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DUmmie FUnnies 11-19-12 (No Wonder. It's a Bimbo Eruption!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 19, 2012 | DUmmie boston bean, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 11/19/2012 12:38:06 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

The Obama Economy continues apace. Another business shutting down. Thousands of jobs lost. More tax revenue lost. Ho-hum.

But no Ho-Hos. Or Ding-Dongs. Or Twinkies. Or Wonder Bread. Hostess is going out of business. And even the DUmmies are having to adjust, as we see in this BREAD THREAD by DUmmie boston bean, "Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!" Then we'll also look at this THREAD, "Here is what is going to happen to Twinkies."

So let us push our carts up and down the aisles of DUmmieland, in search of Dead Bread Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--reminding the DUmmies, "YOU OWN IT!"--is in the [bracket] sandwich:

Do not laugh, I beg of you do not laugh!

[Hey, this is the DUmmie FUnnies! We're looking at you DUmmies. How can we NOT laugh?]

I'm a pretty strong feminist, let me preface this story with that fact!

[OK, you've presented your prog credentials, DUmmie boston bean. Please continue.]

I have been having quite a bit of a hard time in thinking I may lose my beloved Wonder Bread, you know with Hostess closing and all.

[The striking union held their ground, that's the important thing. So 18,500 workers will now be out of a job. So there will be that much less tax revenue coming into the treasury. So DUmmie boston bean will no longer have her beloved Wonder Bread. These are the sacrifices we must make TO TELL IT TO THE MAN!!!!]

Well, hubby went grocery shopping today and the stores were picked clean of Wonder Bread, Twinkies, Donettes, everything Hostess.

[No Wonder.]

Holy Cow!

[Holy Sacred Cow, Big Labor!]

He went out to another store to see if he could find a loaf of Wonder Bread, and a couple of other things we needed!!!!!

[Now with multi-exclamation marks!!!!!]

And I told him, try to find a replacement if you can't find the Wonder Bread.

[How about air-filled wallpaper paste?]

Now, I'm really beginning to get really concerned I may have consumed my last slice of Wonder Bread!

[The Wonder Years are over. Wonder Bread is toast. What is the point of going on? I mean, really.]

I'm sorry to have been bothering you all with my fear over this loss, but I really have been fretting about the loss of this bread. I know, please don't tell me how bad it is for me. I don't care. I like the bread and have been bred on Wonder Bread!

[New York Post headline: BROAD BRED ON BAD BREAD UP TO HEAD WITH DREAD.]

Grilled cheese sandwiches will not be the same without my favorite Wonder Bread!

[Try grilling the cheese without the bread. Who knows, you may like it.]

So anyhow, hubby gets home from the grocery store. . . . He says the second store was out of Wonder Bread too, and all other hostess products. People must be stock piling the stuff.

[Nadin Brzezinski. Her fingerprints are all over this. Fifteen pallets for her fallout shelter, I bet.]

But anyhow, he whips out . . .

[Careful . . .]

But anyhow, he whips out this loaf of bread:

[It's a Bimbo eruption!]

I'm gonna give it a try, because I don't have another choice, but DAYUM! Did they have to name it BIMBO!?

[What's in a name? That which we call a Bimbo, by any other name would sell as wheat.]

[Her fellow DUmmies now commiserate with DUmmie boston bean . . .]

You know, you are what you eat.

[And you guys have been eating DUmmi Bears.]

pronounced Beembo.

[pronounced DUm-mee.]

Just tried a bit of it, and it wasn't bad.

[Let's get DUmmie boston bean to try it! She'll eat anything!]

We have Bimbo here in the NW. . . .

[Bill Clinton is on his way!]

I tried not to laugh. I swear I did. It wasn't so much the name of the bread, but the fact your husband bought it.

[Yeah, boston bean, I thought you said you were a strong feminist! What are you doing having your husband buying things for you? Aren't you an independent woman? Why do you even HAVE a husband?? Who needs 'em?]

I always thought it should be "Bimba" anyway, "Bimbo" should be for boys.

[It's only boy bimbos for benburch.]

If you absolutely must have white balloon bread that makes your teeth squeak, Bimbo bread is great stuff.

[Disgustibus non est disputandum.]

