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NYC Mayor Bans Food Donations to Homeless
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Nov 2012 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/10/2012 11:57:38 AM PST by John Semmens

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive blocking persons from donating food to the homeless in his city.

“It's not that we question the generous intent of these donations,” Bloomberg reassured. “It's just that we have no way of guaranteeing the quality of the donated food. The risk is that donor ignorance could result in excessive amounts of salt and fat in the diets of these unfortunates.”

If those operating homeless shelters or the homeless themselves do not turn away food donations, NYC police are authorized to seize food items before they can be consumed. While there is, as yet, no explicit penalty associated with the new policy, organizations operating homeless shelters are warned that “failure to comply could spark a more thorough evaluation of their authority to continue to operate.”

Bloomberg haughtily dismissed suggestions that salty or fatty food might be preferable to no food from the point of view of a person living on the street. “We can't let short-sighted hunger pangs deter us from our goal of raising the standards for all food consumed in the City,” Bloomberg insisted. “The consumption of excess salt and fat in a person's diet has serious health consequences that we must prevent.”

Luckily, other City regulations will continue to ensure that the more adventurous and enterprising members of the homeless population can feed from dumpsters that are well-stocked with semi-comestible discards from restaurants and grocery stores.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/122316-2012-11-09-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-november-11-2012.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bloomberg; homeless; nannyism; satire
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1 posted on 11/10/2012 11:57:42 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 11/10/2012 12:02:37 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 11/10/2012 12:03:27 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

NYC has the government they desire and deserve. Otherwise they would show up on his doorstep and march him into the street at the end of a pitchfork.


4 posted on 11/10/2012 12:04:12 PM PST by Newbomb Turk (Hey Newbomb, where's your brothers ElCamino ?)
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


5 posted on 11/10/2012 12:04:25 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


6 posted on 11/10/2012 12:04:45 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Louisiana just sent a trailer load or two to the NYC area, filled with food,blankets, pet food etc. I’m betting they will be turned away- or the food will be rejected. I can’t see the chic N.E. types eating cans of BlueRunner red beans and other southern fare. Guess if they can’t get it from their favorite deli it’s trash.
Oh well- they could always start eating their elderly. They will be dispensable under Obamacare anyway.
Snobs! If it isn’t ‘green’ they don’t want it. They are suffering mostly INCONVENIENCE( not the ones whose homes were destroyed by flooding). No tv,no Xbox, no WII-horrors! Haven’t they had WINTER before- snow, ice, wind??? No one owns blankets and socks in highrises??? Pathetic.
Why are they complaining? Their ‘savior’ should commence to ‘saving’ soon....right???


7 posted on 11/10/2012 12:15:13 PM PST by ClearBlueSky (Whenever someone says it's not about Islam-it's about Islam. Jesus loves you, Allah wants you dead!)
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To: John Semmens

Won’t be long before they put locks on dumpsters, I think Spain did


8 posted on 11/10/2012 12:15:30 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: John Semmens

I do not mind a single ping or maybe even two pings to a thread from one person, but John, I received four pings this time. Two less pings am asking for next time.


9 posted on 11/10/2012 12:15:48 PM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: John Semmens
Give me one ping and one ping only, Vasili!

lol

10 posted on 11/10/2012 12:21:16 PM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: no-to-illegals; TigersEye; John Semmens
Photobucket
11 posted on 11/10/2012 12:26:16 PM PST by smoothsailing
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I guess that other website doesn't want anyone to know of their existence. I'll try again using another website.

Give me one ping and one ping only, Vasili!

lol

12 posted on 11/10/2012 12:28:49 PM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: smoothsailing

Two less is less clutter, three less and yer better.


13 posted on 11/10/2012 12:29:18 PM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: John Semmens

“The risk is that donor ignorance could result in excessive amounts of salt and fat in the diets of these unfortunates.”

The real risk is the gov’t doesn’t want competition for it’s vote buying programs.

Damn Charities, anyway.....


14 posted on 11/10/2012 12:29:49 PM PST by G Larry (Which of Obama's policies do you think I'd support if he were white?)
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To: smoothsailing

Dig that crazy beat, man!


15 posted on 11/10/2012 12:30:35 PM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: no-to-illegals

Lighten up, Francis. I doubt if it was intentional.


16 posted on 11/10/2012 12:32:49 PM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: John Semmens

You always have me netted until the second graph. It’s the John Semmens Formula....

Thanks for the hoot, John. I can always count on you.


