Can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
Thereby pointing the way to Constitutional circumvention on limitations of powers. You need no longer try to mandate an action. You just put a punitive tax on nonaction.
It is actually Medieval. You are not compelled to spend 1/3 of your days working on your liege lord's estate. You can opt out by paying half your goods and chattal, and having your comely wife spend a few nights entertaining your lord and master. It's just a tax.
And there ain't enough lipstick in all the WalMarts in the Nation to dress this pig up...