Posted on 12/24/2012 8:29:46 AM PST by marktwain
Scholarly studies have found that the more hospitals that exist in a country, the more people die in hospitals. This alarming conclusion shows that the United States, with the highest number of hospitals, has the most people die in hospitals. Countries with few hospitals have few die in them, a country fortunate enough to be without hospitals would have no one die in a hospital.
This leads to the inescapable conclusion that we should ban hospitals in order to prevent hospital deaths.
Spot on! And a very clever way of emphasizing that countries with less guns have less gun deaths. Epic!
OMFG... really? When there’s more of something there’s MORE of something else? OMG!
What passes for “research” these days is a joke. A big reason I cut myself short on getting my Master’s degree in technical communication is that the existing lexicon of research in the field is so saturated with garbage that I could never get approval for my “purely technical” thesis proposals. Fie on them!
Good point as well, Mr. Twain. The British media and others in Europe are keen to point out how “violent” American appears to be, when in reality they’re comparing their paltry population numbers to our rather large 330 million. By percentages, I would bet that America’s total violent crime rate and “gun crime” rate is several tens of a percent lower than most Eurozone countries with “gun control” laws.
duh! a country with no hospitals has zero deaths in hospitals.
A local group of doctors run a cancer clinic that can treat more than 30 patients at a time. They have a very high death rate and must be outlawed as a high capacity health care provider.
No public schools -—> no public school deaths.
I may have missed out on inventing the pet rock and authoring this “scholarly study”, but I’m going to apply for federal money to study the correlation between the number of automobiles owned in countries globally and the number of deaths from automobile accidents.
Be sure to publish the research when you have finished. I want to read it!
The largest hospitals should be the first ones banned.
“I’m going to apply for federal money to study the correlation between the number of automobiles owned in countries globally and the number of deaths from automobile accidents.”
not a joke:
The Automobile Association of Kenya published a story saying that the death rate per automobile registered in Kenya was 50 times that of the UK and 70 times that of the USA.
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