lol
Posted on 11/10/2012 11:57:38 AM PST by John Semmens
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive blocking persons from donating food to the homeless in his city.
“It's not that we question the generous intent of these donations,” Bloomberg reassured. “It's just that we have no way of guaranteeing the quality of the donated food. The risk is that donor ignorance could result in excessive amounts of salt and fat in the diets of these unfortunates.”
If those operating homeless shelters or the homeless themselves do not turn away food donations, NYC police are authorized to seize food items before they can be consumed. While there is, as yet, no explicit penalty associated with the new policy, organizations operating homeless shelters are warned that “failure to comply could spark a more thorough evaluation of their authority to continue to operate.”
Bloomberg haughtily dismissed suggestions that salty or fatty food might be preferable to no food from the point of view of a person living on the street. “We can't let short-sighted hunger pangs deter us from our goal of raising the standards for all food consumed in the City,” Bloomberg insisted. “The consumption of excess salt and fat in a person's diet has serious health consequences that we must prevent.”
Luckily, other City regulations will continue to ensure that the more adventurous and enterprising members of the homeless population can feed from dumpsters that are well-stocked with semi-comestible discards from restaurants and grocery stores.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/122316-2012-11-09-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-november-11-2012.htm
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NYC has the government they desire and deserve. Otherwise they would show up on his doorstep and march him into the street at the end of a pitchfork.
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Louisiana just sent a trailer load or two to the NYC area, filled with food,blankets, pet food etc. I’m betting they will be turned away- or the food will be rejected. I can’t see the chic N.E. types eating cans of BlueRunner red beans and other southern fare. Guess if they can’t get it from their favorite deli it’s trash.
Oh well- they could always start eating their elderly. They will be dispensable under Obamacare anyway.
Snobs! If it isn’t ‘green’ they don’t want it. They are suffering mostly INCONVENIENCE( not the ones whose homes were destroyed by flooding). No tv,no Xbox, no WII-horrors! Haven’t they had WINTER before- snow, ice, wind??? No one owns blankets and socks in highrises??? Pathetic.
Why are they complaining? Their ‘savior’ should commence to ‘saving’ soon....right???
Won’t be long before they put locks on dumpsters, I think Spain did
I do not mind a single ping or maybe even two pings to a thread from one person, but John, I received four pings this time. Two less pings am asking for next time.
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Give me one ping and one ping only, Vasili!
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Two less is less clutter, three less and yer better.
“The risk is that donor ignorance could result in excessive amounts of salt and fat in the diets of these unfortunates.”
The real risk is the gov’t doesn’t want competition for it’s vote buying programs.
Damn Charities, anyway.....
Dig that crazy beat, man!
Lighten up, Francis. I doubt if it was intentional.
You always have me netted until the second graph. It’s the John Semmens Formula....
Thanks for the hoot, John. I can always count on you.
HE HAW.
A joke. Right?
That was a bit brash and evil of me. May I have mulligan?and btw ... I never beat a ping, too slow.
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