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Living in Fear: Why I Wrote "Me Too" Along With So Many Other Women
The Daily Banter ^ | October 17, 2017 | Nicole Perry

Posted on 10/18/2017 5:23:48 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet

One night I asked my husband if he understood that as a woman I’m afraid much of the time. He didn’t, so I explained it to him.

Yesterday the words “Me too” were re-tweeted, posted, and shared all over Facebook and Twitter. News organizations responded by reporting how Alyssa Milano’s initial call to write “Me too” if you have ever been sexually harassed or assaulted had erupted into a huge viral event. Was it a shock? Were people really that surprised? Or maybe it was only men who didn’t realize how pervasive of an issue this is. Are men that ignorant of what it’s like to walk in women’s shoes?

In her book, “What Happened,” Hillary Clinton touches on the fear that women feel in their daily lives. I hadn’t thought about it, but it’s true. One night I asked my husband if he understood that as a woman I’m afraid much of the time. He didn’t, so I explained it to him.

When I go for a run in the morning, I get nervous when I pass by a van, by an alley or find myself alone on a quiet street. If an elevator is broken in an office building and I have to take the stairs a sense of panic sets in when the door to the empty stairs slams shut behind me. I get shivers when I find myself looking for my car in a dark parking garage. At night I walk with my keys aimed out like a dagger in case some creep jumps out of nowhere. I always check the backseat when I climb into my car to make sure no one is hiding behind me. When I drive home I never pull into my driveway if there is a car right behind me. Instead, I drive around the block until they’re gone. When I walk into an empty house I always check around to make sure nothing looks out of place. When my husband is traveling I lock my bedroom door.

The list goes on.

His response? He was shocked. He had no idea. Of course he had no idea that I felt this vulnerable, he’s 6’6”. It’s rare that he feels exposed. But there is a stark contrast in the level of safety that men feel in this world compared to women. And if you’re a man, unless someone has spelled it out to you like I did with my husband, chances are you’re probably oblivious to this, too. So when a woman feel harassed by a man, it’s more than just being told you have a nice ass or that a dress looks good on you. If guy tries to kiss you in the hallway, it’s more than just being flirtatious. Think about how the woman feels. Put it in context of a person who is already keenly aware of her physical vulnerability compared to a man, and how if a man wants to take advantage of her, chance are, there wouldn’t be much that she could do to stop it. What men might think is just a compliment, women see as a warning sign, or worse, a threat.

That’s why yesterday I and so many other women wrote “Me Too.”


TOPICS: Heated Discussion
KEYWORDS: men; safety; sexualharrasment; women
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Comments?
1 posted on 10/18/2017 5:23:48 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
What men might think is just a compliment, women see as a warning sign, or worse, a threat.

/sigh

2 posted on 10/18/2017 5:25:02 AM PDT by mykroar (Congratulations President Trump)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

She’s quoting Hillary Clinton, further proof that this whole “Me Too” thing is just the latest Leftist campaign de jour.


3 posted on 10/18/2017 5:25:03 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Lady, get a gun.


4 posted on 10/18/2017 5:26:10 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big governent is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
My wife is 5'1" and scared of nothing. :)
5 posted on 10/18/2017 5:30:28 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ([CTRL]-[GALT]-[DELETE])
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

It destroys the rule of law to allow a subjective individual feeling to be made into a crime.

It is obvious that this is so, because then anyone can convict someone else of a crime, merely by saying that they “felt” threatened.

In law, there is the reasonable person rule, in which a jury of your peers considers the situation and actions, and determines if a reasonable person would have believed what the person in that situation believed as reasonable.

I suspect we are headed for a 24/7 recording society, where everything is recorded to protect the innocent from unreasonable allegations.


6 posted on 10/18/2017 5:31:02 AM PDT by marktwain (President Trump and his supporters are the Resistance. His opponents are the Reactionaries.)
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To: PapaBear3625

God made men. Sam Colt made them equal.


7 posted on 10/18/2017 5:31:19 AM PDT by x1stcav (We have the guns. Do we have the will?)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Victimhood gone viral.


