Posted on 10/16/2014 11:34:54 AM PDT by lifeofgrace
Halloween is my least favorite time of year. Every year, I get tired of telling people why I don’t observe Halloween, why my kids don’t dress up and go trick-or-treating, and why our porch light is dark on October 31st. I am then accused of being a grinch, or a humbug, or a kid hater, or some religious nut, or a prude. I am none of these things. I simply see no useful reason why there’s a holiday called Halloween, or why anyone should celebrate it.
Halloween is a celebration of fear, secrecy, darkness, death, and mayhem. It ruins children and coats the poison with candy. Halloween is a holiday for the ignorant, a day set aside to honor a lack of knowledge, by people who don’t care enough to gain it. Halloween is a feast of stupid self-indulgence. There’s nothing positive I can say about that day, no matter how much fun it may be to dress up, join a bunch of other people, walk door to door demanding candy, then go home and gorge yourself on it while watching horror movies.
Before you shoot the messenger, let me clear up a few things.
I grew up with Halloween like most American children. We went out trick-or-treating every year. I remember wearing some kind of costume and knocking on doors, asking for candy. It was a somewhat simpler time—the late 60’s and the 70’s. We didn’t worry so much about gang violence or child abductions. We went out carrying little orange plastic pails decorated like jack-o-lanterns, dressed in store-bought Bugs Bunny or Hong Kong Phooey costumes, or a homemade ghost or vampire with plastic fangs. We feasted on Pez, Bubblicious, M&M’s, and the coveted Reese’s Cups until we were sugar-buzzed and sick to our stomachs.
I was never abused as a child, or scared witless by some stranger. I have no fear of clowns or costumes. My biggest fear as a kid was X-rays; I could never watch the title sequence of the Six Million Dollar Man because there was an X-ray of a skull in it. That just freaked me out. I’ve never recovered—to this day I can’t watch House without getting nightmares. You don’t see too many kids walking around on Halloween dressed up as X-rays so I think that’s safe.
I am also not a dentist or the child of one (I couldn’t handle being regularly bitten by children anyway). I have no bias against sugary treats. My kids can chow down on candy as much as any privileged American children. I’m also not against dressing up in costumes.
About now is when you ask me “so why do you hate Halloween if none of those things bother you?” Obviously I’m not ruined and I celebrated Halloween, you say. I’m not ruined because I possess some truth of what Halloween really is.
This would be the point where you think I’m going to tell you that Satanists bounce out of the woods, kidnap your children and perform blood sacrifice on them before killing them and burning their bodies. No, those would be insane murderers, and if there were any chance of it happening on Halloween, the authorities would be all over it. Let me debunk the typical myths. Strangers don’t poison candy, put razor blades in apples, or abduct children on Halloween. The biggest safety hazard during trick-or-treat is being hit by a car. If you do it during the daylight, that cuts the risk significantly.
There. Now we can be reasonable and throw out all the nutty stories and stick to facts.
You may know a bit about the origins of Halloween. Back before much of recorded history, in what historians call “antiquity”, the Celtics and druids celebrated a Pagan holiday called Samhain (SOW-in), as the end of summer, halfway between the Autumnal Equinox and the Winter Solstice. They believed that the shortening of the days, and the advent of cold weather (it’s northern Europe, nasty climate and all) signified the dying of the world each year, and that evil spirits would walk the earth looking to possess or consume the living. They would dance around bonfires and dress up in various costumes to “entertain the spirits”, to avoid being possessed.
But that’s not the Halloween we celebrate today. It’s short for All Hallows Eve, which is the day before All Hallows Day. A bonus question: isn’t there another day called All Souls Day? Yes, there is, and if you knew that, you’re probably Roman Catholic. Here’s the progression: All Saints Day is a Catholic Feast day commemorating the saints who have entered Heaven. It’s followed by All Souls Day, which commends us to pray for souls who are being purified in purgatory or have entered Heaven to commune with us who are still living on the Earth.
In short, Catholics believe that we can pray for the dead and the dead will pray for us.
Over time, as Catholicism moved into northern Europe, they started evangelizing the Celtics and druids. Pope Gregory IV moved the traditional May celebrations of All Hallows Day and All Souls Day to November 1-2, to coincide with Samhain. You see, Bibles were rare back then, and it was simply much easier to give the heathens a new holiday to celebrate than the actually teach them Biblical truth. In those days the Catholic Church in 846 A.D. was not a particularly Bible-focused organization—it was more like the Cosa Nostra than the Sisters of Mercy.
The two holidays merged: the Catholic belief in communion with the dead, and the pagan belief in evil spirits, and gave birth to Halloween. Today, modern druids (the Order of Bards, Ovates & Druids) celebrate Samhain much as the ancients did. If you’re one of these, you have my blessing to carry on…you’re wrong about many things, but at least you’re not a hypocrite.
In Part 2 we’ll review how Halloween ruins kids and celebrates ignorance and death.
memories . . .
You must be a lot of fun at parties.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.
And all they'll get is a rock.
"I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to..." *slams door*
Dude, you know what’s worse than elaborate store bought costumes? About 5 years ago, at least half of the older kids who come by, HAVE NO COSTUME ON AT ALL!!!! Jeans and t shirts!!! And this is in a very nice very caucasian neighborhood.
Funny how some people will go so far out of their way not to have some fun.
Lighten up.
Boo!
But how do you feel about Groundhog Day?
Once a year for all people and all religions one holiday!
Grow up and get a life! You sound pretty graceless to me.
Since those two holidays also have ties to ancient heathen cults or practices.
Berman probably doesn't celebrate Easter or Christmas because he's Jewish.
Before that can be answered, further research needs to be done as to whether Catholics also ruined Groundhog Day by starting Groundhog Day.
Obviously.
Freegards
Haloween: a celebration of chocolate is one of my favorite days.
PING
Oh. Well in that case Berman is....((insert sarcastic reference to some Jewish Holiday here))
About that stick up lodged in your nether regions...
Isn’t it uncomfortable?
If you don’t like Halloween, then don’t participate. No one really cares.
HELL NO!!
I hate Candy Corn. I teach my children that if given Candy Corn to throw it back in their face.
Candy Corn is the Fruit of the Devil.
I agree with not celebrating Halloween. However, if you’re going to be consistent Christmas and Easter have to go too. The origins of Christmas are in pagan winter solstice celebrations. Just about everything associated with the holiday, from the tree and yule log to gift giving, flows directly from pagan celebrations. Easter is much the same, its origins are in sex and fertility springtime pagan holidays. Thus the rabbits and eggs. I’m all in favor of ridding the church of all of these holidays.
What does that make those nasty orange "circus peanut" things?
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