[IronJack]

No one can continue to abuse you without your permission.

Make a plan to walk away. Then walk away.

[shotgun]

I did just that. The gal I was seeing was great and I loved doing things for her. Then one day about a year and half in she starts telling me to stop buying things and pay my bills off, even though 1) I had no bills, 2) I wasn’t even buying things but was just dreaming out loud while checking out new toys and doo dads for my Harley on line.

Then she starts saying the same thing in front of our friends, which really pissed me off until I finally snapped and told her she had no business saying what she did to me or anyone we knew, and that she never complained when I was buying her gifts and taking her on vacations and that I was leaving!

She came in and apologized but my mind was made up. It took me a couple of months to find and apartment. They called me on a Friday and told me I could move in on Tuesday. On Sunday afternoon she came through the door I told her that I need to talk, she sat down and I said I wasn’t happy and I rented an apartment and I move in on Tuesday, then I walked out.. She called me a hundred times but I wouldn’t take her call. I came back on Tuesday morning and took my stuff. Haven’t seen her or talked to her since.

The bottom line is once you make up your mind is to just leave, don’t let their tears keep you there to listen to them, just leave...

[ctdonath2]

And the kids?

[Mr. Douglas]

No one can continue to abuse you without your permission.

Make a plan to walk away. Then walk away.

---

in my case, I stopped responding to the abuse. It drover her absolutely bananas. The goal was to not enable the behavior, but not come down on her either. And the BIG goal was to respect myself and simply not allow the treatment to continue. e.g. explain that it is hurtful, walk away until she calms down, etc.

The result was that she kicked ME out. This was good. As a Christian I don’t believe in divorce but am told to allow the non-believer to leave.