Posted on 11/10/2012 11:57:38 AM PST by John Semmens
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive blocking persons from donating food to the homeless in his city.
“It's not that we question the generous intent of these donations,” Bloomberg reassured. “It's just that we have no way of guaranteeing the quality of the donated food. The risk is that donor ignorance could result in excessive amounts of salt and fat in the diets of these unfortunates.”
If those operating homeless shelters or the homeless themselves do not turn away food donations, NYC police are authorized to seize food items before they can be consumed. While there is, as yet, no explicit penalty associated with the new policy, organizations operating homeless shelters are warned that “failure to comply could spark a more thorough evaluation of their authority to continue to operate.”
Bloomberg haughtily dismissed suggestions that salty or fatty food might be preferable to no food from the point of view of a person living on the street. “We can't let short-sighted hunger pangs deter us from our goal of raising the standards for all food consumed in the City,” Bloomberg insisted. “The consumption of excess salt and fat in a person's diet has serious health consequences that we must prevent.”
Luckily, other City regulations will continue to ensure that the more adventurous and enterprising members of the homeless population can feed from dumpsters that are well-stocked with semi-comestible discards from restaurants and grocery stores.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/122316-2012-11-09-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-november-11-2012.htm
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive to put limits on the number of pings on can receive. A person can only get one ping. Then, New York will exert a fine of $5000.
Sarc/
Look at the title of the source, dude. LOL.
John, don’t go giving Bloomie ideas!
I guess I missed that.
“One Ping to rule them all, One Ping to find them,”
from “Lord of the Pings” by Tolkien
I don’t like salty foods but salt Should be used in Moderation.
Why?
High salt diet leads to diabetes and high blood pressure.
Lack of salt in diet leads to cardiovascular disease and increases fatality rates by %56.
Also can lead to heart palpitations, and decreased kidney functions.
Why are people taking medical advice from politicians? I get mine from my auto mechanic.
Something tells me the low salt push is to kill off enough people so their socialized medicine program has greater chance of success .
It used to be easy to spot satire.
But things are getting so far out now that I really believed this one. lol
Its not really semi-news, it’s real news. Bloomburg did it last March.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless/
Because you can’t monitor salt and calories, etc.
Its not really semi-news, it’s real news. Bloomburg did it last March.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless/
Because you can’t monitor salt and calories, etc.
From my back channel sources - there are far less homeless to donate the food to. Most of the “bodies pulled out of the water” after the hurricane were homeless. A huge amount of them from the subway system.
Someone should organize Take the Homeless to Lunch Day.
No Donut is safe!
LOL!
GOOD!
This is GOOD directive!
Feeding the homeless will only encourage more homelessness.
It is better that these homeless people go hungry than to take the chance that they might consume dangerous quantities of salt, sugar or fat. And also, think of all the bureaucrats that would have their feelings hurt if they found out that most people could care less about salt, sugar and fat. Let the homeless suffer!
ALL HAIL OBAMA!
He actually did according to CBS: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless, and i like the first comment:
15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” 16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” 17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.
21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.
“I don’t care whose son he is, “ said Mayor Bloomberg. “He won’t be doing that again.”
I’m guessing this article started out as “Mayor of NYC refuses to ask National Guard for help because they carry guns” and then had to be changed.
The ultimate synergy will come when police are authorized to seize contraband food items from everyone. At first, people will be stunned. They will then resort to hiding these items. Police will then be authorized to search anyone suspected of hiding food. This will include everyone carrying a bag, purse, briefcase, etc., or wearing loose clothing with pockets that could conseal contraband food.
Eventually, all food will have to be obtained from government dispensaries. Refrigerators, stoves and ovens will be banned. This will be hailed as a major efficiency, as well as a guarantee of healthy diets for all.
Thanks for the ping John. Another good one.
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