17 posted on 11/10/2012 12:33:27 PM PST by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: TigersEye

HE HAW.


18 posted on 11/10/2012 12:34:02 PM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: John Semmens

A joke. Right?


19 posted on 11/10/2012 12:37:28 PM PST by jonrick46 (The opium of other people's money.)
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To: TigersEye; smoothsailing; John Semmens

That was a bit brash and evil of me. May I have mulligan?and btw ... I never beat a ping, too slow.


20 posted on 11/10/2012 12:39:57 PM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: no-to-illegals

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive to put limits on the number of pings on can receive. A person can only get one ping. Then, New York will exert a fine of $5000.

Sarc/


21 posted on 11/10/2012 12:48:31 PM PST by jonrick46 (The opium of other people's money.)
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To: jonrick46

Look at the title of the source, dude. LOL.


22 posted on 11/10/2012 12:48:34 PM PST by Alberta's Child ("I am the master of my fate ... I am the captain of my soul.")
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To: John Semmens

John, don’t go giving Bloomie ideas!


23 posted on 11/10/2012 12:51:44 PM PST by EDINVA
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To: no-to-illegals
That was a bit brash and evil of me.

I guess I missed that.

24 posted on 11/10/2012 12:53:03 PM PST by TigersEye (Who is John Galt?)
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To: TigersEye; no-to-illegals; John Semmens
Untitled-1
25 posted on 11/10/2012 1:16:25 PM PST by smoothsailing
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To: John Semmens

“One Ping to rule them all, One Ping to find them,”

from “Lord of the Pings” by Tolkien


26 posted on 11/10/2012 1:27:20 PM PST by dynachrome ("Our forefathers didn't bury their guns. They buried those that tried to take them.")
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To: John Semmens

I don’t like salty foods but salt Should be used in Moderation.
Why?
High salt diet leads to diabetes and high blood pressure.
Lack of salt in diet leads to cardiovascular disease and increases fatality rates by %56.
Also can lead to heart palpitations, and decreased kidney functions.

Why are people taking medical advice from politicians? I get mine from my auto mechanic.

Something tells me the low salt push is to kill off enough people so their socialized medicine program has greater chance of success .


27 posted on 11/10/2012 1:30:26 PM PST by Morris70
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To: John Semmens

It used to be easy to spot satire.

But things are getting so far out now that I really believed this one. lol


28 posted on 11/10/2012 1:36:16 PM PST by Kinder Gentler Machinegun Hand
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To: Kinder Gentler Machinegun Hand; John Semmens

Its not really semi-news, it’s real news. Bloomburg did it last March.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless/
Because you can’t monitor salt and calories, etc.


29 posted on 11/10/2012 2:01:12 PM PST by Mazey
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To: Kinder Gentler Machinegun Hand; John Semmens

Its not really semi-news, it’s real news. Bloomburg did it last March.
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless/
Because you can’t monitor salt and calories, etc.


30 posted on 11/10/2012 2:01:12 PM PST by Mazey
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To: John Semmens

From my back channel sources - there are far less homeless to donate the food to. Most of the “bodies pulled out of the water” after the hurricane were homeless. A huge amount of them from the subway system.


31 posted on 11/10/2012 2:41:45 PM PST by QBFimi (When gunpowder speaks, beasts listen.)
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To: John Semmens
Aren't the people of NY tired of this blooming idiot?
32 posted on 11/10/2012 2:45:03 PM PST by pepperdog ( I still get a thrill up my leg when spell check doesn't recognize the name/word Obama!)
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To: John Semmens

Someone should organize Take the Homeless to Lunch Day.


33 posted on 11/10/2012 2:46:00 PM PST by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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To: pepperdog
So I see it's satire, but my question stands.
34 posted on 11/10/2012 2:47:39 PM PST by pepperdog ( I still get a thrill up my leg when spell check doesn't recognize the name/word Obama!)
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To: John Semmens
If those operating homeless shelters or the homeless themselves do not turn away food donations, NYC police are authorized to seize food items before they can be consumed.

No Donut is safe!

LOL!

35 posted on 11/10/2012 2:58:43 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: John Semmens
"New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has issued a directive blocking persons from donating food to the homeless in his city."

GOOD!
This is GOOD directive!

Feeding the homeless will only encourage more homelessness.
It is better that these homeless people go hungry than to take the chance that they might consume dangerous quantities of salt, sugar or fat. And also, think of all the bureaucrats that would have their feelings hurt if they found out that most people could care less about salt, sugar and fat. Let the homeless suffer!

