Posted on 06/15/2014 3:40:06 AM PDT by Reaganite Republican
***ping***
Nice Job RR
Thanks Verga- if you’re a dad, have a good one.
Hey, even if not-
email from a great friend:
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule.
The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, “Hey old man, can you dance?”
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, “No son, I don’t dance.. never really wanted to”
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old fool, you’re gonna dance now!” and started shooting at the old man’s feet.
The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.
Everybody standing around was laughing..
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.
The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12-gauge barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands, as he quietly said;
“Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s ass?”
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No sir.. but.... I’ve always wanted to”
There are a few lessons for all of us here:
*Don’t be arrogant.
*Don’t waste ammunition.
*Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are.
*Always make sure you know who is in control...
*And finally, Don’t screw around with old folks; they didn’t get old by being stupid....
I just love a story with a happy ending, don’t you?
and another one;)
For those of you who have lived in TX,
you’ll understand this. If you haven’t – this may give you some insight! And if
you’re thinking of moving or visiting there, I’m thinking this may be a helpful
tip for
you!
One day, a very gentle Texas lady was
driving across a high bridge in Austin
.
As she neared the top of the bridge, she
noticed a young man fixin’ to jump. (”fixin” in Texas means: has the means or
abilities and is preparing to take
action)
She stopped her car, rolled down the
window and said,”Please don’t jump! Think of your dear mother and
father.”
He replied, “My mom and dad are both dead;
I’m going to
jump.”
She said, “Well, think of your sweet wife
and precious
children.”
He replied, “I’m not married, and I don’t
have any
kids.”
She said, “Well, then you just remember
the Alamo
.”
He replied, ‘What’s the Alamo
?’’
She replied, “Well, bless your heart! You
just go ahead and jump you little Yankee Democrat Bastard. You’re holding up
traffic”
one More!!
The Real Reason NBC Retired Jay Leno!!!
These “one liners” just may be the reason NBC retired Jay Leno!
NBC was upset by the fact, Leno’s comments were ALWAYS right on target.
“I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don’t want to get audited by the IRS.”
On NSA surveillance: “We wanted a president who listens to all Americans - now we have one.”
On a new IRS commissioner: “He’s called ‘acting commissioner’ because he has to act like the scandal doesn’t involve the White House.”
On closing the Guantanamo prison for terrorists: “If he really wants to close it, turn it into a government-funded solar power company. The doors will be shut in a month.”
Concerning the Benghazi , Associated Press, and IRS scandals: “Remember in the old days when President Obama’s biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden?”
On Obama saying he didn’t know about the IRS scandal: “He was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi to not know anything about the IRS.”
“The White House has a new slogan about Benghazi : Hope and change the subject.”
“It’s casual Friday, which means that at the White House, they’re casually going through everybody’s phone calls and records.
“It is not looking good for President Obama. Today his teleprompter took the fifth.”
“Fox News has changed its slogan from ‘Fair and Balanced’ to ‘See, I told you so!’”
On Obama’s commencement address: “He told the young graduates their future is bright unless, of course, they want jobs.”
On a Chicago man who set a record for riding a Ferris wheel: “The only other way to go around and around in a circle that many times is to read the official report on Benghazi ..”
On White House claims of ignorance on the scandals: “They took ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ out of the Pentagon and moved it into the White House.
Now the last, and I think best!
“These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. It’s gotten so bad that People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American
LOL. Two good ones.
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