enticing trap. A “poor, poor pitiful me” attitude not only is likely to find scant sympathy from other people, it can all too easily mire one in a morass of victimhood that drags you down and keeps you down.
The majority of the women currently speaking out about the pervasive culture of sexual abuse and harassment are not speaking as victims, however, but as past victims, as survivors. Their victimhood is in the past. Their courage, strength and freedom is in the here and now.
They must (and will, I believe) not allow the extinguishing of the torch that they have lit—or else it is all for naught.
Continued below...
RIGHTEOUS MASCULINITY
I do not consider the deplorable, boorish, shameful, misogynistic behavior described as “toxic masculinity” to be masculine behavior in any way. Granted it is males being discussed, but simply being male does not make one masculine.
But words have different meanings, different connotations, to different people, so rather than try to define “masculinity” I will use the term “righteous masculinity” and describe what I mean by that.
“Righteous” means very good or excellent, and “masculinity” means “possession of the qualities traditionally associated with men.” So “righteous masculinity” means an excellent display of qualities traditionally associated with men.
Yes, I know all about the current brouhaha over gender and whatnot. Permit me to act as if sanity and common sense still held sway in our culture and indulge me for the present.
To me, “excellent qualities” is another way of describing what are termed virtues. Some of the virtues that were once associated with masculinity included, bravery, honor, candor, honesty, grit, fortitude, compassion, strength, integrity, and last but not least, self-respect and respect for others. That barely scratches the surface of all that righteous masculinity entails, but it’s a start.
Please note that boorish, piggish, sexist behavior has no place whatsoever in righteous masculinity.
If you are male then you have no reason to be ashamed of your gender. You have, in fact, every reason to be proud of your maleness. “Toxic masculinity,” that is boorish sexist behavior, is no more ingrained in your DNA than masculine virtues are—they are learned behaviors acquired as the result of benighted or enlightened education.
The acquiring of righteous masculinity is a process—the process of building character. My own experience has been that it is a never-ending process—one that I will leave this world still engaged in. I am still growing, still maturing, still building my character and refining my spirit.
If you are male then the list of illustrious men who share your gender is, of course, rather lengthy: Religion—Jesus Christ, Buddha, Abraham. Philosophy—Aristotle, Plato Socrates. Music—Beethoven, Mozart, Chopin. Medicine—Hippocrates, Pasteur, Salk. Art—Michelangelo, da Vinci, Picasso. Psychologists—Freud, Jung, William James. Inventors—Gutenberg, Edison, Tesla. Musical instrument makers—Stradivari, Steinway, Fender. Authors—Shakespeare, Twain, Dickens. Poets—Blake, Whitman, Frost. Great leaders—Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, George Washington. The list goes on, and on, and on.
My point here is that if you are a young male (white males especially) DO NOT buy into the anti-male misandry being spoon fed you by various venues. It is vile poison intentionally designed to destroy your self-esteem and confuse and disillusion you.
There is a point in the Hindu holy book/story the Bhagavad-Gita where the story’s hero, Arjuna, despairs of ever defeating the forces arrayed against him. His friend and mentor Krishna tells him “Stand up Arjuna! This weakness does not become you.”
On the surface, on the mundane level, the Bhagavad-Gita is the story of a battle between warring armies, on the esoteric level it is the story of the spiritual battles we all face, and Arjuna represents every man. Along with Krishna I shout “Stand up Arjuna!”
Stand up and be the best you that you can be. We should be strong with a wholesome strength, self-respecting with a healthy love, and proud with a humble graciousness.”
So the author accepts the premise. Already brainwashed.
The toxic ones absolutely cannot abide men who are strong virtuous men, especially leaders. Sort of like toxic women can’t stand strong virtuous women, especially if they are successful. Both of the toxic types have a Jekyll Hyde thing going on. They will do really messed up stuff, then play all innocent goodness and light.
“Toxic masculinity” does not exist. Don’t let them control the language and narrative.
“The proper response to those who built civilization is “thank you”.”
That would be the Western White Man.
Carrying the White Man’s Burden.
Toxic people do exist, and some are male, some are female. I wonder if some sort of narcissism is the root cause?
Is there such a thing as toxic feminity? I haven’t heard of it, but I have heard of toxic feminism. That being the case, toxic masculinity is not a thing, it would be toxic masculism maybe.
“Already brainwashed.”
He’s a beta
“Toxic masculinty”, simply another phrase invented by our overlords from whole cloth in an attempt to further degrade and coarsen our already frayed culture.
FTC
some enjoy inflicting pain and transgressing norms
Someone who equates transgressing norms with inflicting pain is trying to say what? Norms are whims of the day. It used to be normal to flirt but the norm for sexual harassment has been defined to complimenting a woman’s clothing, or saying ‘good morning’ with an improper facial expression. When equating pain with transgressed norms, the writer equates an actuality with a preference, a convenience that allows portraying male behavior as toxic depending on how it is received, not what is proffered. That’s part of the problem.
Then how come not one of them said, “If that’s the deal, forget it. I don’t want to be in any of your movies.”
I think the thing to look for in toxic people in general, regardless of their junk, is to look for people who represent themselves as something that is the polar opposite of what their actions say about them. These people are “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” for the most part. Look at Hollywood hypocrisy, isn’t it Jekyll Hyde?
Funny how I’ve never heard of “toxic femininity”
I swear when modern feminism first got its start it’s goal was to eliminate the “casting couch”. Seems to have failed all around. A lawyer who took on EEO cases in the early 90s once told me that women would never achieve total equality as long a some woman were willing to spread their legs to achieve their goals.
Can’t change female human nature it seems. And failing that, the attention is now focused on changing some men by attacking all of them.
Never ever bought into attitude women can intice men without potential consequence. Just saying. .
wastedyears to WildHighlander57
“So the author accepts the premise. Already brainwashed.”
Yep, that author got brainwashed.
Mr. Jeeves to WildHighlander57
“
“Women such as Rose McGowan and her ilk are the antithesis of victims. They are brave, inspirational, and praiseworthy. They are also human, with all that implies, so I will not raise any of them on a pedestal…but I do salute their guts, their grit, their courage and impassioned chutzpah.”
Then how come not one of them said, “If that’s the deal, forget it. I don’t want to be in any of your movies.””
I agree, the line should’ve been drawn by those aspiring actresses long ago.
In the woman world each contender will destroy every aspirant to the throne to achieve her world view. This is the best mate, wealth, and dominance. No woman has a woman friend.
Feminism is the losers fighting back.
” No woman has a woman friend.”
Utter nonsense.
.
Would a woman trust her hubby with her smoking hot good friend, I think not. Hell that no fury as a woman scorned, or thinks she is.
This is just based on 70 years of observation, when a man marries he is owned, based on observation over the years.
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