It's made by a Mexican company, Grupo Bimbo. . . .

[I, for one, welcome our new Mexican ovenlords.]

a national brand like Hostess is likely not going away for long. . . . it will probably outlive us all.

[You may be right. I've still got a Twinkie I bought back in 1967.]

I hear that Hostess products have deteriorated over the years.

[Not my Twinkie! Still soft and golden!]

Motto: "Bimbo, for the breast in bed". . . .

[Gropo Bimbo.]

The company is headquartered in Mexico. Bimbo doesn't mean the same thing there as in English. . . . Pretty soon we'll all be eating pan Bimbo.

[As opposed to Pan American.]

Damned Americans. They think English is the only language and everything is in English.

[Pan American!]

Kind of like when Pizza Hut sold their P'zone in Italy and people read it as "pezon" which means nipple.

[They sold Pizza Hut IN ITALY?? Why??]

In any case watch for Bimbo brand bread in your supermarket.

[BLAND BREAD BRAND TO EXPAND.]

To me bread is bread. I use WalMart Great Value bread. . . .

[WalMart?? You shop at WALMART?? Turn in your Prog Card immediately!! Prepare for tombstoning!]

I know your serious about the issue but kind of put in in prospective. There are people who are starving.

[Like those union strikers who just bit the brand that fed them.]

you can put some Olive Oil on each side. . . . Hmmm good.

[A little Extra Virgin with your Bimbo. . . . Yumm!]

I think their Bimbo is different from our bimbo. Er . . . . that bimbo. I mean Bimbo. The bread Bimbo, not the bimbo bimbo. Ya know?

[Bimbo erudition.]

Bimbo bakeries most likely to buy Hostess!

[BIMBO TO BUY BANNED BRAND PLANNED?]

I always wondered if it was actually bread. . . . I just thought that's how it got its name: Wonder (if it's) Bread.

[They tried "I Can't Believe It's Bread," but that didn't sell too well.]

it is bread, it's just batter whipped, instead of dough.

[Battered white bread syndrome.]

Well the little bear is cute.

[Tom Vilsack. . . Paging Mr. Tom Vilsack. . . .]

All bread is bad.

[All generalizations are bad. People who make them should all be shot.]

I havent eaten bread in 10 years.

[If you've been eating Wonder Bread all that time, I agree.]

I think it has too much gluten which is a kind of glue.

[Glutenous maximus.]

Because my mom swore by it, I've always made all my French toast and bread puddin with Wonder Bread.

[If you made my French toast with Wonder Bread, I'd be swearing, too.]

I don't want to see the "Hostess Bimbo" mascot.

[Her catchphrase: "Me love you long time!"]

Heck even the raccoons wouldn't mess with that Wonder "solidified chemtrail in a bag".

[PJ tried to get some Wonder Bread for Li'l Beaver once. Had a BOGO coupon. Li'l Beaver set a cigar to it and it went up in a puff of smoke.]

Maybe bimbo can buy out Hostess and re-launch their bread as Wonder-Bimbo.

[Sandra Fluke could get a job as their mascot.]

I'd rather be around a bimbo than a grumpy or snarky or know-it-all or Republican any day of the week.

[Imagine if they had "Rethuglican Bread"!! Ewww!!]

sweets lovers across the nation hung their heads in sorrow on a dark Friday yesterday as Hostess announced they would cease making their line of products, which include the iconic Twinkies brand, because of the Bakers Union Strike.

[The union spoke truth to power and WON! They held out and REFUSED to give an inch! Woo-hoo! Of course, they now have no jobs to come back to, but that's beside the point.]

But now as the brand heads towards liquidating and selling off their assets, a Mexican company may be angling to resurrect the golden Twinkies. . . . Mexico’s Grupo Bimbo may hold the inside track.

[Bimbo Bakery to the rescue!]

So is this the narrative that CorpMedia is using? . . . That a strike brought down Hostess?

[Hmmm. . . . Difficulty. . . . The union goes on strike, threatening the ability of the company to produce its goods. . . . The union succeeds. . . . The company folds. . . . But now, now, we don't want to blame the union, do we? What's a dutiful prog to do??]

