Posted on 02/22/2017 9:05:50 AM PST by Oldpuppymax
Hat tip to Suzanne Eovaldi.
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!
2) On all your check stubs, write, "For Sexual Favors"
3) Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.
4) With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
5) Sing along at The Opera.
6) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
7) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
8) Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go....'
9) Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: My Favorite...
10) Go to a large Department store's fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, "There's no paper in here!"
Now send this email to someone to make them SMILE... it's called 'therapy'!
ping
BOOKMARK
Pretty funny — Thanks! :)
I do all of those already and I’m not retired.
Great post. Thanks for the laugh and smiles.
ROFLMAO...good one!!!
I'm on a fixed income, is there an extra charge for the Diet water?
In those locations where there might be a charge for this, simply ask for the powdered dehydrated water ... I've never seen a charge for that.
Ask the preschooler grandchildren what they really want to do, and if safe, do it. Riding a horse ... research local stables and petting zoos open. If they want to go to a theme park, look for small local carnivals to attend. Go see the animals can equal donating pet food to the pound and seeing the critters there.
Ask them what they want to be and then do an impromptu career day. For example, go take cookies to the firemen and let the kid talk to them about what it is like to be a fireman.
” ask for the powdered dehydrated “
But I do not care for the powered crap!
Two and one half years, mostly C-rats and some LRRP’S.
On standdown, THE MILK WAS MADE FROM POWER!
But we did get real coffee, and on occasion MINI WATERMELONS!!!
That’s OK, I’ll stay with regular water, and burn the calories out on my bike.
Talk about being slightly out-of-sync...!
However, thank you for bringing in some serious suggestions to what started out as a joke thread.
Any time you can get your grandchildren outdoors, away from the electronics, is a good day. Fish pond, rifle range, archery range, are all good. My son took his daughter out one winter morning to sit at the top of a canyon, in the snow, with a thermos of hot chocolate to watch the sun rise and see what critters would show up. She saw deer, turkey, and javelina, and remembers that day fondly.
Is that the gluten-free regular water?
i took my kids out when it snowed and threw snow balls at illegal aliens
So our addiction to FreeRepublic.com is to be kept a secret?
Incidents with my son and my father in his retirement:
* What is it like on the roof with your antennas? So they went up there. He was 3-4.
* The thing that makes the squiggly lines isn’t turning on, oh, it is broken. Can I see how you fix it? They took apart a micron oscilloscope and when he tried to talk about it, everyone thought he meant a kaleidoscope.
* “I want to see the animals like monkeys and Go Diego Go.” Impromptu trip to animal reserve. What did the kids remember? A rescued bobcat kitten sleeping with a house cat about as big as it.
I’ve been singing along at the opera since I was 10! LOL!
Memories that will last a lifetime, and shape their character as well.
LOL.
My kids built a snowman holding out a plate of cookies, facing the front door of the cranky old guy on our block. Then rang his doorbell and ran.
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