ALL HAIL OBAMA!

36 posted on 11/10/2012 3:04:48 PM PST by StormEye
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To: John Semmens

He actually did according to CBS: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless, and i like the first comment:

15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” 16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” 17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.

21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

“I don’t care whose son he is, “ said Mayor Bloomberg. “He won’t be doing that again.”


And under the same rationale that was used to stop food going to city shelters, it would be only one more step for Bloomberg to forbid donations to any homeless ministry. Note that under Communism private charity can be persecuted so that the people only look to the state (as God).


37 posted on 11/10/2012 3:23:58 PM PST by daniel1212 (Come to the Lord Jesus as a contrite damned+destitute sinner, trust Him to save you, then live 4 Him)
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To: John Semmens

I’m guessing this article started out as “Mayor of NYC refuses to ask National Guard for help because they carry guns” and then had to be changed.


38 posted on 11/10/2012 3:24:09 PM PST by 21twelve (So I [God] gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices. Psalm 81:12)
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To: Smokin' Joe

The ultimate synergy will come when police are authorized to seize contraband food items from everyone. At first, people will be stunned. They will then resort to hiding these items. Police will then be authorized to search anyone suspected of hiding food. This will include everyone carrying a bag, purse, briefcase, etc., or wearing loose clothing with pockets that could conseal contraband food.

Eventually, all food will have to be obtained from government dispensaries. Refrigerators, stoves and ovens will be banned. This will be hailed as a major efficiency, as well as a guarantee of healthy diets for all.


39 posted on 11/10/2012 3:31:26 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the ping John. Another good one.


40 posted on 11/10/2012 4:10:08 PM PST by rockinqsranch
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To: John Semmens

Please drop me from pings. I read your site anyway.


41 posted on 11/10/2012 4:27:27 PM PST by TribalPrincess2U (0bama's agenda¬óDivide and conquer. FREEDOM OR FREE STUFF- YOU GET ONE CHOICE, CHOOSE WISELY)
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To: John Semmens

That food may not be halal, either :)


42 posted on 11/10/2012 4:35:47 PM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens

While I know that this is satire I can’t help but to see the truth of this. Bloomburg would rather homeless people starve than receive food from the generous.


43 posted on 11/10/2012 5:28:49 PM PST by Sunshine Sister
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To: John Semmens

You, sir, continue to meet my high standards of satire excellence. Bravo!


44 posted on 11/10/2012 7:07:29 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" - Isaiah 7:9)
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To: John Semmens
NYC Mayor Bans Food Donations to Homeless...no surprise here - our doctor reports that Medicare forbids him waiving payment of co-pays from his patients, no matter how poor they may be; they claim this would be a way for him to "induce" patients to return to him for additional treatment - government hates private charity - recipients don't need big fancy government programs as much when private citizens get involved, and those donating tend to feel better about themselves when giving, and a happy citizen is a citizen who is less likely to be looking to government for salvation - all pretty sick.....
45 posted on 11/10/2012 9:38:31 PM PST by Intolerant in NJ
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To: jonrick46

Bloomberg’s working with the UN on this one, me think, and would not surprise me. No sarc tag, probably, probable. Then what if your post gets the blame? Adding sarc.


46 posted on 11/11/2012 12:36:24 AM PST by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: John Semmens

I know I said I wouldn’t be a pest, but there you are making trouble both ways:

If it’s true, as some freepers are saying, and someone thinks it’s satire, they could be arrested for giving food to the homeless.

If it’s satire, as other freepers are saying, it keeps food from going to hungry people.

Haven’t you caused enough trouble in one lifetime?

Is it true or false?


47 posted on 11/11/2012 12:46:01 AM PST by firebrand
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To: firebrand

INSERT: . . . and someone thinks it’s true . . .


48 posted on 11/11/2012 12:49:03 AM PST by firebrand
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To: firebrand

Bloomberg banning food donations is true.

The explanation for his action is the satire.

I have been writing these semi-satires since 2005. The events depicted have always been essentially true. The quotes in which the leftist loons justify their actions are where I take creative license—going beyond what they may have said in order to expose what they really may be thinking.

The vast majority of my readers have grasped and enjoy my methods. I am sorry it is difficult for you. It would probably be best for you if you skipped my posts.


49 posted on 11/11/2012 11:33:36 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Good job again, John. Thanks for the ping.
50 posted on 11/11/2012 1:21:00 PM PST by fatnotlazy
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