The union can still be used to save this situation for the workers. . . . The union could still function as the organizing body of a bakery worker cooperative. . . . If they put their union's money and their own money together (all of them), they might just have enough to garner external support to buy up what they need to get started. . . . It sounds like a pipe dream, but it's not.

[A workers' cooperative! Yeah, that's the ticket! WHEEEE!!! C'mon, kids, let's put on a SHOW!!!!]

Frankly, a little government investment . . . could really help make this happen.

[Yes, a government bailout! Invest in America's snack food infrastructure! Why, even better--a government takeover! General Hostess! Electric Twinkies! Solyndra Cakes! Obambo Bread!!]

We should organize the Bimbos.

[You know, you're right. We need a Bimbo Czar . . .]



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
Former Hostess worker finds a new job in the Obama Economy: Bimbo Baggin'.


1 posted on 11/19/2012 12:38:14 PM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


2 posted on 11/19/2012 12:41:19 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Dead Bread Thread.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I always thought it should be "Bimba" anyway, "Bimbo" should be for boys.

Our market research shows that Bimba bread played about as well with the public as Sambo bread.
3 posted on 11/19/2012 12:46:01 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top Five!


4 posted on 11/19/2012 12:49:12 PM PST by mowowie
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To: Charles Henrickson

Frankly, I would love to see a Bimbo Hostess line of products...


5 posted on 11/19/2012 12:50:06 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson
YEAH TOAST!!!!!!

Wonder bread is toast. (pre toast actually)
6 posted on 11/19/2012 12:53:31 PM PST by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Now, I’m really beginning to get really concerned I may have consumed my last slice of Wonder Bread!”

First world problems.


7 posted on 11/19/2012 12:58:18 PM PST by Winstons Julia (Hello OWS? We don't need a revolution like China's; China needs a revolution like OURS.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

You’ve outdown yourself this time.

Top 10!


8 posted on 11/19/2012 1:01:01 PM PST by NeoCaveman (Tagline X. Waiting to be given a new tagline.)
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To: Army Air Corps

Jim Reeves

BIMBO
Songwriters: MORRIS, RODNEY

Bimbo, Bimbo, where ya gonna go-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, whatcha gonna do-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, does your mommy know
That you’re goin’ down the road to see a little girleo.

Bimbo is a little boy who’s got a million friends,
And every time he passes by, they all invite him in.
He’ll clap his hands and sing and dance, and talk his baby talk,
With a hole in his pants and his knees a-stickin’ out,
He’s just big enough to walk.

Bimbo, Bimbo, where ya gonna go-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, whatcha gonna do-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, does your mommy know
That you’re goin’ down the road to see a little girleo.

Bimbo’s got two big blue eyes that light up like a star,
And the way to light them up is to buy him candy bars.
Crackerjacks and bubblegum will start his day off right,
All the girlies follow him just a-beggin’ him for a bite.

Bimbo, Bimbo, candy on your face-e-o,
Bimbo, Bimbo, chewin’ on your gum-e-o.
Bimbo, Bimbo, when you gonna grow
Everybody loves you, little baby Bimbo.

You never catch him sittin’ still, he’s just the rovin’ kind,
Altho’ he’s just a little boy, he’s got a grown-up mind.
He’s always got a shaggy dog a-pullin’ at his clothes,
And everybody calls to him as down the street he goes.

Bimbo, Bimbo, where ya gonna go-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, whatcha gonna do-e-o
Bimbo, Bimbo, does your mommy know
That you’re goin’ down the road to see a little girl-e-o


9 posted on 11/19/2012 1:01:36 PM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (The parasites now outnumber the producers.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'm sorry to have been bothering you all with my fear over this loss,

Fear? Come now, my chid. There must be 10 different brands of bread at my supermarket. Ditch the Wonder if it's Really Bread and try Franz. Baked right down the street here in the beautiful, soggy, Pacific Northwest.

10 posted on 11/19/2012 1:05:43 PM PST by SandyInSeattle (2 Corinthians 4:8)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The diseased posters at the DUmpster are happy about the loss of Hostess because all their products are not Bloomberg friendly but now someone is lamenting the loss of Wonder white bread? You can compress a loaf of that down to a small ball.