8 posted on 10/18/2017 5:32:02 AM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder (Apoplectic is where we want them!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

The degree to which women perceive sexual harassment is inversely proportional to the attentiveness of the man involved.


9 posted on 10/18/2017 5:37:29 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

attentiveness = attractiveness


10 posted on 10/18/2017 5:38:17 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: PapaBear3625

That sounds like good situational awareness. Add a gun with some training and she should be all set. On the other hand my wife and I saw a young lady running alone on a wooded path at sunset not far from our home. Unwise! As a police officer said. “Someone is always watching” looking for the vulnerable.


11 posted on 10/18/2017 5:39:01 AM PDT by uscga77 (the truth remains)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Some of her comments are accurate because she obviously is an urban dweller. Urban dwellers have to be more careful. But checking in the back seat of a car? Doesn’t she lock her doors when exiting?? I do. And driving around the block because there is a car behind her? She’s nuts.

Criminals do tend to prey on women - they are seen a lesser threats the men. Way of the world, unfortunately.


12 posted on 10/18/2017 5:40:34 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

It’s a good thing we have torn down our social structure used to regulate many of these matters. Why can’t women protect themselves? I see 95 lbs. women beating up 250 lbs. men all the time. Grrrl power!


13 posted on 10/18/2017 5:45:02 AM PDT by cdcdawg
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Everyone knows a woman in America can’t go to the grocery store without being raped.


14 posted on 10/18/2017 5:45:04 AM PDT by IronJack
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To: dfwgator

I belong to a social media group of conservatives who have been rock-solid on issues and immune to manipulation...until now.

The allure of victimhood is too great to resist for some, it seems, along with off-the-peg solidarity etc.

Yes, even conservative gals are jumping into the #metoo pool and hiding behind ‘this issue is too important etc etc.’

As usual, they cannot or will not define what they consider to be sexual assault and so the definition is spread as thin and as wide as an oil slick. As usual, the men are supposed to not only dance to the tune but guess its title before the music even begins. Sidelong glances in a parking lot are ‘threats,’ saying good morning is ‘unwelcome attention,’ etc etc.

I think reasonable people can distinguish between actual assault and natural, normal, safe advances by members of the opposite sex. Unreasonable people want the Thought Police in charge. Again.


15 posted on 10/18/2017 5:47:00 AM PDT by relictele
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

They will employ Harvey Weinstein in their own feminist agenda , which is - he was just behaving as ALL men do, because you just know that every American woman is living every moment in utter fear!!! They will excuse Harvey Weinstein by condemning maleness anywhere and everywhere.


16 posted on 10/18/2017 5:53:37 AM PDT by Wuli
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

1. A man can’t know what his woman “feels” unless she tells him.

2. My wife complained that I don’t share my feelings, but I disagreed, and told her I felt hungry.

3. Maybe she’d “feel” safe if they made her area a gun free zone.

:)


17 posted on 10/18/2017 5:54:56 AM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: marktwain
I suspect we are headed for a 24/7 recording society, where everything is recorded to protect the innocent from unreasonable allegations.

Make sure that your Audio recordings are including the Ultrasonic range... You'll have to prove the the Snowflakes and Advocates that you were NOT using a 'Dog Whistle'!

18 posted on 10/18/2017 5:55:01 AM PDT by BwanaNdege ("The church ... is not the master or the servant of the state, but the conscience" - Luther)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

So put your big girl panties on and go on.

You think men don’t think twice about the alley? about the dark paths at night? Of course we do...its part of being alert and aware.
What we do NOT do is go on some angst-ridden whining jag...we handle it and go on.

Try it, since you want to be all like men and stuff...


19 posted on 10/18/2017 5:55:18 AM PDT by Adder (Mr. Franklin: We are trying to get the Republic back!)
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To: central_va

No, attentiveness works, too. If the woman has been getting attention from the man and likes the attention, his ‘comments/actions’ are likely wanted.


20 posted on 10/18/2017 5:56:36 AM PDT by originalbuckeye ('In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act'- George Orwell)
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