All the talk about how bad their food is to America yet they miss Wonder white bread. Typical reasoning of the pseudo intelligentsia. I thought they were for wheat breads in the interest of all the horribly overweight Americans the media says we have. Too bad if people look at their friends and co-workers, I don’t know too many Gov. Christies - Jaba in the flesh.

There’s a factory in Sacramento that we visited in 1967 in Elementary skrool. They used to give out a mini-loaf to folks who toured their factory. I wonder how it’s going to affect Sacramento. Just driving past the plant on Arden way was enough to smell a wonderful scent.


11 posted on 11/19/2012 1:06:12 PM PST by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04


12 posted on 11/19/2012 1:06:41 PM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lx

DUmmie boston bean, aka Wonder Woman.


13 posted on 11/19/2012 1:08:26 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Dead Bread Thread.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

[They sold Pizza Hut IN ITALY?? Why??]

Hehehehe........Same reason you won’t find a Red Lobster restaurant in New England.


14 posted on 11/19/2012 1:09:38 PM PST by GQuagmire
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To: Charles Henrickson
[New York Post headline: BROAD BRED ON BAD BREAD UP TO HEAD WITH DREAD.]

LOL! I thought this was real!

.

15 posted on 11/19/2012 1:13:39 PM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: All

We sure need some here.
FReepathon Day 50!

16 posted on 11/19/2012 1:17:48 PM PST by onyx (FREE REPUBLIC IS HERE TO STAY! DONATE MONTHLY! IF YOU WANT ON SARAH PALIN''S PING LIST, LET ME KNOW)
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To: Charles Henrickson

wow, only took 2 weeks into Obama’s second term to produce empty shelves at the grocery store...


17 posted on 11/19/2012 1:23:58 PM PST by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Lx

I went on a field trip to the local Wonder Bread Bakery also in 1967, when I was in 2nd grade. It was themed as Alice in “Wonder”land, and starred Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum. The smell of fresh-baked bread is very nice. Also, we got to eat a slice that was still warm.


18 posted on 11/19/2012 1:37:13 PM PST by steerpike100
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To: Lx
That plant was closings. Something about paying 100% union tax for a twinkie.
19 posted on 11/19/2012 1:45:07 PM PST by Domangart
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To: Charles Henrickson

Bimbo Baggin’. LOL! LOL! LOL! You’re good.


20 posted on 11/19/2012 2:22:39 PM PST by samiam1972 ("It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."-Mother Teresa)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The description of Wonder Bread as akin to eating wallpaper paste is apt. However, it seems the Dummies can’t make the connection between union strikes and companies going out of business. Because in Dummy world, businesses exist to provide jobs. So what if they can’t make money and/or go in the red. (snicker)


21 posted on 11/19/2012 2:36:11 PM PST by driftless2
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To: Charles Henrickson
Well, hubby went grocery shopping today and the stores were picked clean of Wonder Bread, Twinkies, Donettes, everything Hostess

Hostess No More Mostest

22 posted on 11/19/2012 3:29:24 PM PST by mikrofon (Pan-DUmmic)
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

I had a Twinkie
hecho en el Sur
and Bimbo was its name
B-I-MBO
B-I-MBO
B-I-MBO
And Bimbo was its name-o.


23 posted on 11/19/2012 3:33:20 PM PST by freedumb2003 (Here comes bama claus here comes bama claus left down bama claus lane!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Aren’t those DUers Earth Goddesses or something. Why the [unladylike word] aren’t they making their own dang bread? Perhaps they don’t know the concept of “home cooking.”


24 posted on 11/19/2012 4:02:19 PM PST by TheOldLady
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To: Charles Henrickson
I, for one, welcome our new Mexican ovenlords

Now that just made me LOL! Well done!

25 posted on 11/19/2012 4:15:54 PM PST by hattend (Firearms and ammunition...the only growing industries under the Obama regime.)
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To: steerpike100
I went on a field trip to the local Wonder Bread Bakery also in 1967

Around that same time I went on a field trip to Helms Bakery, in Los Angeles. The smell was wonderful, and we each received miniature loaves.

I wouldn't go near Wonder Bread or any Hostess junk now. End of an era.

But I'm surprised -- why would this woman? Aren't these DU types supposed to be into natural or artisanal food?

26 posted on 11/19/2012 4:41:29 PM PST by MoochPooch (I'm a compassionate cynic.)
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To: MoochPooch
Aren't these DU types supposed to be into natural or artisanal food?

They talk a good game, but when they swipe their EBT cards, you know that cart is loaded with junk food. Otherwise they wouldn't be 100# overweight.

27 posted on 11/19/2012 4:43:44 PM PST by nascarnation (Baraq's economic policy: trickle up poverty)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’m gonna give it a try, because I don’t have another choice, but DAYUM! Did they have to name it BIMBO!?


Weren’t these the same people who were proud to support the “Slut March?”


28 posted on 11/19/2012 5:03:57 PM PST by Rides_A_Red_Horse (If there is a war on women, the Kennedys are the Spec Ops troops.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I heard the judge say Hostess and Union has to go to arbitration (or was it mediation? ) something like that.
Bimbo bread is okay. It is like wonder bread. I prefer french or italian myself..


29 posted on 11/19/2012 5:08:41 PM PST by visualops (artlife.us)
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To: GQuagmire
Same reason you won’t find a Red Lobster restaurant in New England.

Actually, the only decent Red Lobster I ever ate at was in New England -- the staff there actually knew how to cook seafood!

30 posted on 11/20/2012 4:47:58 AM PST by kevkrom (If a wise man has an argument with a foolish man, the fool only rages or laughs...)
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To: Army Air Corps

:: Frankly, I would love to see a Bimbo Hostess line of products ::

THAT would be the purview of Jill Kelley.


31 posted on 11/20/2012 4:58:06 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Bread and Circuses; Everyone to the Coliseum!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You can put some Olive Oyl on each side. . . . Hmmm good.

[A little Extra Virgin with your Bimbo. . . . Yumm!]

"Well, blow me down!"

32 posted on 11/20/2012 5:24:35 AM PST by Jonah Hex ("To Serve Manatee" is a cookbook!)
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To: kevkrom

I did check to see if there were any up here after I wrote that. I was surprised to find there are a few in Conn.

I went to one in Canton OH 20 years ago. I was at a training class for work and the others in my group wanted to go. They were from the Midwest. Needless to say I had a cheeseburger.


33 posted on 11/20/2012 5:48:25 AM PST by GQuagmire
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To: Charles Henrickson
The baker union's "win" over the eeevil bakery corporation reminds me of a somewhat similar union "victory" over the company in which I was employed for most of my working life (I'm now retired). Our company built a plant in a NE state that is practically owned by big labor (mistake #1) and hired about 100-125 local people for well paid assembly line jobs. They were paid substantially more per hour than any local companies were paying, along with a generous profit sharing program and fully paid for health insurance.

However, that excellent benefit package wasn't good enough for the unionized workers, so they began demanding higher pay and more benefits even though many, if not most, of them in that backwater area had been unemployed before the plant opened. So, when their demands were not met they began what amounted to a reign of terror tactics against the management team and their families who had relocated to that area. It began with relatively minor criminal acts such as spray painting cars parked overnight, paper bags of excrement left on doorsteps, threatening notes, etc, then progressed to killing family pets and hanging the bodies on doorknobs,, threatening kids walking to school, breaking windshields, denting car roofs and doors, etc.

After a few months of those outrages and little or no help from local law enforcement (unionized no doubt) the CEO of our company simply closed the plant and put the property up for sale. I had been offered a considerably better position in mid-level management at that plant before it opened, but I didn't take it because my family didn't want to relocate from the sunny south to the frozen northland. And after the union terror tactics became known throughout the company I was very thankful that they had kept me from taking that transfer. I hope the fanatical union so-called "workers" who fouled their own nests are happy now while they're probably back to living on public welfare paid for by the taxes of other people who are willing to work for good wages and generous benefits without the "blessing" of thuggish union bosses.

34 posted on 11/20/2012 6:38:38 AM PST by epow (The way of the cross leads home)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“I have been having quite a bit of a hard time in thinking I may lose my beloved Wonder Bread,”

Let them eat cake!


35 posted on 11/20/2012 7:44:01 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“a national brand like Hostess is likely not going away for long. . . . it will probably outlive us all.”

Yet, these same DUmmies deny this exact situation regarding GM.


36 posted on 11/20/2012 7:57:53 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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